The series finale of “Teen Mom” seemed to cover a lot of the unfinished business as well has its worst fight or at least the second worst fight. Gary and Amber really got at each other although there wasn’t any hitting. The drama came when Gary threatened to never to let Amber see Leah. Not a good thing for Gary to do; just too manipulating.
Anyway, we’ll get back to that. Let’s begin this right:
Farrah is in Florida and Sophia with Debra in Iowa, so Farrah has “empty nestsyndrome” already. But! Farrah actually has a friend now; kind of. She chills with her neighbor occasionally. Farrah mentions she still gets sad about Derek, and Sophia helps to distract her. Since Sophia isn’t around to get into stuff, we get to watch Farrah cook. Yay?
Once Farrah is done making a mess of a cooking project, she looks into classes for Sophia. She considers signing her up for an art class. Then Farrah heads to Iowa to pick Sophia up, so we’re no longer subjected to a cooking lesson.
Sophia tells Farrah, “Mommy, you’re a bad person!” Hahaha, what? Then Sophia calls her a crybaby. Is it wrong that that totally cracked me up?
Amber started dating some guy named Mike in order to “move on” from Gary. (He said he never ate Italian. Dump him NOW! Mmmm, Italian food…) Within 10 minutes, she mentions her legal issues, which is always a good thing to talk about on a first date. And then they kiss and her fake eyelashes get stuck to his nose and totally ruins the date. Just kidding about the eyelash part, but they did kiss.
Gary is having a birthday party for Leah, and they’re having another birthday party after the court date so Amber could go. However, Amber is none too happy that Gary’s having a party for her before the court date and she can’t attend. Gary sounds a little jealous of Amber’s non-Italian-food-eating boyfriend: “Now you’re busy with your little boyfriend…”
Amber’s pearls of wisdom: “Man, it’s hard having a kid. Especially with an asshole.”
Gary and Amber get into a huge fight on the phone (of course) and Amber calls Gary a bastard, but Gary calls Amber a wh*re and a ‘slut puppy.’ What the heck is a slut puppy? Anyway, Amber tells Gary he’s not going to get custody. Amber completely freaks out and is screaming and crying and has an anxiety attack or something. It was kind of hard to tell what happened…almost looked like she passed out. I’m going to assume it’s just Amber being a drama queen.
When Gary is talking to his friend, Evan, later, he tells him he overreacted and was selfish.
Side note: During this episode, Farrah and Gary exchanged “words” over twitter.
Farrah: @ItsGaryTime What a pig! Your horrible go get mental help for ambers sake P.O.S
Gary’s response: @F1abraham go make another hit single or treat your parents like shit. Always stuck up for you not anymore.
So then Farrah said Gary needs to read her book, and he responds with, “Seriously Farrah. I don’t care 4 u 1 bit. Ur cry face sucks & so does your cookies. Unless you change your gonna die lonely.” You can’t make this stuff up.
Okay, back to the episode at hand. I promise I’ll stop watching the twitter drama unfold (for now).
So when Amber wakes up from her nap or coma or whatever had happened there, Gary calls her since he calmed down and discusses the whole custody situation with her, and they both talk civilly. She agrees to go through with the custody hearing after all.
They go to court and Gary is granted custody and the No Contact Order will be getting dropped.
Maci on labor: “Pushed him out of my hoo-hoo.” She was talking to Kyle about how much she misses Bentley on his birthday, but that was the only sentence that stuck out to me. Haha! Hoo-hoo. I’m so mature.
Maci is actually doing better in school. Maci’s friend, Erica, on Ryan: “I wonder if he sometimes wants what he can’t have…” Personally, I think that’s Maci’s problem. I didn’t always feel that way, but lately I’m beginning to rethink that.
In the meantime, Ryan goes to his lawyer to talk about 50/50 custody. Ryan mentions to his lawyer about Maci living with someone she’s not married to, and the lawyer says that it’s an issue…living with someone she’s not married to and having a small child. Is this 1950 or something? Does this mean I have to tell Steve Beans to move out? I mean, I have a child and all. He might be heartbroken, but hey! More room in the bed for me. Oh, yeah, back to the show…
When Ryan picks up Bentley, he asks Maci for Bentley’s birth certificate so that he can file for 50/50 custody. She tells him he can get one himself, since her copy is at her mom’s house, and Ryan looks completely put out by that request. It probably requires too much effort for him.
When Ryan is talking to his parents and Dalis about the situation, Dalis is like, “What if we live together? It would be the same thing.” And she’s totally all defending Maci. So weird.
April needs a break from life, so Catelynn and Tyler are looking after Cate’s brother, Nick. Tyler is in a super bad mood and swearing and yelling at the dogs and stuff. Yikes. Him screaming at the dog (after it took a dump on the floor) scared Nick and he started crying. Catelynn admits that Tyler’s temper is getting worse and it’s really starting to bother her.
Side note: Catelynn and Tyler seem to eat pizza a lot.
When Catelynn talks to Tyler about the temper, he says he should set up an appointment with a counselor.
When Tyler talks to the therapist, he says he doesn’t know why he gets so angry. He’s like, “The dog does something stupid or Catelynn says something stupid.” (and I laughed again.) Then he says the whole issue may be because of Butch. He thinks he should maybe write him a letter in prison to cut him off, but he doesn’t think it would be a good idea, since he would basically telling him he can die alone. Kathleen (the therapist) says he’s afraid, which is projecting itself into anger.
Tyler ends up writing the letter to Butch, basically cutting him off. Tyler and Catelynn end up talking about the Carly situation and Tyler says that he would be lying if he said he didn’t regret it sometimes. They still agree it was the best decision to place her for adoption though.