The Fountain Of Youth Secret

By Jo Rooks

“Don’t the girls all look prettier at closing time…they all begin to look like movie stars…”  These lyrics from a country song have been in my mind lately.   I am almost positive my mom must have listened to the song during her pregnancy with me and I remember it from the womb because I don’t think I could be old enough to remember it otherwise!

As I contemplate why this song is stuck in my mind, my thoughts wander to a couple my husband and I met not too long ago.  The couple was very impressive, exuberant about life, full of energy and laughter.  They seemed to view life, not as full of challenges, but full of opportunities, and showed no intention of slowing down.  This became obvious when they proudly expressed that they were “nearing their 70’s”.  I think anyone would be as shocked as I was when I heard that they were “nearing” this age.  Not only were they young in their demeanor and energy levels but they also looked very young.  Of course I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity to find out the “secret” to their personal fountain of youth and I asked the question, “What is your secret to being so young?”  As I anxiously awaited their reply I told myself to pay attention so I would remember all they told me, yet my thoughts were racing ahead to which  health food store I would go to pick up whatever herb, vitamin, “fountain of youth miracle” I needed to get, hoping I would like the “secret” food they ate, that the “magic” exercise program would be fun, at what store I could pick up the face regimen products I was about to hear about.  “Oh God, I hope she doesn’t sell them and ask me to host a party,” flashed through my thoughts as I  imagined researching the best plastic surgeon in the city.  I kept my fingers crossed that all the “fountain of youth” secrets wouldn’t break the bank!

After what seemed an eternity but in real time was about three seconds they replied, “Vodka.” VODKA?!?!…I was jolted out of my thoughts and back to reality.  They proceeded to elaborate that potato vodka was especially good.

Of course I had heard for quite some time, that a daily glass of red wine was good for a person; and then shortly after our enjoyable encounter with the impressive couple, there was a news story on the health benefits of beer, and chocolate.  It appears that beer, and of course dark chocolate and red wine, have many health benefits.  I have heard of people in their late 90’s who have had one drink of whiskey a day for years and are healthy and “younger than their years.”  And now I can add vodka to the list.

Continuing my contemplation I thought back on all the face regimens I tried, some taking up to eight steps twice a day to complete; all those products I ended up not using because it literally stressed me out, aging me more, trying to get the twice-daily regimen done than if I hadn’t used it at all.  I am convinced that the “before and after” photos are a fluke.  I could have opened a few “fountain of youth” stores myself just from the various products I tried but never saw results from.  Adding up all the money spent, I am sure I could have bought a liquor store, not just a bottle or two of vodka.  I am not going to even start on the “healthy, anti-aging,” eating regimens I have tried!

Don’t think I didn’t research what brands of vodka are made from potatoes because of course I did.  I also researched the health benefits of beer, red wine and dark chocolate. Weighing outthe options and possible results I placed the multiple-step face regimen and healthy, anti-aging foods on the left side of the scale with a glass of beer, red wine, a shot of vodka and an ounce ofdark chocolate on the right side and yep, you guessed it.  The right side wins!  Will it be my “fountain of youth” secret?  Time will tell but I know one thing:  by the time I finish the glass of beer, red wine, shot of vodka and ounce of dark chocolate I am either going to think I look better, (like a movie star), or be so relaxed I won’t care!  Which brings me right back to the lyrics of that country song…“Don’t the girls all look prettier at closing time…they all begin to look like movie stars…”!  

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