Jill Duggar Will Go From One Man Controlling Her Sexuality to Another

Jill Duggar Will From One Man Controlling Her Sexuality to Another

Jill Duggar, the reality television star from the show 19 Kids and Counting on TLC will soon go from one man, her father, controlling her sexuality, to another: her new fiancé Derick Dillard. Duggar met Dillard over Skype after being introduced to each other by her father. Dillard used to be prayer partners with Duggar’s dad, who thought his daughter and Dillard would make a good match.

In extremist households like the Duggar’s the men often take it upon themselves to control the women’s sexuality and how that sexuality is allowed to be expressed. Duggar will not be allowed to kiss Dillard until their wedding day because she has been brainwashed by her fundamentalist Christian parents to think of sex as unnatural outside of marriage instead of the normal, natural and healthy expression is in when undertaken in any loving relationship.

In a new book called Growing Up Duggar, some of the Duggar’s gaggle of 19 children state that sex outside of marriage is wrong. “It’s easy to put yourself into physical and moral danger and give into those emotions or sensual thoughts that promise pleasant, but only temporary, fulfillment,” they say. According to their rationale, all relationships in which the couple is not married are unfulfilled; an assertion which is not backed by any actual evidence.

Interestingly, the boys and men in these types of fundamentalist Christian families don’t seem to have the same obsession with “purity” as do the females. They are content to control women by brainwashing them with negative messages about sex. Now, Jill Duggar will go from one man controlling her sexuality to another.

Duggar’s father Jim Bob personally controlled the decision about who his daughter would marry, and hand-picked Dillard for his daughter, further cementing the reality that her sexual choices are fully within his jurisdiction of power rather than hers. Since she is not even allowed to kiss Dillard until her wedding day, she currently has no idea whether or not the two have sexual chemistry together.

In the fundamentalist Christian tradition known as the “Quiverfull” movement, women are treated as no more than baby-making machines, and they have zero choice over their own reproductive desires. They are convinced that it is their very purpose to keep popping out as many babies as possible without regard for how many babies they may have wanted had they not had the misfortune of being born into a family that views women as nothing more than incubators.

An online blogger who was raised in a fundamentalist Christian household says she was taught that women’s sexuality was inherently unclean but at the same time, that childbearing was her only real reason for existing. “I grew up with a mix of ignorance and shame about sexuality that was no accident,” she writes. She also learned that “women’s sexuality and reproduction (is) inherently unclean at the same time that this is considered a big part of their purpose in life. And there’s the attitude we keep coming up against everywhere – women are dirty whores who should just be making babies.”

In an editorial for the Daily Beast, author Amanda Marcotte says that the Quiverfull movement is all about men controlling women completely and that women in these types of families are not even allowed to seek higher education. Marcotte says the movement is focused on “absolute female submission, a ban on dating, homeschooling, a rejection of higher education for women, and shunning of contraception in favor of trying to have as many children as humanly possible.” In these kinds of families, the man is the absolute patriarch while the woman is fully expected to submit to him.

Thus, Jill Duggar will go from one man controlling her sexuality to another, and will never know the personal freedom that other women enjoy—freedom which should be granted to all people: the right to control their own bodies, sexuality and reproductive choices without being brainwashed and controlled by a male patriarch, whether that be a father or a husband. So, while Duggar is all smiles in the photos of her and her new fiancé who her father selected for her, deep down, she may feel a justified sadness; the sadness that comes with knowing her life never was and never will be fully her own.

Opinion By: Rebecca Savastio

Sources:

Daily Mail

Feministing

The Daily Beast

44 Responses to "Jill Duggar Will Go From One Man Controlling Her Sexuality to Another"

  1. Meaghen Powers   February 20, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    The way the Duggars live is not true Christianity and not based on the Bible. Jesus never taught for Dad’s to select their adult children spouses or to decide the career paths or control dates of their adult Children. The Duggars treat their adult children like they are preteens/teenagers. I am a 29 single Catholic educated female and I work and yes I believe in God and believe Sex is for marriage; however, I was raised in a household and in Church community that believes marriage is 50/50 takes both male and female to make marriage successful, children are a Gift from the Lord, but most Catholics have between 2-3 kids not 19 like the Duggars. Also, most Catholic women in North America work or have some education/business and are not living like the Duggars.

    Most Catholic women wear pants, some go to College/University, most work either part-time or full time and few Catholic women I know are submissive housewives, most Catholics date one on one before they marry, kiss before they marry and yes many have premarital sex and are still practicing Catholics because they believe God can forgive sins and adult life is about making choices/decisions and we believe although a mortal sin we all fall short of the Glory of God and are in need of a Saviour Jesus Christ and that Jesus Christ can forgive premarital sex. For the Duggars even kissing before marriage is considered wrong, which Biblically it isn’t only sex before marriage is.

    The Duggars are obsessed with keeping their children chaste/virgins for their wedding night, that is sick. They do not allow wedding receptions/dancing or any form of alcohol at weddings which is so unbiblical considering Jesus changed water into wine at a wedding himself and danced with guests. Basically the whole focus of a Duggar wedding, is to get married, toast with a rootbeer float, take some pictures, then get into the car to head to consummate the marriage. These couples go from doing nothing not even kissing, holding hands, spending any time alone together, to full on intercourse over a course of a couple hours, that’s sick and wrong. I am sorry I cannot even imagine marrying the first guy I kissed, there is nothing special about saving your first kiss ever for your wedding day as the Duggars claim. The point of dating is to discover if there is Chemistry, to get to know each other one on one, to get to know each other families, to experience things alone together as a couple without family or friends involved, to work on boundaries together- the couple not parents must decide what is appropriate and what isn’t appropriate in a relationship, the couple should spend as much time they can together before deciding to marry.The point of dating is not corrupting the soul but to discover if you are truly soulmates and should marry or not.

    The Duggars are not true Christians, in the Bible God gave humans free will and parents do not have authority over legally aged/adult children, parents only have spiritual authority over under-aged children. Jesus also came to Save not Condemn the world and the Duggars condemn everyone who doesn’t follow or believe in their Quiverful lifestyle. If Jill was my daughter and she was under 18 years of age and still in High School you bet as a Catholic I’d be supervising her and discouraging serious dating and premarital sex, but I couldn’t do that to my 23/24 year old daughter. Because adults are responsible for their own sin and decisions they make, and they are not children/teenagers to be told what they can or cannot do.

    I think it is sad that JIm Bob would not allow Jill to go to nursing school, what type of a father does not want his daughter to go to College, an idiotic one!!!!! Most dads are happy and proud when their daughters get to go to College and are even more proud when they graduate and work in fields they love. This has nothing to do with supporting or not supporting premarital sex, this has to do with how cult like and demeaning the Duggar family is towards their adult children.

    Anyways the Duggars lifestyle has nothing to do with Christianity or their relationship with Jesus Christ.

    Reply
  2. Sherry   October 7, 2014 at 10:24 am

    EVERYONE will have their answers one day. I find most of the above comments absolutely disgusting. Why is everyone soooo interested in what one family is doing? Is there not more news worthy topics out there for people to write about? All this behaviour of tearing people down because they don’t fall within the “norm” is childish! God (yes, I believe!) demands absolute faith in him and that is exactly what they are doing. And guess what…they have raised THE MOST respectful, happy, well rounded children I have seen. They don’t throw hissy fits when they don’t get the newest phone. They don’t DEMAND their parents pay for the latest and greatest! Instead they are building a servants heart and giving/serving others and WITH A SMILE AND A THANK YOU. I seriously fear for the younger generations nowadays. Their sense of entitlement is preparing them to fail in anything they do. I think a lot of people young and old could learn a lot from families like this! I can’t wait for the rapture (many of you will have to look that one up) because the world we live in makes me ill

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth   October 4, 2014 at 8:25 am

    HOW SAD is it that nowadays the “normal” IS to be having sex before marriage…. The author is ludicrous enough to say that people must test their sexual chemistry before getting married… That is what is wrong with this world…. everything is about sex and not about God… God wants what is best for all of us, that is why He clearly states to stay abstinent and flee from all sexual sin… That’s why our world is the way that it is! And it’s only going to get worse and worse.

    Reply
    • vardarac   October 5, 2014 at 9:20 am

      You and the secular world will never see eye to eye because you believe there is a God and we do not.

      Reply
  4. Ruth Brown   September 19, 2014 at 6:35 am

    God bless jill in marriage I have been married for 20 years we are very happy

    Reply
  5. sheila   September 3, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    How long were they engaged b4 getting married.? These girls r so suppressed that when they do get married it’s right to having babies,! Don’t they want to wait and get to no each other first? I hear Jill is already pregnant how long was she married b4 this happened. Does her husband have a job how will they make a living? Do her parents work and how do they make a living.

    Reply
  6. KJ   September 2, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    You are obviously one unhappy person for writing this. Get a different hobby than criticizing someone else’s life choices.

    Reply
    • Thomas Martin   September 22, 2014 at 2:08 pm

      it obviously was not her life choice. It’s her parents’, especially her father’s.

      Reply
  7. A   September 1, 2014 at 4:45 am

    How does anyone outside a woman herself control her sexuality? Suggesting that her life is ‘less’ than a woman who goes to College for the sole purpose of partying and sleeping with many men, while calling that ‘higher education’ is not so educated. Yes… all caring can overstep into controlling, like a mother who refuses to let their child eat sweets or overeat or lack exercise and fresh air, and … ? You will see these woman making decisions for themselves like Jana not marrying … yet… or never and some having less than 20 children or not, they are not needing our approval. That’s self esteem if you ask me. Not just giving into social norms. Bravo! What a beautiful family.

    Reply
  8. Lexi   August 12, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    I fully agree with saving yourself for the right man. I was 38 years when I got married my husband was my first and like wise he made a decision in his teens to save himself for the right person. We are still together and will be celebrating our 12 year wedding anniversary . My mum was the same with my Dad. This is how it should be. One sexually partner. God bless Jill may your marriage reigns. Looking forward to hearing about the beautiful babies God is going to bless you with.

    Reply
  9. maria   June 24, 2014 at 11:41 am

    It seemed to me while watching the show that jill rushed into this relationship to get out of her life at home. Seeing that jessa began a courtship and it only being a matter of time before she married as well. I feel like she didn’t want to be left behind. It seems as derick and his family aren’t as suppresive as the duggars. So hopefully jill will be able to challenge herself academically in her new life because she is a very smart girl.

    Reply
    • Surly   August 27, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      Yeah but her dad should not be choosing her mate and he should not be in her business. He is too close to those girls physically and it is kind of weird.

      There is nothing wrong with kissing and hand holding before marriage.

      And does he go on the date with the boys? I would want my boys to be pure too.

      Too many double standards in this family.

      Reply
  10. L bailey   June 23, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    Wow! Most of this is made up lies. You either haven’t watched the show, or you have completely twisted the facts. Awful story!

    Reply
  11. Terry Clark   June 22, 2014 at 1:34 pm

    I totally agree with the author of this article. This family concentrates on breeding and more breeding. God’s army they refer to it as? These kids are raising kids their brothers and sisters. Why can’t the parents do this instead of shifting it onto the siblings? And arranged marriages yes The jimbob can’t get it from his wifey as she was banged up most of the time. Probably have the kids are gay as well. Kids just want to escape this cultist family and whom would blame them. I have seen dogs treated better than these girls in third world countries. Hopefully TLC will give them the boot once and for all. No tv in home but all the kids have iphones and are connected via twitter, facebook and instagram. WTF they are a dangerous cultist family I hope the kids tell them to FOAD and get their own lives

    Reply
  12. Sage   June 22, 2014 at 6:16 am

    You should be fired! What a complete fool with foolish talk!

    Reply
  13. Sara Schneider   June 20, 2014 at 4:03 pm

    This is ridiculous. She is in ultimate control of her sexuality. Always has been, always will be.

    Reply
  14. Eliza   June 13, 2014 at 3:47 pm

    Finally I`ve seen the logical conclusion of women being `submissive` , stop them being higher educated.

    Reply
  15. Rae   June 6, 2014 at 11:05 am

    You can have sexual chemistry with someone when you get married. Then, with all of life’s trials, tribulations, challenges, that chemistry can dry right on up. What then? No more marriage? I’m not saying I agree with how the Duggars’ go about everything, but I am saying that your article doesn’t at all guarantee depth or a lasting relationship.

    Reply
    • vardarac   October 5, 2014 at 9:19 am

      Here’s a crazy thought: Don’t get married unless you really want a family, or you have good personal chemistry (especially under duress), or both.

      Reply
  16. Jeff   June 5, 2014 at 5:30 am

    “sexual chemistry”, what a pathetic foundation for a lasting covenant relationship.

    It’s interesting that you’ve invented your own formula for what produces meaningful relationships, while condemning the Duggars for having their own formula…why is yours any better than theirs? The difference is that the Duggars’ formula is based on wisdom from God’s Word. I trust God’s wisdom much more than I trust yours or my own, because…he’s God. We loves me and wants what’s best for me, and you.

    Reply
  17. lyna   June 4, 2014 at 8:34 pm

    I wont call you any names but you are very ignorant to the way these children not just girls were raised. They have chosen their spouses and they alone have chosen to keep their hearts and bodies pure. Sure the parents together advised them. But what is wrong with waiting. When i was their age all we worried aboit was pregnancy. Now there is so much more. If you would do a little watching of the show you would see that it has nothing to do with this so called movement. Before you bash all Christians, just know this we are not all like the so called fundamentalists who only want to control everything. Most of us just do as Christ said to do…Love One Another.

    Reply
  18. Linda Gilbert   June 4, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    Our society can learn from the Duggars’, where there is values and morals in their family. Our society has neither of these. I pray that my grandchildren are taught these values.

    Reply
  19. del   June 3, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    Rebecca you don’t have to agree with how Christians live. Unfortunately you have probably experienced the pain of handling intimate relationships in an unwise way. The Duggars are taking relationships seriously. The world can definitely learn from them. Del

    Reply
  20. Dave   May 27, 2014 at 6:05 am

    Your an idiot. Because a father wants the best for his daughter he is controlling her sexuality. Sex outside of marriage is wrong. I bet the Duggars kids never get divorced because they hold true to their morals

    Reply
  21. Marjorie Miller   May 10, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    Why smear the Duggars’ standards? The chances are pretty great that neither Jill nor Jessa will ever get divorced but, instead, know the close and loving marriage experienced by their parents. And with no regrets.

    Reply
  22. Kim   May 9, 2014 at 9:52 pm

    “normal, natural and healthy expression is in when undertaken in any loving relationship.”

    “Normal” is relative. Just because something is the norm doesn’t automatically make it right, or the only right choice. Im not disagreeing with the general gist of your article — I definitely think the Quiverfull movement is controlling and pretty gross. But someone isn’t wrong just because they wait until a certain point in their relationship to have sex or live together.

    Reply
  23. Kim   May 8, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    Wow Hannah, I think your heart just shrivelled a little more just writing this rebuttal..To put others before yourself is about kindness and giving, how is that bad? In a society where “Me, Me,I, I ” are all that you hear how is that bad?Besides the slight fact if they are happy living in such a selfless way why should you be concerned for them. Is that not their business and their personal choice. And when they lost a baby, Michelle did show sadness.. guess you missed that episode?And so the girls choosing to be a midwife also is continuing to limit them…..honey, please educate yourself on those you choose to berate, yes that was condescending in case it confuses you. A father that is involved in his kids life is a patriarch? Wow we need more of those then……..

    Reply
  24. Patsy   May 8, 2014 at 1:13 pm

    And, exactly what is wrong with wanting your kids to wait until marriage to have sex? Some of the arguments are laughable…#1-what if they are sexually incompatable?-seriously? They will figure out the sex part within the safety of marriage, and not the unstableness of a dating relationship. #2-They must be brainwashed, otherwise why would they chose to be abstinent?-Wow….believe it or not, human beings are capable of making a conscious choice about sex, instead of acting like sex crazed animals. #3-only fundamentalist Christians believe in sexual purity-Really? pretty much every religion believes in abstinence before marriage. It’s funny how people are all about “choice” unless you choose to be a mother and a wife first, and choose to devote yourself to you family. Obviously, if you make those choices, you must be brainwashed or brain dead. So much for choice.

    Reply
  25. Beverly Noble   May 8, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    We all know God is everywhere but I personally disagree that aall a young girl needs is guidance and support from both parents and not be forced to make baby after baby just because the man says so. These girls must figure it out before they get stuck.

    Reply
  26. Kate   May 8, 2014 at 11:30 am

    Although they seem like a loving family, there is no free will. We had free will in my family and were guided to make good choices which put others first. Without true free will, one is not really living. I believe it is brainwashing, family pressure and a lack of options which put these girls in positions where they have no other option but to repeat the exact choice of their parents.

    When you read the role of women on the IBLP website (the Duggars “church) it will make you cringe, laugh and then puke. It is akin to emotional and physically slavery. Keep in mind their leader/founder was just charged with sexual abuse of a minor.

    Here’s a snippet from their website “How to meet your husbands needs”:

    A wife is never supposed to “take over.”

    In response to pressures within the family or within a marital relationship, a foolish wife will take matters into her own hands. When you intrude into one area of responsibility, even with the “good” motive of meeting urgent needs, your husband will most likely surrender other responsibilities as well. Initially, it may appear that you succeed in fulfilling responsibilities that should be carried out by your husband. However, in the long run, the decision to usurp or ignore your husband’s responsibility to meet those needs will do much more harm than good. (See Proverbs 14:1.)

    Reply
  27. Amy B.   May 8, 2014 at 8:54 am

    As an adult woman who chose to engage in intimate relationships before marriage, I see Jill Duggar and my heart aches because I wish that I had waited like she is doing. SO MUCH heart ache comes from giving yourself away to men who don’t really care about you. Heart aches comes from giving yourself away to men who actually DO care about you – for the moment, but aren’t committed for the long haul.

    Our current culture LIES to women, suggesting that sexuality and sleeping around is empowering, and that SEX is a reflection of LOVE. This is not true. Every time a women (or girl) sleeps with a man, she hands some of her power over to him. When she keeps herself for marriage, the woman retains the power because she has not given herself emotionally. Please think long and hard about the damage you are doing to women by perpetuating the lie that sex is somehow a right, an empowerment, a freedom – sex outside of the commitment of marriage creates heartache and emotional chains while giving away a woman’s control of her body and future to a man who may or may not be committed.

    Don’t you realize that the harder you have to work for something the more it is appreciated. Women, please, make men work for you because you are valuable – don’t sell yourselves short. You are so much more than sex!!

    Reply
    • vardarac   October 5, 2014 at 8:51 am

      Marriage is not a commitment, it is merely a symbol of one. There is no guarantee that the symbol is a reflection of character sufficient to maintain that which it supposed to represent; no, not even if you THINK it is a good person you are marrying.

      The fact of the matter is, if you are having sex and you get over-attached to your partner, THEN sex outside of marriage is probably not for you; but think how much worse off you will be if you get married and your partner, who is supposed to “love you” and “be committed to you for the long haul” cheats on you. It happened in my own family; the only reason it didn’t destroy it is because I never told anyone about the evidence I found.

      The problem is overattachment, overreliance, wanting to control the needs and whims of another person. The only time this makes sense is when there is a child to be raised; it is otherwise no more than a most-likely vain agreement between two people to own one another.

      I did not wait, and I do not regret it.

      Reply
  28. Julia   May 8, 2014 at 8:53 am

    Jim Bob may have introduced Jill and Derick, but if you watch the recent episodes, you will learn that the ultimate decision about whether they start courting is up to Jill. Jim Bob has to give his blessing for Derick to be able to ask her, but she is still able to say no even if her dad thinks there might be a possibility of a courtship there. The girl actually holds more power in these relationships because if they get engaged, the girl can break it off at ANY TIME while the guy can only do so if the girl cheats on him.

    In regards to the concern about Derick being just another Jim Bob, it is more likely that Derick will encourage Jill to expand her abilities rather than holding her to the same standards that she has experienced growing up. Derick did grow up in a conservative Bapist family, but he is not a fundamentalist and was actually unfamilar with their dating customs (he refrains from physically interacting with Jill in certain ways because he is respecting her wishes, not because it’s how HE was raised). He’s been to a public 4 year university (Oklahoma State), was involved in many clubs and activities there (such as being the mascot Pistol Pete) and has seen and experienced many worldly and, for lack of a better word, “normal” things that members of the ATI never have. The girls in his family wear pants, wear their hair the way they want, and have gone to public school.

    Lastly, Jill and her sister Jessa have been open about the fact that it’s their decision what boundaries they have within their courtships. Jessa said that the reason for this was because if they themselves don’t believe the rules, they arent going to follow them.

    The boundaries are also not the same for all families in the ATI. For example, their friends the Bates have 2 married children, one engaged child and a courting child, and while the two married children held off from kissing, full-frontal-hugging, and holding hands during courtship, their engaged daughter definitely full-frontal-hugged her now fiance before they were engaged.

    While it may be true that the Duggar girls feel pressured to keep certain boundaries, such as no heavy kissing and no sexual activity, things like hugging, hand-holding, and even light pecks on the ARE up to them. I disagree with a lot of Jim Bob’s behavior, but I have no doubt that Derick will be a loving and supportive hsuband to Jill.

    Reply
  29. Thomas Aq   May 8, 2014 at 8:17 am

    My wife didn’t believe in sex until marriage. We’ve been married over 20 years and have 3 kids. I was with a woman before my wife and I regret it (emotional baggage). My wife told my daughters what her beliefs are about per-marital sex and it is still up-in-the-air on whether they will hold to them or not but it looks like they will.

    I guess I can understand why you would object to women who decide to remain pure before marriage. It must be upsetting to women who aren’t pure because women who are pure are more valued than those who aren’t. Kind of like how a new car is more valued than an old, used car.

    But making everything else in the world ugly doesn’t make one more beautiful, does it?

    Reply
    • Zazu22   May 8, 2014 at 8:48 am

      Did you really just compare a woman to a car? Wow, that’s insane.

      Reply
      • Kim   May 8, 2014 at 5:52 pm

        I think that wa pretty accurate Thomas Aq.

        Reply
        • vardarac   October 5, 2014 at 9:11 am

          Then that speaks to the deficiency of both your characters.

          Reply
  30. Leslie   May 8, 2014 at 7:46 am

    Just so that you are aware, it is not only “fundamentalist” Christians who believe that sexual intercourse before marriage is wrong; it is all Bible-believing Christians, many of whom come from mainstream Christian denominations (Presbyterian, Lutheran, Baptist – General Conference, etc.). I do not agree that women are “only good” for having babies, but there is nothing wrong with abstinence before marriage.

    Reply
  31. marian hand   May 8, 2014 at 6:50 am

    Who cares what you think? This is a choice and religious freedom and all its tenets are a freedom in USA, not a referendum.

    Reply
    • thar   May 9, 2014 at 7:25 am

      Exactly. It’s okay to be a liberal, or to endorse any OTHER lifestyle that meets with the author’s stamp of approval, but God forbid purity, Christianity, conservatism, etc. This couple and their families have the right to live their lives any way they want. To think that they are being mocked for abstaining, commitment to purity, etc., says so much about the warped society we live in. LIVE AND LET LIVE ALREADY, for ALL groups, not just certain groups.

      Reply
  32. Ashley Johnson   May 8, 2014 at 6:10 am

    You’ have got to be kidding me. Maybe if there were more women like Jilluggar wwould not have so many single welfare Mothers in this country, and children growing up never know their Father, or even who their Father is. What a dispicable article! You should be ashamed!

    Reply
  33. Hannah   May 8, 2014 at 6:06 am

    The fact that showing any other emotion than happiness, is considered a rebellion against your parents and God, doesn’t help matters either. They are expected to have smile plastered on their faces at all times, regardless of what they are feeling. Remember their motto, JOY. Jesus first. Others next. Yourself last. They are so brainwashed and enmeshed. I wish that just one of those kids would escape and have the opportunity to live a life of their choosing, rather than the one that their uneducated, egomaniac Father chooses for them. It’s sad and it disgusts me that TLC candy coats the fact that the Duggars are part of what is considered a Christian cult and that there are people who admire these parents as upholding some amazing moral standard, instead of seeing Jim Bob as a patriarchal, controlling, misogynist and Michelle as the brainwashed, baby machine who is happy for her daughters to be the same.

    Reply
    • antmh1   May 9, 2014 at 12:33 pm

      Speaking of brainwashing, gotta love the liberals tossing their own Kool-Aid (brainwash buzz words like “misogynist”) around, in attempts to silence the rights of others. Seriously, if you truly knew anything about Christian beliefs regarding “happiness”, then you’d know that is the last thing Christians worry about showing. That’s because happiness is exernal and entirely dependent on what is occurring AROUND us (verses spiritual joy, which is internal and prevails in all circumstances, because of the one who lives IN us.) So yes, JOY comes first. And just because you don’t ascribe to the Duggars’ views on family size, male and female roles, etc., doesn’t mean your views are RIGHT. They’re only right for YOU. Here’s a word you might learn to be objective about…tolerance.

      Reply
      • vardarac   October 5, 2014 at 8:56 am

        It’s interesting to me that the Christians on this board are screaming tolerance and waving their persecution complexes around while in the same breath crying about how modern lifestyles different to their own are wrong or won’t work as well, because they think they speak for God Himself.

        Give me a break! When you can actually show the humility requested of you in the Bible and stop representing your opinions as facts for all to recognize, people will be more tolerant of you!

        Reply

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