“Glee” Recap: focus squarely on Britney Spears’ downward spiral

“Glee” Kicked off its second Britney Spears tribute episode but unlike the first Heather Morris won’t exactly be channeling Britney in her prime. The fun seemed as though it was going to go on forever.

However, while the first Britney episode celebrated Spears’ triumphs — re-creating her breakout music video for “Baby, One More Time” and her Madonna duet “Me Against the Music” — “Britney 2.0” put the focus squarely on Britney’s downward spiral. First, Brittany tried to shave her own head because, she reasoned, “if I can’t have a high pony, I don’t want hair at all.” Unlike the original Brit-Brit, Mr. Schue was able to stop her in time, but that didn’t keep the fifth year senior from going berserk in the McKinley halls moments later when she attacked the paparazzi, errr… Jacob Israel with a large umbrella.

But let’s take it from the top. The episode, “Britney 2.0,” begins with Britney realizing that she’s not actually doing a voiceover, leading into her awesome “Hold It Against Me.” Yes, Brittany’s vocal performance proves that she really does deserve to be vice-Rachel.

And just like that, within maybe the first five minutes of the episode, we realized that there definitely needs to be more Brittany-centric episodes. The girl was just a nonstop avalanche of hilarity! We’ve got to say it: Gleenot featuring Brittany as much as possible is like someone ordering a banana split and only eating the banana. (Translation: It’s a waste of what you have in front of you, and it’s just wrong.)

Sadly, we soon learn that Brittany is in a serious funk. First, Sue kicks her off the Cheerios because she doesn’t appreciate how amazing that drawing of Happyland is, with its drawing of a frowney Sue, plus Kurt and Rachel in heaven. (Apparently, if you’re not in the same room as Brittany, she assumes you’re dead.)

Meanwhile, in New York, Cassandra July tells Rachel she isn’t sexy enough for the tango. And I agree. Rachel is too sexy as French fries are to healthy.

Back in Lima, Mr. Schu thinks Britney has lost her identity and suggests she meet with Emma, the school guidance counselor, on a daily basis. In the choir room, he tells the glee kids they’ve been asked to perform at the annual pep rally. And this week’s theme? It’s Britney, Bi***!

Blaine and Artie bust out a mashup of Britney’s “Boys” and Bieber’s “Boyfriend,” which I actually quite enjoyed. Actually, I enjoy almost everything Blaine does, especially when he’s wearing a bow tie, which he was not this week. But I digress…

Unique tries to warn Marley that Jake is a womanizer. (Hmm…sound familiar?) Cue the Britney music. And now I get it…Unique is supposed to be the new Mercedes. Except Mercedes was better and didn’t annoy me. P.s. Where is Mercedes anyway? I’d like to see what she’s up to in L.A.

Unfortunately, all of these Britney songs aren’t motivating Brittany and she becomes a train wreck. First, she tries to shave her hair off a la Britney. Then she beats up paparazzo kid with an umbrella. The glee kids try to stage an intervention for their beloved Brittany and ask her to be the lead performer during the pep rally performance. And Brittany suggests they lip synch…like the real Britney! (Side note: no matter how much Britney lip synchs, I will always love her. Team Britney!)

Rachel asks her very cute colleague, Brody, to help her with a routine to showcase her sexiness. Thus, we have the highly anticipated performance of “Oops…I Did it Again!” I was more enthralled by the choreography than the actual singing, although it was a perfect song choice for her. And Brody in a black beater? Yes and yes!

But Cassie’s still not feeling it, so Rachel goes off on her about how Cassie ruined her Broadway career before it even started and Cassie is jealous of her and the other NYADA students because they’re the future. Obviously Cassie isn’t going to take Rachel’s back talk, so she kicks her out of class. Rachel later apologizes and, after a lecture, Cassie lets her off with a warning and says she’s on probation.

At William McKinley, Jake gets into a fight defending Marley and her mom (the cafeteria lady) after they share a moment on the bleachers (not that kind of moment). Mr. Schu drags him out of the cafeteria and into the lunch room to meet his half-brother, Puck, who tries to talk some sense into him.

New Directions performs “Gimme More” at the pep rally and it’s reminiscent of Britney’s awful MTV VMA performance from back in the day. The audience calls them out for lip synching and Mr. Schu goes off. Apparently, lip synching in show choir is the equivalent of doping in sports.

Eventually, Brittany comes to her senses and drafts a letter to Sue to be reinstated in the Cheerios. Sue agrees to let Brittany back on one condition: that she graduates this year.

Feeling inspired after their sexy performance, Brody rides 45 minutes on the train to visit Rachel and deliver flowers. Brody, you can bring me flowers anytime. I like sunflowers! Brody confesses he likes Rachel and goes in for the kiss, but…she denies him! Face palm. Rachel, I know you’re still madly in love with Finn, but Brody is where it’s at.

Jake eventually decides to join New Directions, thanks to Marley, Mr. Schu and Puck. But apparently he’s dating Kitty. Umm…why? Marley closes the show with a pretty decent version of “Everytime,” which includes a montage of Rachel finding her way in New York and Brittany staring at Santana’s unavailable status on iChat. Ugh.

Next week: Sarah Jessica Parker guest stars as Kurt’s boss at Vogue.com. This could be interesting!

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