Kristen Stewart Thought About Skipping Festival

Kristen Stewart walked back out on the public stage and found out it didn’t kill her.  To be back out in public after revelations of an affair that led to her breakup with “Twilight” co-star Robert Pattinson took some courage to say the least.

Yet there’s no place she would rather be than at the Toronto International Film Festival alongside her colleagues for the adaptation of Jack Kerouac’s 1950s Beat Generation novel, “On the Road.”

Stewart said she never thought about skipping the festival, where the film played ahead of its U.S. theatrical release in December.

She said it was important to be there with director Walter Salles and co-stars that include Kirsten Dunst and Garrett Hedlund, who like Stewart had worked for years to get the film made.

“We have been waiting for this thing to be unleashed for so long. It was sort of one of those situations where you just have to put yourself in your body and go appreciate the moment,” Stewart said in an interview Saturday.

But Kristen Stewart alluded to her one-time Twilight beau at a press conference for the first time today since the scandal broke six weeks ago.

“We’re going to be fine,” Kristen said when asked about the potentially awkward public appearances the twosome will have to make in November while promoting The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2.

“We’re totally fine,” she added, as an afterthought.

While the press seems to be staying away from questions pertaining to Kristen’s personal life, her answers to questions seem eerily relevant to her personal experience with love and loss. “There was always a very equally balanced thing in her life. She was just so able to understand that if she loved someone, then she loved them for everything they were. Do you know what I mean? It’s a pretty basic concept that we all try .. you know, but … she was able to live such a full life because of that,” Kristen told “etalk” when discussing her On The Road character MaryLou.

During the interview, Stewart had a hard time hiding her nerves and even became choked up while talking about her character’s capacity to love.

It’s been tough for Stewart to be back out in public after revelations of an affair that led to her breakup with Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson.

It’s not clear about the status of their relationship, although they are said to have moved out of the house they shared together in Los Angeles and have both been keeping low profiles.

Robert, 26, appeared at last night’s Stand up to Cancer fundraiser in Los Angeles, and has squirmed his way through various appearances to promote new film Cosmopolis, while avoiding questions on Kristen at all costs.

Kristen meanwhile, looked like there were several places she’d rather be as she took part in an official photo call for the film today.

The 22-year-old Twilight star did her best to muster a smile for the shoot with co-star Garrett Hedlund and director Walter Salles, but at times looking tired and weary.

Bags were clearly visible underneath the actress’s eyes, and her smile seemed a little forced.

Perhaps appropriately, the actress stuck to a conservative color palate of black and grey.

Sitting on the arm of a comfortable chair, she sported a black leather jacket, grey top and grey trousers with a black stripe.

Pointed black shoes and minimal make-up completed the look.

Her appearance at today’s photo call was far more low key than her first red carpet appearance earlier this week when she arrived at Toronto sporting a stunning bodycon dress by Zuhair Murad decorated with flowers, but suggestive with its sheer bodice and lace lower skirt panel.

She was greeted by hordes of fans who came out to show their support for the beleaguered star who has come in for some flack over her affair with Sanders.

One report said supporters were very vocal about standing by the actress, and to show her appreciation she stayed on the red carpet almost an hour longer than scheduled, making sure to sign autographs, and pose for pictures.

Kristen said at the press conference today that she never considered skipping the festival. “We have been waiting for this thing to be unleashed for so long. It was sort of one of those situations where you just have to put yourself in your body and go appreciate the moment.”

She admitted however, that she had been nervous about attending the premiere, but had been blown away by the response from the waiting fans.

“I was a little nervous, obviously. I’m always nervous before a red carpet,” said Kristen. “To be honest, I was just kind of telling myself, like, just don’t black out. Be there, don’t just figuratively put your head down and barrel though it. Be there, appreciate it. Luckily, very, very much I was able to do that.”

“You expect a lot of people at a Twilight premiere, but showing up at an On the Road Toronto film festival screening and seeing that amount of people is absolutely, disarmingly amazing. It felt pretty cool.”
Kristen stars as Marylou, the first wife of Beat Generation free spirit Dean Moriarty (Garrett Hedlund), who joins him and narrator Sal Paradise (Sam Riley) on some of their crazed cross-country adventures in the adaptation of Jack Keroac’s book.

“Marylou and Dean are the type of people that I was inspired by. Initially, at 15 reading the book, going, God, these are the sort of people I’ve got to find. The mad ones,”‘ said Kristen. “And I am so not one of them, but maybe I could be… The great thing about On the Road is that it really can crack open your shell, and I definitely realized things about myself that I didn’t realize before. That I can let my face hang out and not be too aware of it, and stop questioning myself and not be afraid of strangers, and stop being judgmental.”

Co-star Kirsten Dunst, and Garrett, who are real life loves after meeting on set, joined Kristen for  dinner after the premiere earlier this week. However, new father Tom Sturridge, was missing from the star-studded line-up as he stayed home in London with girlfriend Sienna Miller and their newborn baby Marlow.

Back in July, Kristen was photographed in the arms of father-of-two Sanders, breaking not only the hearts of his wife Liberty Ross and her long-term love Robert Pattinson- but loyal fans across the globe.

One of Stewart’s fans has been noted as saying: “Your world isn’t over and maybe this had to happen… we are put in constant situations only to overcome them… you have said many times that you do not like the spot light. Well girlie maybe this is just for you to be able to give yourself a chance and overcome this fear that holds you back and hurts you so deeply.

As the days passed, Stewart seemed to be slowly overcoming her fears. Perhaps by the time Nov. rolls around she may be much closer to normal. It’s quite clear that her fans helped remove much of her initial anxiety.

She has admitted that she felt awkward at first when she arrived in Toronto. But when she took her fight out on Sunday, a reported asked “how are you doing.” The star replied fine. Indeed Steward did just fine, and she’s probably glad she didn’t skip the festival.

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