American Music Awards…the title and thought of it excite me. First, because I love music, although I admit I sometimes wonder who are these new stars that I never even heard of them before. When friends and relatives try to discuss them with me, I haven’t the faintest idea who they’re referring to and have to go and look them up.
Oh, her, I’ll say. Like the one to the far right, whose name I already forgot, because she scared me! Her ashen hair, swept upward so drastically, has receded the hairline and the forehead expanded some 12 inches right before my eyes, vertically and horizontally! Look at the size of it; it’s like a platter. “What the…heck…?” Lovely black gown, but who did her hair? If you turn her upside down, her wide forehead and bristly fur could pass for a dust pan with brush.
Man-o-man, am I in for a treat tonight! Let me get the popcorn.
The American Music Awards excite me also because I like the glamour; that Hollywood bling-bling and stylish flair that’s been around since…who knows when really, the early 1900’s, maybe. Of all the eras and dance-moves that have passed through Hollywood, I found the Charleston and jazz-music to be the most intriguing. The women, elegant as could be, wore sequins, too. They also wore their hair short and set in finger-waves. But rarely, if ever did you see them with their breasts and other private body parts busting out, over gowns too snug for the body, unless she was one of the hussies of that day. The reasonable women of those times are probably rolling over in their graves, over the boldness and dare of some of the women of today.
Oh yeah, and sometimes the performances, too. I enjoy watching those during the American Music Awards, for the show covers all genres, but House. House music is best left for the club scene, the underground and other music fests, where the DJ’s can really shine in the booths in their own creative and talented way.
Mostly though, I enjoy the American Music Awards because I love to read people. I’m a people-watcher. I enjoy staring at celebrities long enough to draw the conclusion that many of these “stars” are nothing more than troubled, fake, uptight creatures with new wealth. They want you to think who they are when they themselves hardly know that answer yet.
Did you see Pitbull? The Cuban artist sizzles; he’s so hot! He’s kind of petite; I never realized it until tonight. But that hairless head of his, perfectly round and plump as a shiny white bowling ball. From a distance, it made it seem it was a gargantuan pimple between his collar bones, a big pus-filled pimple. I had to grab my eyeglasses and rush them to my eyes to get a better look and make sure I wasn’t seeing him in some sort of bazaar costume.
Marc Anthony, to me, he looked unkempt. What was that red and black flannel shirt jacket top he wore tonight? He, in blue jeans also, seemed like he had just gotten back from a farm somewhere, appearing all withered and malnutritioned as he went up to receive his award.Then there was the brief sermon he gave us, something about the living dead. Man, he should start practicing what he preached.
Adrianna Grande, of Victorious on Nickelodeon, in that long, red sequence Mermaid dress of hers. Gosh, who picked that gown out for her? I couldn’t stop laughing as I watched her try to hurry up the stage stairs and that she couldn’t. No leg room inside that dress. She had stepped up, one foot, at a time, and quickly as possible! She looked ridiculous. She pulled a note from inside her bra that her mom wrote for her so that she doesn’t leave anyone out of the acknowledgements. Mom’s note should have read, “Sorry, honey, I should have been more honest with you and told you how embarrassing you look in that old lady dress, tonight.”
Rihanna, oh, Rihanna. Remarkable, that she wasn’t late to this show. Oh yeah, that’s because her mom would be the one handing her the Iconic award and she made sure that the singer keeps to her scheduled appointment this time! Good going, Mom, for whatever it’s worth.
Taylor Swift should have never borrowed her little cousin’s dress tonight. The glittery tube thingy made it seems she was too tall for it and she seemingly appeared to be all legs and short torso. Her hair was brassy, straggly and flat on the forehead told me that she licked the palm of her hand a few times and hand-stroked those thick bang down over her eyes.
Jennifer Lopez, I have to say put on a phenomenal performance, much like Celia Cruz one did. The artist might have finally discovered her new role and purpose in life. Everybody, meet the reincarnated, Celia Cruz.
Got to love it: the American Music Awards 2013 show, and all the Barbie-look-alikes. The thought of wanting-to-be-her that hurried there tonight to make her fashion statements. Except, I have just learned that Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus are coming up shortly. I am outta here! Lady Gaga makes me gag. Miley Cyrus and her foot-long tongue and swing on her weird wrecking ball, has just wrecked the American Music Awards for me.
By Christina L. Ibbotson