Humorous moments in the campaigns of Romney, Gingrich, Perry, Trump, Bachmann, Santorum, and Cain

A Humorous Look Back

by James Turnage:

Gratefully the Presidential election is over. I think now it’s time to look back at a few of the more humorous moments in the campaigns. This will include chuckles from the right side of the aisle’s candidates and would be candidates, but that’s to be expected.

I don’t have anything funny to say about the Democratic primary because there was only one candidate. But the 100,000 or so debates by the Republican hopefuls gave us some laughable moments and some occasions when we went “huh”.

Let’s begin with the always comical Donald Trump. We waited with great anticipation to see if he would actually put his name in the hat as a candidate. But we waited more hopefully that the carcass of the dead animal on his head would fall off. Instead he supported Gingrich, and was critical of Romney. In the end, of course, he supported Romney while challenging the President to “reveal” his college transcripts, offering him money to do so. One of the original “birthers”, he continues to show his ignorance with every word he speaks. I just don’t understand why anyone wants to give him air time.

There was Rick Perry, the governor of Texas. Unlike the last governor of Texas who ran for President, he apparently had not given up “demon rum”. In one of the debates he either had a mental synapse, or he was under the influence.

Newt Gingrich was funny. He tried to be aligned with every group to which he spoke, only to embarrass himself. He attempted to use the verbiage and dialect of every area in which he campaigned. It didn’t work. Did he really believe that America would rally behind his candidacy when his own party ex-communicated him?

The Herman Cain farce was almost more than I could stand. I had to laugh at him, but I really wanted to see him stoned. We discovered he was another Clarence Thomas, sexually harassing his employees. His ridiculous ideas and position on the issues made me wonder if he had his skin dyed so he appeared to be African American.

Rick Santorum was so Catholic the Pope feared for his Seat. For a while he was the Republican favorite. With his dutiful wife at his side, I expected to hear the score from “The Sound of Music” break out. Eventually his party realized he could not lead them to victory, and, as of today, he is basically forgotten.

My favorite was Michelle Bachmann. The woman with the crazy eyes, and an obviously “still in the closet” husband wanted to be your President. Even Sarah Palin showed more intelligence in front of the cameras than she did. I was truly disappointed when she won her state’s re-election by a very narrow margin.

And like most people, I almost forgot Ron Paul. He wasn’t funny, he was pitiful. He’ll most likely never give up, and he’ll never win. Personally, I like Mr. Paul. I think some of his ideas are reasonable, but so many are so far out there that he makes you wonder if he is a few bricks short of a stack. Telling his supporters that the United States should not have been involved in WWII confounds me.

Is there any wonder Romney became the Republican Party standard bearer? Now it’s his turn.

Maybe I’m the only one who saw it that way, but when an extremely wealthy businessman campaigns in “jeans” pulled up to his chest, I thought he was a caricature of himself. I assume he was trying to appeal to the “every day” man. If this is what he thought we wore, how we dressed daily, he simply proved how out of touch he is. When he pandered to every diversely interested crowd, I was amazed that his supporters were not smart enough to see how ridiculous he appeared to those of us who actually follow the candidates.

When he made the decision to select Paul Ryan as his running mate I thought to myself, “is he trying to alienate everyone but the TEA Party”? Ryan’s extreme budget ideas and position on women’s rights is so extreme it is laughable. I admit it wasn’t near the level of senility that made John McCain select “Caribou Barbie”, but it did seem a little as though he ingested his cyanide tablet.

When Romney was finally given a much valued endorsement by Donald Trump I was happy for him. Of course Mr. Obama was endorsed by General Colin Powell. Am I the only one who thought that being endorsed by an intelligent, well respected man with an impeccable background vs. a buffoon has an incredibly different effect on a candidate’s credibility? To add to Mr. Romney’s embarrassment, General Powell is, and says he always will be, a Republican. Utah, the Mormon state, witnessed the Salt Lake Tribune endorse President Obama and not their Mormon son Mitt Romney. They said he was “too extreme”.

During the final week of the campaign, Romney’s rallies were entertained by “Meat Loaf”. President Obama’s crowds were entertained by “The Boss”, Bruce Springsteen. I know I’m a man with a sick sense of humor, but I find that laughable. The only thing more ludicrous is if Ted Nugent had attempted to play his impotent guitar for the “Mittster”.

The funniest event of all was when Romney thought he was in an un-recorded meeting with financial contributors when he was actually on “Candid Camera”. He denounced half of America, and thought no one would ever know. Silly boy.

The least humorous aspect of the sorry Republican effort to attain the Presidency was Romney’s arrogance. He obviously did not believe that minorities and women could decide the election. He apparently believed that rich white men, opening up their huge checkbooks, would transport him into becoming the CEO of our country. Once again, “silly boy”.

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