If you have ever made love to someone you care about, you know the explosive energy which surrounds and envelopes you both. It is dynamic and clears the mind of all else…nothing exists but the two of you, your rapture and the sweet surrender of the moment. Sex is a powerful force which can be used to create not only intimacy, communication, depth and communion, but other humans as well. You could say it is a magical art which can open two people up to ‘receive a higher knowing’ of what is possible as a human and maybe even beyond. So what of sexual addiction? Recently, studies have claimed that sex-addiction is not a real thing, though sexual dis-empowerment…that’s another thing.
Researchers now say that sex is not an ‘actual’ addiction, dismissing it from the new edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s list of mental disorders. That seems like a healthy conclusion, no more pages to an already lengthy list of ‘proven’ addictions people can claim or be diagnosed with. So what is it that makes people crave sex so much – often times more than drugs and alcohol – if it isn’t an addiction? It makes me wonder if the same monitoring tests have been run on people who gamble, play video games and excessively eat? Could the draw be that very same experience we opened with? The almost primal need to find something we know exists?
What is Addiction?
What qualifies something as an addiction? Well, according to the dictionary an addiction is: the continued use of a mood-altering substance or behavior despite adverse consequences, or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors. According to these studies, it is a certain brain response has to be so high when exposed to the ‘substance’ in question. Comparisons were made in the study to other studies, related to cocaine and other highly addictive drugs. This is an interesting way to conclude something scientifically, comparing it to other studies – but I guess that’s what science does. The response to was “If our study can be replicated, these findings would represent a major challenge to existing theories of a sex ‘addiction.’ ” (By the way, the study was conducted on only 52 volunteers who claimed to have sexual addiction including 39 men and 13 women. I wonder if they are ‘the real addicts?’)
I suppose if the findings of these studies prove ‘correct’, we will have to re-write our definition on ‘addiction’, which might not be half bad. If we look at the way our society has begun to rely on addictions, diseases and disabilities in order to keep ourselves from really expressing who we truly are, then I think we could all agree that it is high-time to dump the labels of that which keeps us down and time instead, to redefine ourselves as who we were meant to be!
What have we become?
If we continue to hide behind sex, drugs and food and all other means of excuses as to why we aren’t able to express our unique personalities, then we will continue to suffer as an individual, a nation and a world. We have let the lists of illnesses lengthen to an unruly size. We have allowed those in power to do the things we disagree with while we sit around and medicate ourselves and claim disability Yet we have all heard stories of those born without limbs or who have been in disfiguring accidents who have risen above their condition and made a difference! We can all do this.
Perhaps we have let sexuality be named an addiction in this country because we do not know how to talk about it or express it appropriately and respectfully. Maybe we have degraded the potential of this very human and intimate act to such a degree that we are ashamed of how disconnected we have become. To claim sexual addiction is to admit the inability to deal with the impulses granted you as a human. Yes, it is a powerful force, as we all know. This is the force which brought each and everyone of us here and is slowly tearing each one of us apart because of our blatant misuse and disrespect of it.
Is it possible that we are really craving a return to the power this act has the potential to grant us, though no one has shown us the way? Our only teachers on the subject have been movies and magazine ads, all degrading the ultimate communion of the human experience.
Reclaiming sexual power
It is time to reclaim our sexual power and to cast aside the harmful version of sex which we have so causally displayed on our billboards and in our movies and magazines. Sex is not to be exploited, but honored as the energy which creates life – all of life. If we do not honor it then perhaps we invite disaster, we invite destruction, we invite pain and suffering in order to ‘even the scales’ to once again have balance. We do not wish such catastrophe on ourselves, do we?
When we reclaim the beauty and power of our own individual relationships with sex, we may indeed start a chain reaction allowing others, and finally all to do the same.
Women- do not let yourselves be degraded or cheapen yourselves through your actions and speech. Men- do not accept the ‘mindless sexual predator’ definition society has given you. People, friends – let us remember our true nature and express freely the beauty of the body and the soul through the pure love of self and the unwillingness to be seen as anything other than divine.
In the yogic and ancient Egyptian traditions, sex was known to be an act of inner alchemy, transmuting base desires into the potential union with divine forces. This is still the potential of each one of us today when we raise the bar on sexuality.
This is my challenge to every man and woman in the world. Sexual addiction may not be deemed ‘real’ by studies and those in the medical community, but sexual dis-empowerment is very real. Let us change this by changing our personal views and actions surround the subject of sex. May we recall within the cells of our bodies, the love which brought form to our beingness. Let the kiss, which contributed to our existence reignite in our minds and hearts and lead the way toward a more powerful version of sex and sexuality than we have before seen. Let us not create a sexual image of addiction and shame, but one of creative vision, inspiration and growth!
Written by: Stasia Bliss