Kim and Kanye: Parents of the Year Tour

Kim and Kanye in Paris

Kim Kardashian is burning up the tabloids with her over the pond cavorting while leaving her three-month-old at home. It’s the Kim and Kanye: Parents of the Year Tour and it features a travesty in Givenchy; a thigh high skirt, blond streaks and a break from motherhood. No worries, baby North Star is her screen saver.

So far, there have been no sightings of egregious behavior by Kanye West. Parisians report no paparazzi beat downs or filthy sidewalk tirades. He appears cool as a cucumber sitting front row at all the Paris Fashion Week shows including Givenchy with Kimmy at his side Sunday night.

It was a travesty for Givenchy the fashion house. No doubt Count Hubert, for whom the house is named, has taken to his bed with a cold compress across his forehead. There is only so much an 86-year-old can take after all. The man is famous for dressing the likes of Audrey Hepburn and Jackie Kennedy. He clothed the entire Kennedy clan for the president’s funeral. “Mon Dieu,” he no doubt wailed at the site of Kim K proudly boasting the brand.

The black dress she wore ringside on Sunday featured her only two assets bursting forth and threatening to explode from the mesh top and peplum skirt. Kanye wore his customary scowl.

Kim gushed to Us Weekly that she was so sad to be away from her baby.

But just like all mothers, Kim K thinks Paris Fashion Week is a must and breastfeeding can wait. After all it’s only a seven-hour plane ride and there’s a host of nannies, right? The baby is three months old. She can Skype, right?

Kim is a working mother after all. There is tweeting to do. First up: Twitter- thanks to Givenchy creative master Ricardo Tisci and reporting to the world that her summer tan in a can is still fresh. To her adoring fans, she tweeted, “#Givenchy4lifebaby.” No. Please no.

There’s the family Christmas special to film, complete with a holiday-festooned home. There are so many parties to attend now that Kanye has actually elevated her status on the ladder of social climbing. A girl can’t buy that kind of publicity. She’s tried.

There is no need to worry. Baby North is at home with Grandma Kris Jenner. She is being fed between cocktails and business calls. It’s not that anyone who has birthed a baby doesn’t think the new mom may need a break and some pampering. Sorry—more pampering. It’s just that leaving little North across the pond while mom and dad go on the Kim and Kanye: Parents of the Year Tour is kind of sad.

Imagine her little face pressed up against the glass, waving goodbye to her devoted parents as a nanny pulls her away and she begins to cry.

Don’t worry darling. Can’t you hear her parents? There is important work to do in the world. We have to provide for you, for our family. And the only way to accomplish that is to buy new clothes in Paris. Someday you’ll understand.

Paris Fashion Week lasts a few more days. As soon as they finish the Kim and Kanye: Best Parents Ever Tour, they return home for more photos.

By: Linda Torkelson