No matter if you are stuck in rush hour, having a fight with someone you love, giving birth to a child or frustrated in the check-out line, there are always at least three things you can do to win in said situation. That’s right, always. No matter what, there is never a time too bleak or too hopeless that these three amazing tactics will not work, they are miraculous. As long as you can truly follow through and embody all three, you will come out a winner every time, no matter what.
What are these three amazing techniques, sure to make you a winner every time? Well, I’ll tell you – but you have to promise to pass them along when they are successful for you.
1- Look at the Positive side of the situation – there always is one.
No matter what, there is always something positive, a silver lining – if you want to call it – occurring within whatever is happening. Your task is to find it and make it bigger than the perceived problem. I like to ask myself “what is perfect about this situation?” And then be real about the answer. If you are stuck in traffic, you may find that you have time for a few, silent deep breaths, a humming meditation, or the opportunity to notice all the other humans out there in the same plight as you. In a fight with a loved one, you get the opportunity to see what issues are surfacing now that can be healed, so that they are no longer like sores under the skin. Arguments, when taken as such, are pivotal moments in the growth of relationships. They can take us higher to a place of greater insight and revelation, or they can destroy us, it is all up to the way we perceive them. If we choose not to take the fight personally, but instead allow it to help us ‘see’ better where the other is coming from, miracles can happen.
In childbirth, even in excruciating pain, one can always know that a new being is entering the scene. A woman is embodying a new level of empowerment and tapping previously unknown potential by stepping through this powerful process. Even in the event of a perceived tragedy, say if the baby is lost, the bright side of lessons learned, closeness in family members achieved and experiences had can be encouraging enough to move one forward to the next level of reality.
In a check-out line or anywhere else where you feel frustration due to being in a hurry or feeling unvalued, you can always attempt to see that something must be playing out in such a way that you get to where you are going just slightly later than anticipated, or that you are made to feel this emotion because it will serve you at some later date. Strength is being cultivated and opportunities are created in which you can choose to rise to the top and see the humor, the simplicity and possibility present, or not. One whose character is strong can do this with ease and gratitude.
2- Let Go
In every case stated above, as well as any other situation that may arise in life, no matter what – we can always let go. Letting go of attachments to outcomes and expectations is always a positive step in allowing for the unfolding of life. Even though we each have preferences as to how we would like something to go – when we are able to let go into what is happening, we have the potential of both seeing experiencing something greater than we, ourselves, could possibly create. Sometimes we have no choice but to just let go, but often, we resist such an option and hold onto judgment, bitter emotions and ‘what could have been’s long past the actual happening.
Letting go gifts everyone with the opportunity to experience the grace of life unfolding. In traffic, we can realize we have no control, it is what it is. If we are somehow ‘let go’ from our job because of our tardiness this day imparticular, well, perhaps life has another opportunity awaiting us, just around this car-strewn corner -something better. During childbirth, letting go is the only way to truly get through the intensity and find strength, for what is required of us is beyond our regular human capabilities and can only be discovered through releasing the idea that we some how know what to do.
In the check-out line, on the bus, in a class-room full of fuss, when we let go and simply observe the happenings we are able to become the witness of them, uninvolved and impartial – which detaches us from the need to become emotional and distraught, no matter the outcome. In the middle of a fight with anyone, especially our most intimate companion, letting go takes true humility and courage. It is a noble thing to release the need to be right simply to allow peace into the equation. Who cares if they are spouting atrocities? The question is, are you participating? And if so, why? In the ability to let go, we allow the angry words to pass away and love to begin to flow again, finding joy replacing sorrow and forgiveness battling for home.
3- Find Rhythm
This is my favorite step. No matter what is occurring in reality, both within you and what you perceive to be ‘outside’ of you, there is always opportunity to either recognize or create rhythm. Another way of saying this is to listen for harmony, make a beat, strike up a song, sing. Harmony and rhythm cancel out every fear, every tension, every misunderstanding almost instantly. No one can resist grooving to the beat of a good song, even in the midst of possible war and misconduct. Try it next time you are in a fight, just start singing, clap your hands and whistle, turn on a good tune, you will be amazed. Maybe we ought to give our soldiers instruments instead of weapons and see what happens.
When in an uncomfortable situation, the best way to ‘win’ and create harmony and connection for all is to start a beat, make a rhythm, hum, sing, do something where others naturally feel obliged to join in joyfully. Human nature loves rhythm. Unity is based on many parts coming together for a common cause. What is more common than music, what is more natural than harmony?
No matter what is occurring in life, including an intolerable screaming child or a fire burning down the home of your childhood in front of your eyes, there are always these three things you can do to feel like you win. Looking at the positive, letting go and finding rhythm will save you every time and turn every sour note into the sweet song of appreciation. I promise. If you don’t believe me, try it. And – pass it on!
This is one of my favorite songs by a Portland conscious musician singing about step number two – Letting Go – I think it’s time!
Written by: Stasia Bliss