Having sex with someone is supposed to be one of the most vulnerable moments anyone will ever share. However, we are now so into technology that, according to a study conducted in the United Kingdom by condom kingpin Durex, there are at least five percent of Britons who admit to checking social media or texting someone while having sex. This marks a not so strange trend that seems to be more common with each person that is asked.
Over 15 percent of people in the UK say they would answer a phone or text someone while having sex. This figure would explain why people seem to be having less sex. A decade ago, people said they were having sex at least 6.3 times a month on average. Now, that number is hovering at around 4.8. Given how plugged in society has become, it is a wonder that any of us are able to have sex at all.
Some scientists think that society has become far more open about sex, and we spend so much time talking about it that we do not actually get around to having it. Also, we are inundated daily with sexualized images – women, couples getting intimate, people cuddling on a range of social media sites – that we are over stimulated with it, so we never actually get around to doing it. There are also those who say that they just need to know what is going on.
How did we get into a world where it is not so strange to have sex while texting or checking social media? Are we so desperate to be numbed that we disconnect in the handiest way possible – by hitting our smartphones or other technology simply to stay abreast of our world as we know it. However, we fail to realize there are ways to use the technology to improve our sex lives. There are now apps where you can transform your phone into a vibrator available for both iPhone and Android, for instance, and with society’s access to porn and sexualized images, it should take no time to enjoy yourself without a status update.
We do not need to know what our Facebook friends are doing every second of every day. When we are with our partner and are intimate, that should be our focus, not our eggs or restaurants or cafes. It is incredibly discouraging to think this is now a world where we are so absorbed with technology that we must text others and check and see how life is on social media while having sex. What’s next? An Instagram image of you having sex with your lover?
Sex is, and should be, an incredibly special, intimate moment with just the two of you. There should not be a driving urge to check email when you are in the heat of the moment, and it should not be the time where you think about texting your girlfriend about your next coffee date. It’s a deeply personal, intimate moment – even with a one-night stand, you are sharing of yourself with another person, and it is likely one of the times in your life where you will be most vulnerable. It is not the time to update your status.
While it may not be strange that some people are having sex while texting or updating their social media status, it is important to remember why you are having sex to begin with. It was about the moment, and no amount of technology should interfere with that, ever.
By Christina St-Jean