It was a marriage that wags said would never last two minutes. Now 13 years later, the inevitable has happened. The fairy tale Hollywood superstar marriage is officially on the rocks. The Douglas – Zeta Jones union has been broken asunder. It appears that the first crack started when Michael Douglas was a bit too loose lipped about oral sex giving him cancer, and it sunk his marriage ship.
While the world was doubled over in metaphorical mirth back in June this year at Douglas’ assertion that his overindulging in the act of oral sex was what made him come down with the “Big C.” There can be no doubt that Mrs Douglas found it very amusing.
Given that Douglas is a self confessed sex addict, just like his poppa Kirk Douglas – also self admitted – his beautiful wife must have seen red when she heard Michael’s proclamation. In modern parlance, the 68 year-old star’s situation once the news was uttered was a classic “lose – lose.”
By the time that both Douglas and his rep attempted to insert a modicum of damage control, the press had already blown the news sky high. Medical experts waded in and gave their learned opinion on just how likely it was to get cancer from too much cunnilingus. Depending on which expert you read, it was either “a done deal” or very unlikely. At last count, the jury is still out on whether too much tongue is deadly or not.
But oral fixations aside, Michael Douglas seems to have proven that loose lips on the subject of oral sex can sink the good ship “marriage” quite effectively.
But all these “experts” are outside of the Douglas marital sheets. At home the temperature, after rising to a level that would have made Hell seem chilly, must have settled around Ice Station Zebra freezing. His 43 year-old movie star missus must have been beyond furious.
However you look at Douglas’ cancer explanation it would, in Catherine’s eyes at least, reflect badly on her. One the one hand, she knew about the fact that before they married, hubby was a swordsman of legendary, nay mythical proportions. But just because she was aware of it, she could have most certainly done without it being rubbed into her face.
On the other hand, Douglas, just like a naughty schoolboy, might have let one hell of a cat out of the bag. His blaming his cancer on too much oral sex could also be an admission that he and his famous “other-half” obviously did it a lot. Catherine Zeta Jones must have been seething. The only thing that could have been worse would have been the release of a sex tape showing the couple in action.
Who needs “tell-all” papers like the National Enquirer to spill the beans on your sex life when your husband willingly tells the world? There must have been immediate repercussions from the home front.
Not only did Catherine Zeta Jones have issues with bipolar disorder prior to Douglas’ remark, but she must have needed anger management guidance after the uproar his oral sex statement caused. What is amazing is that it has taken this long for the couple to “officially” have problems. Other articles about the Hollywood royal couple’s split have skirted around the obvious issue of Douglas’ “slip of the tongue.” Michael proved that your perfect marriage partner can forgive a lot. At least until your loose lips reveal too much information in the area of oral sex and it sinks your marriage.
By Michael Smith