Lindsay Lohan prisoner of booze, drugs and sharply opposite of Snooki

A prisoner and captor of her own making.

Lindsay-Lohan

It seems that nobody wants to recognize the elephant in the room when it comes to Lindsay Lohan and her apparent vices, so let’s get this straight once and for all. The beleaguered actress is not an alleged prisoner of booze, drugs and lack of self-control, her compulsion to her additions are a matter of court record, a matter of fact. The former child star is in a league of her own. And not withstanding harden criminals, she’s sharply opposite in contrast to just about everyone on the planet. Nevertheless, gossip addicts seem to never get tired of reading about her current bad girl behavior. She’s perhaps the worlds most infamous celebrity headline grabber as Lohan is never absent for even one day from media scrutiny. If she’s not appearing in a feature film or a guest star on television, she appearing in a U.S. court room. I would go as far as to say that Lohan’s vast experience with real-life drama should make her the idea actress to cast in a dramatic role. But as you know, that’s not the case with Lindsay. Why? Too much baggage. Now, according to TMZ, she’s jumping in the bed with Charlie Sheen, what a pair. I know she’s just playing a role in the sitcom “Anger Management,” but so close to home. What kind of serious acting do you think that part will engender. Recently I learned that Lindsay Lohan’s middle name is ‘Dee’, interesting as she is no Sandra Dee, especially if she is jumping into bed with Sheen, who many consider the Devil incarnate. And even though she named her clothing collection after Marylin Monroe’s birth-date, as she admires the 1950’s actress, she is no match for the sex siren.

It’s been reported she jumped on a private jet to make her LA court date, thanks to Mr. Pink the energy drink, who she posed for in October 2012 at their product launch. She reportedly got paid a cool $500K to go to Dubai and “do what she do do well girl!” Well now, good for her! Maybe she should stick to those highs instead of the other ones she’s been using and abusing.

Lindsay Lohan will play herself in the Anger Management episode, as a patient of Sheen’s therapist character. Not surprisingly she develops feelings for him. It wouldn’t be great TV otherwise would it? And of course there’s a bed scene! Apparently Lohan’s storyline is going to feature a lot of her own real life events regarding the law, even going as far as taking the mickey out of her partying and court appearances. Ha, that should be fun to watch. Can’t wait for it to come to New Zealand, if it ever does.

Just the other day, I heard someone say that Lohan reminded them of Snooki. Are you kidding me. They had to be smoking some powerful…, well you know, but what a lack of knowledge and insight. I’m not a Snooki fan by no stretch of the word, but I’m current enough with the news, that such a thought couldn’t be further from the truth. Snooki has taken positive steps to changing her life for the better. When is someone going to save Lindsay Lohan from herself? I mean seriously Lindsay, if you think Charlie Sheen will get you there, you couldn’t be more mistaken. He may have paid your tax liens, but seriously, really? Yours and his lives practically mimic each other. Learn from it, don’t flaming repeat it. Since 2007, Lindsay, has checked into rehab five times. I feel sorry for the girl, she is surrounded by enablers and deserves so much more. She is so talented; it’s such a waste of her best years to be struggling with her demons… still! Sources say that people in Lindsay Lohan’s inner circle are hopeful that this last trip will sober her up. I still maintain that 90 days is not long enough and I think it’s incredibly supportive of them to say “last trip,” I think they’re being optimistic, or naive.

Meanwhile Snooki, has a middle name of Elizabeth, and up until she became Mum, she also had the crown (hair bump) to go along with the royal name. Should her celebrity career continue to climb, so should her celebrity status and who knows, she may just earn enough to buy a crown. Snooki has turned her life around, sure it’s early, but she has taken steps towards making changes unlike Ms Lindsay Lohan.

Snooki has dropped 42 pounds; she dropped the first twenty pounds by breastfeeding, which got her motivated to get rid of the rest. She got Anthony Michael, celebrity personal trainer, to help her at the gym and with her diet. Now, what bothers me about this diet he put her on are his Express Meals. In other words, she didn’t have to cook, most celebrities don’t anyway. But a 1300 cal diet, using delivered express meals is not going to change bad eating habits anytime soon. Reportedly, she also goes to the gym at least four days a week, which of course contributed to the weight loss, as it should. Such discipline and order is obviously foreign language to Lohan. In a recent article published on the Perez Hilton website, Mike Lohan just about admits his daughter has no disciplined, as he claims her mother, who actually raised Lindsay, couldn’t even control herself, and therefore allowed her daughter to run out of control.

On the other hand, Snooki is a different story altogether. Upon further review, I like Snooki. She saw an opportunity and she made the most of it, catapulting her into celebrity status. Her now seven month old son, Lorenzo, has been baptized and on a Palm Sunday at that. She looked beautiful in the blue dress and her fiancée Jionni LaValle looked very dapper in his suit and tie. They took some self shots before the ceremony. Of course there were no surprises when it was reported that her BFF Jenni “JWoww” Farley has been chosen as Lorenzo’s Godmother. JWoww was there with her fiancee Roger Mathews, whom she met while filming Jersey Shore.

JWoww has nicknamed Snooki and Jionni’s son Lorenzo ‘chubby monkey.’ Here’s hoping that doesn’t initiate food issues for him later on down the track. She might like to change it to something a little more ‘endearing’ and might I say positive.

It doesn’t stop here for the 25 year old Jersey Shore Mum, she is now getting on with writing her pregnancy book. I don’t think Lohan could sit down long enough to read a book let alone write one.

Now, Lindsay came into fame as a child, whereas Snooki found stardom in her early twenties. I would say that maybe Lindsay should have a kid to grow up and face her demons, but I hesitate to guess that Snooki appears, and I do say appears, to have a better head on her shoulders. Here’s hoping eh?

Just think about it for a moment; last week, Lohan missed her scheduled flight to Los Angeles, despite having a court date, which required her to be in attendance. Would you call that having a good head on your shoulders? I’m serious. Have the excessive drugs, booze and nefarious behavior Lohan is known for blunted her ability to reason? Is she unable to think through the consequences of her actions? I mean, she must of know, missing court dates will engender an immediate bench warrant for her arrest.

No, I have to emphatically disagree with anyone who mentions Lohan and Snooki in the same sentence. Because not only are they sharply opposite spirits, but Snooki’s early days of booze at night, booze in the morning and booze at every break, no longer constrain the Reality T.V. star, as maturity has provided her escape. This is unfortunately not so for troubled Lindsay Lohan, as she remains to this day, both prisoner and captor of her own making, unlikely to mature any time soon.

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