Iran Plans to Send Persian Cat Into Space

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In a run-up to their attempt to send a man into space by 2020, Iran (formerly known as Persia) has plans to send a Persian cat there first, whether or not it wants to go.

The Russians started the wave of sending animals into space by launching man’s best friend, a dog named Laika, into the dark reaches of infinity and beyond. Laika became the first animal ever to orbit our planet, and ironically, there were cats up there to chase at the time.

Iranian scientists have claimed that they already sent a monkey into space. That might not be the truth, as a different monkey seemed to be at the press conference to celebrate the achievement. Their first attempt at sending a monkey into space ended in failure in September 2011.

Now, the Iranians have moved up the evolutionary scratching post to select a higher order of creature, the feline.

It is rumored that the Iranians eventually want to send enough cats into space to deal with all of the cheese-hungry rodents eating craters out of the moon.

Their little round heads with squashed-in faces might fit into the same sort of helmet the monkey used, with a few, if any, adjustments necessary.

The Persian might just suffer some minor side-effects upon its return to the Earth, like the dreaded permanent helmet-head condition, where the cat’s head fur is a matted mess. Definitely not the “Right Stuff.”

Persian cats are known for the breed’s occasional breathing problems, and for the fact that they are sometimes weepers. That might prove to be a problem, as their are no decongestants in space, and if scenes of the cat are beamed back to the Earth, kids might not want to see a crying cat. It might be enough to discourage them from becoming future astronauts in Iran’s space program.

The Persian would be transported into space via Iran’s Kavoshgar satellite carrier. According to Iran’s top space official, the mission is planned for sometime in March of next year.

PETA has expressed its outrage over the whole affair, calling it a major cat-astrophe.

Ben Williamson, a spokesman for PETA, called Iran’s plan to send a cat into space an “archaic experiment” like those of Russia and the United States in the 1950s.
He added that today, there are “superior, more scientific non-animal methods of study” available.

It was 2009 when Iran successfully put their first satellite into orbit. Since then, their space program has been sending animals into space right and left, such as turtles, worms, and a rat.

Western governments believe Iran’s space program might really be c cover-up for developing the technology needed to make and launch a nuclear warhead. though Iranian officials deny that is their intent.

The Cat Fanciers’ Association states that America’s most popular breed of feline is the Persian.

In space, it may be true that no one can hear you scream, but if Iran is successful in sending a Persian cat into space, you might a cat meow.

 

Written by: Douglas Cobb

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3 Responses to "Iran Plans to Send Persian Cat Into Space"

  1. LauRoman   September 23, 2013 at 7:52 am

    Why does that cat look like it’s in a stracraft terran marine armor?

    Reply
  2. douglascobb   September 18, 2013 at 10:18 am

    I suppose that if Iran’s goal really is “scientific discovery” rather than exploring old ground and possibly mainly to be able to more accurately launch nuclear warheads, then you may be right. Still, choosing a cat of any sort is an unusual choice to send into space, and I am far from the only person to think so, as you might be able to tell if you’ve read any other articles about this subject, and/or listened to talk show hosts on the TV.

    Reply
  3. Higgs   September 18, 2013 at 4:17 am

    What is funny about this? We must encourage scientific discovery. Good for IRan. Maybe our youth can also learn and start engaging in scoence.

    Reply

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