We all know it, when someone does something kind, it makes you feel good inside and you want to somehow give back or recreate that experience for someone else. On the contrary, when someone does or says something intentionally unkind, different emotions are stirred – leaving you feeling the need to defend yourself or come back with some remark – at the very least having to find center in yourself once again. Why can’t we all just be kind? What if we looked at kindness as the new drug – because really, it can be.
When you are kind and loving, certain hormones are released in your body such as dopamine and oxytocin. Adrenaline can kick in when you are feeling that intense surge that comes from completion of or stepping into performing a good deed. So what makes people behave unkind, even mean to others? Especially to the ‘unseen’ over the internet – which seems to be more and more prevalent today? Perhaps the ‘screen’ which separates us from others faces in ‘real time’ keeps us from acknowledging these pseudo-names and frozen pictures with words attached as actual humans.
Have you ever received a Facebook message or email from someone who you haven’t seen or heard from in over 20 years? And then suddenly they are attacking your current way of life, telling you that you would some how be happier if you were doing what you ‘used to be doing’ instead of what you are doing now? Or something like this? I’ve heard stories of friends getting preached to on-line from people they went to school with in elementary school who found them on Facebook and now feel it their obligation and duty to ‘return them to the fold.’ These are extreme examples, but what about that ‘stupidity’ comment posted on your blog, article, Facebook page or YouTube post leaving you feeling a bit deflated, even though you know you were following your heart? And then there are the blatant car-driving disrespect of flipping the bird and screaming obscenities at ‘strangers’ for doing the best they can do in that particular moment given the ‘unknown’ circumstances to those who have berated them.
Wow. Kindness people. Kindness.
If nothing else, respect for another’s path means self-respect. The common phrase comes to mind – as you give, so you receive. In the East they call it karma, a response to an action you have performed in the past (immediate or distant)- directly from life with equal and opposite force. I can’t help but think of this idea when confronted with those behaving badly. Sometimes you see it happen and then think ‘they deserved it’, right? But is this thought also not kind?
Another, perhaps even more healing thought (for myself), which comes to mind when someone else is not holding up the ‘kindness’ card is to realize that they are giving me a chance not to react, to hold the space of love and kindness even when they clearly cannot. There cannot be a fight without two opposing views. Perhaps this is the world challenge to each of us at this time. To end all wars globally, we must start with the individual wars raged on a daily basis over the net and in person. We must stop taking things personally, even when seemingly directed at us, and instead realize that everyone is working through their own healing at this time on the planet.
What if, instead of ‘retaliating’ with defense, we sat in peace and gave love? What if we did this with our loved ones and enemies? What if we did this in foreign countries? Some would say that we would be over-taken with terrorist and violence, but would we? Perhaps there would be an uprising at first, but would it – could it – continue in the face of true loving kindness?
Everyone is addicted to something, whether it be drugs, television, sex, food, alcohol, cigarettes, Facebook, violence – you name it. I believe we are addicted to being unkind on the planet – and in order to find peace, we must become addicted to kindness like we have been addicted to anything else.
When kindness becomes the new drug – in young and old, male and female – no matter your race or religion, we will have peace. A bully cannot bully one who is unbully-able. Meanness cannot affect someone who is in only love. Love and kindness have been placed on the back burner of this reality in favor of so many other emotions including lust, greed, hunger, suffering, pain, desire, need and understanding that we have forgotten the true power of these strong feelings and ways of being – Love and Kindness. It is time to remember kindness – and take it like a medicine. This is one you cannot over-dose.
Written by: Stasia Bliss
Source – Life observation