Jessica Simpson Beaten By Kim Kardashian

A Chastity Belt To Keep Him Away

Jessica Simpson Beaten By Kim Kardashian

It’s a bit late and nobody probably cares but Jessica Simpson gave birth to a healthy boy today. Therefore officially waving the white flag, and stepping down from her reality show throne because Kim Kardashian has beaten Simpson at her own game. Kim was first, and Jessica comes in well…second?

However the fun can really begin now because the bidding war over the photo’s will begin. If Jessica will display the cunning that Kim has, when she wanted to sell the photos of her little one, we will see who is the victor. (Kardashian sent several baby photo’s to her friends. She waited, and waited and when one of her friends tried to sell the photo she knew they had taken the bait. Because the photos weren’t of North. Quite the plot twist. However will Jessica be able to duplicate this? Or doesn’t she need to do this because she has loyal friends?)

Jessica Simpson named her baby, in true odd ball celeb style: Ace Knute (pronounced Ka-nute) Johnson. The baby will join the family, which consists of fiance, Eric Johnson, and big sis Maxwell, who is now nearly 14 months old. It wasn’t a surprise to  the world at large that Jessica was going to have a baby boy because at one point during her pregnancy she blurted out:  “I never knew that a wiener could actually make me nauseous.” She then continued with, “Well, I guess I just told the whole world I’m having a boy!” Was she possibly trying to beat Kim Kardashian to it by coming out with the gender of the baby before she did? However in the end Simpson has been beaten by Kim Kardashian or rather North West.

Don’t you think it’s time Jessica Simpson went back on TV with her own reality show? This time we would get to see her new life as a mom and bride to be to Johnson. What kind of statements would she make now? Would it show that she had to grow up a bit? That she is no longer young and ignorant? Might we be able to hear another gem like: “Fish is chicken, right? Because the can said tuna, the chicken of the sea?”

Her fans are overjoyed that she was able to deliver the baby boy who was healthy, and void of complications. (The complications weren’t expected because she had a planned c-section.) Some of her fans commented:  “Jessica Simpson had a baby boy today and named him Ace, I’ll take ace over North!!” according to Annie Steinberg-Joachim. Tweeter user Esther added her two cents: “Ace was her maternal grandpa’s name.” Therefore explaining a bit why Jessica named her baby boy Ace Knut.

Tiffany however added what we are all thinking: “Now if Eric can leave Simpson alone for a bit, she can parent the two little ones and get back into shape without being pregnant for a third time!! If I were her, I would put on a chastity belt to keep him away from the lady parts!” In addition if Eric leaves her alone for a bit she can think about how she can beat Kim Kardashian next time. Maybe Ace Knute can start walking sooner?  Aaah, the possibilities are endless. For now Jessica has been beaten by Kim or rather North West. (Still a silly name, right?)

By Georgina Pijttersen

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3 Responses to "Jessica Simpson Beaten By Kim Kardashian"

  1. Deanna   July 1, 2013 at 3:24 am

    Wow sarcasm wow. Scheduled c section because her first was just under 10 lbs and very possibky Ace will be too. Jessica has given birth to the largest celeb baby last year for a very tiny woman. Jess doesn’t play the same game as Kim .. Kim’s game is porn.. Yeah something to be proud of..and she also carried full term or Jessica would have had Ace first. This article is meanness and sarcasm and sorry I took the time to read and worse yet to respond

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