Rob Ford Losing His Buzz

Toronto mayor may seek treatment for substance abuse

Rob Ford shakes hands with the Hamburgler
Some say he has connections to organized crime…some say he’s gone looney.

Rob Ford may be losing his buzz. The belligerent crack-smoking mayor of Toronto is considering undergoing treatment for substance abuse, The Globe and Mail reported this morning.

Toronto City Councillor Doug Ford, the mayor’s brother, suggested that the mayor go on vacation for a week or two, lose weight, and stay clean. Councillor Ford argued that many politicians across Canada have drinking problems worse than his brother’s, but did not specify who.

According to the Edmonton Journal, Toronto City Hall has been made into a bizarre sideshow this week. Among the throng were a man dressed in a giant banana suit pushing a cart full of fruit to promote healthier eating habits, and two former professional wrestlers. The Iron Sheik was there to challenge Ford to an arm-wrestling contest–Ford was victorious against Hulk Hogan earlier this year. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake was also in attendance, but was ejected from City Hall for carrying his signature prop shears.

Thursday’s media scrum saw Ford apologizing for his murderous rant that recently surfaced on video. Avid Ford supporters were mixed in with the media scrum, one of whom shouted “Rob Ford for prime minister!”, drawing a raucous response.

Ford blew kisses at reporters–an odd gesture, considering his past scuffles with the media–and he closed his speech with “God bless the people of Toronto,” which drew laughter from all around.

If you haven’t been following the latest Rob Ford news, here is the gist of it:

In May, a video of Mayor Ford smoking crack surfaced, but he long denied the existence of this video.

In the months that followed, reports of Ford’s previous drunken stupors began to surface, as did evidence of him consorting with drug dealers.

On October 31, Toronto chief of police Bill Blair confirmed the existence of the crack-smoking video.

On Sunday November 3, Ford appeared on his weekly radio show and apologized for ‘making mistakes’, but stated that he plans to continue serving as mayor of Toronto and running for re-election in 2014.

On Tuesday November 5, Ford admitted that he smoked crack, but stressed that he was not an addict. “Have I tried it?” he asked himself. “Probably in one of my drunken stupors, probably approximately about a year ago.”

Late night comedians had a heyday after this revelation, and the internet has been buzzing over Rob Ford non-stop,

The Daily Show’s John Stewart: “Am I a crack user? No, I’m a social crack user. When I drink, yes sometimes I smoke a little crack, it’s how I am.”

Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report: “On the bright side, he is personally taking crack off the streets of Toronto.” He later produced a small glass pipe and smoked from it on stage. He quipped: “Rob Ford can’t change the past, he can’t even remember the past. I mean what part of ‘drunken stupor’ does the media not understand?”

Jimmy Kimmel Live featured a video segment titled “How to tell if your mayor is smoking crack,” which spliced past footage of Ford’s most bumbling moments. Kimmel also suggested that Chris Farley has been reincarnated as Mayor of Toronto.

Some jokes took the same basic form: a comedian makes an incredulous expression while explaining that Ford’s best excuse for smoking crack was that he was drunk.

Things only got worse: on Thursday November 7, another video of the Mayor came to light. In this video, Ford is in an agitated stupor, pacing around, shadow-boxing, and threatening violence, laden with expletives.

In the somewhat terrifying video, Ford shouts: “I’m going to kill that f—ing guy, I’m telling you, it’s first degree murder.” And also: “I need f—ing ten minutes to make sure he’s dead.” And: “I am a sick motherf—er, dude.”

Ford was unusually stoic in front of reporters on Thursday, moments after The Star released the video. “It’s extremely embarrassing…the whole world’s going to see that. I don’t have a problem with that.” He would not say who he was talking to in the video, and perhaps he does not even remember.

“I hope none of you have ever or will ever be in that state,” he added.

While Mayor Ford may be seeking treatment, it is unlikely that he will be losing the buzz in the media any time soon.

By K. Elsner

Macleans

Edmonton Journal

The Globe and Mail

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