Miley Cyrus Licking Her Way to Happiness

MIley Cyrus Licking Her Way to Happiness

You could be forgiven for thinking that Miley Cyrus has a tongue fetish. She is constantly waving the thing about as if it is purposefully attempting to escape from her mouth. But Miley’s tongue isn’t trying to escape, it is merely aiding the young pop star in her endeavour to lick her way to happiness.

We cannot take credit for being the first to notice that the 20 year-old ex-Hannah Montana girl always has her tongue out. It has been noticed by everyone. And not just in her video’s either, a lot of her pics are full of licks!

It almost looks like Miley Cyrus is trying to lick her way to happiness, either that or she is testing the wind direction sans finger.

MTV has done a photographic montage of Cyrus lapping at different objects and, in some cases, the air. In her latest video, We Can’t Stop, Miley shares an embrace with a very large and naked female doll. After giving the plastic figurine a soulful kiss, she then proceeds to run her tongue suggestively up the doll’s chin to its lips.

The MTV montage also included Miley licking the Video Music Awards Moonman, although, she doesn’t really make contact with the small astronaut figure clutching its little MTV flag. We are sure there is some sort of subliminal message behind this Instagram picture, and as soon as we figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.

There is the other Instagram picture of Miley crouched in front of a huge pink teddy bear. She has hold of its sides and she is aiming for that teddy chin with her tongue at the ready. It appears to be a repeat of the doll in the pool, but in this instance the teddy bear is a bit more lively. The poor thing has its arms raised in possible horror.

After all, teddy doesn’t know Miley that well!

MTV have even posted a meme of Miley attempting to lick their reporter. Said reporter looks surprised then somewhat pleased and happy, presumably because Miley missed? Or that Miley found her at least as interesting as the gigantic Barbie doll or the giant pink teddy.

Of course there is the picture of boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s penile birthday cake, which the the polite way of saying that it was a giant p****! Miley, still looking a lot like her prior alter-ego Hannah Montana, has that tongue out again in the picture!

If the moms who are still fans of Miley’s Disney image of the squeakier than squeaky clean Hannah Montana saw that picture they would have fainted!

The real answer may be quite simple. The late David Niven used to tell a story about how one morning when he was in his mid to late twenties, he woke to find that his tongue was in the way of everything. Breathing, eating, speaking etc all became difficult.

Alarmed he went to his doctor. The GP checked and assured the young Mr Niven that there was nothing wrong at all with his tongue. When Niven asked why it suddenly felt so different, the doctor replied, “Although you’re a bit old for this type of thing, you’ve just suddenly – in your twenties – become aware of your tongue.”

Niven was presented with the doctors bill and assured that the sensation would go away after a day or two.

It looks to us as though Miley Cyrus has just become aware of her tongue and that she can use it to lick anything and everything. While she seems to be licking her way to happiness, this will most likely wear off soon and she will become aware of some other part of her body. Twerking anyone?

By Michael Smith
United Kingdom

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2 Responses to "Miley Cyrus Licking Her Way to Happiness"

  1. Steven Janiszdewski   August 25, 2013 at 1:07 am

    Child abuse is bad. Sometimes, the system is worse.
    People v. Leiby: A Documentary—Jury Verdict Reversed With Directions To Acquit—Insufficient evidence of Child Abuse
    http://www.amazon.com/People-Leiby-Documentary-Acquit-Insufficient-ebook/dp/B00D73X69O

    Reply

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