Bullies have been around for eons and harassing whomever they please as it builds up their ego, while tearing apart another person’s confidence. People who have suffered through this unwarranted assault quite possibly will still have the residual effects in their personality all the way to middle age. Depression, anxiety, and suicidal tendencies seem to dog the one who was bullied regardless of what manner or form they were subjected to. This is something that has been going on long enough and it is time to let us raze bullying to the ground.
Physical bullying is horrible to endure to say the least. However outward scars heal within time. It is the verbal and emotional bullying that most likely leaves people in shambles, afraid to lift up their head for fear of being spit upon both figuratively and literally. This fear is coupled with insecurity of themselves and distrust of others. It is the inner scars that take the longest time to heal and that is if the one who was bullied desires to be healed from the wounds they received so viciously. Girls that were bullied when they were children attempt to kill themselves more often by the time they are 25 years old. Boys on the other hand, were more likely to deal with a variety of anxiety disorders. Little girls growing up before they begin any type of schooling desperately need to know they are loved by their father most of all. That is why they love to play tea party with their father and play princess dress up. They need to know how valuable and pretty they are in order to grow up properly and be secure in themselves no matter what someone else says to them.
For little boys on the other hand, it is football, wrestling, race cars, mud, snakes, and fishing times with their father that allows them to be secure in themselves. Mothers as well, play an important role in loving and teaching her children between right and wrong, especially when interacting with other kids. It is a well-known fact that children who grow up in a broken home or dysfunctional family setting usually suffer depression and anxiety. So to alleviate their personal pain, they typically look for and zoom on in the child that is considered a loner or outcast by their peers and torments that child to the Nth degree. So instead of dealing with one angry child, there are two, struggling to survive even the simplest of daily living and the other needing to get their fix in order to make themselves feel superior.
Researchers found out that adults who were victims of bullying whether occasionally or daily, found that they had a continual higher level of stress even though the bullying took place decades ago. What is more disturbing is that victims of bullying were either separated or divorced from their spouse. Another group of researchers, this time from the British National Child Development Study, revealed that boys and girls who were bullied when they were younger stood a greater risk to commit suicide by age 45. This study went on to show that they had a lower I.Q. and stood a far greater risk of not having a job and had a bleak outlook on their life as to where it had come from and to where it was going.
Bullies are victims themselves who try desperately to get out of and from under the cycle of victimization that ruthlessly keeps them in bondage. One of the keys to limiting this wretched disease is intervention. That intervention begins in the home with the child’s parents. Children want their parents to both “be” and “do.” Be their parents and not necessarily their best buddy. Be willing to be there when the time is needed. Be willing to listen without being judgmental. Equally important is “Do.” Do lay the law down when they have crossed the line. Kids want to know what their boundaries are, even though outwardly they fight tooth and nail. Do have time set aside for them alone, like getting french fries from McDonald’s. Do let them be kids who will make mistakes. Do be understanding as they go through many emotional ups and downs. Do pray with them and for them. Do be strong, yet willing to show weakness through humility. Do not fake it, they will see through a con. The Bible has this to say about raising kids up right: Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it. The evidence is in and the jury is back from deliberations, bullying begins and ends in the home by the way the children are raised.
Opinion by John Thomas
Complete Jewish Version of the Bible (Printed)