The end of the week is finally here and with it, the Friday night episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Fallon’s guests this Friday were the terrific actor, Bradley Cooper, who talked about his role as Joseph Merrick in “The Elephant Man” on Broadway, among other topics. Fallon also played an exciting game of Egg Russian Roulette with Cooper. The second guest of the show, who was also the musical guest, was the legendary singer, Neil Diamond!
Jimmy Fallon warmly welcomed his studio audience, who gave him a standing ovation as he walked onto the stage. Then, he began his monologue, making jokes about events and people in the news. Here are a few of the jokes (paraphrased) from his monologue:
“Here’s what’s in the news. It was announced that the head of the TSA is stepping down after more than 4 years on the job. The TSA’s chief, John Pistol, announced that he is stepping down. The person taking his place will have some pretty big shoes to fill.”
“In an effort to compete with HBO, CBS is offering viewers the chance to stream their shows on smartphones and their computers. Or, as CBS viewers refer to them as, a ‘huh?’ and a’what?'”
Jimmy Fallon then showed a ukulele from YouTube that started out sweetly and degenerated into swearing. It was pretty funny.
“There are rumors that a musical version of ‘Frozen’ is coming to Broadway — as opposed to an off-off Broadway version that has been going on in the back seats off cars across America.”
Then, Jimmy Fallon did his Tonight Show Superlatives comedy bit, showing football players on cards and saying what they were “Most Likely” to be or do. Fallon spoke fairly rapidly — it was a humorous bit, but loses something without being able to see the photos of the football players as Fallon joked about them.
At his desk, Jimmy Fallon announced that Neil Diamond would be one of his guests tonight. He then showed photos of himself on vacation with his dad when he was a boy, faked photos of both of them at locations like the Taj Mahal, the Eiffel Tower and the Giza Pyramid of Egypt.
Jimmy Fallon then did his weekly “Thank You Notes” comedy segment. “Thank you, apple picking, or as couples call it, ‘Our last chance to make it work.'”
“Thank you, Pentagon, for naming our mission against ISIS ‘Inherent Resolve.’ It sounds more like a Lifetime movie about Gwyneth Paltrow’s divorce.”
“Thank you, Smarties, for being the perfect antidote for when I’ve eaten too many Dum Dums.”
“Thank you, contact lenses, for making it seem perfectly normal when my wife peels off her eyeballs right before going to sleep.”
“Please welcome back a talented man, Mr. Bradley Cooper,” Jimmy Fallon said. “I love you so much — they love you. I want to talk about “The Elephant Man,” but first I want to ask you about this visor on your head in this photo,” Fallon said, They both put on visors with funky hair attached to them.
Fallon talked about a commercial Bradley Cooper did supporting his football team, the Eagles. They went on to defeat the Giants. The owner of the Eagles asked him to do the spot. “But, then I realized I did it for Dallas, for Greenbay, for…” He said, naming off other NFL teams.
Still wearing the visors and wigs, Jimmy Fallon talked with Cooper about “The Elephant Man” and how it “is a tricky play.” Cooper said he did a lot of research for the part. They both kept cracking up at how silly each other looked.
“This is based on a true story — Fallon began, cracking up again when he looked towards Cooper. He could not get a sentence out, for laughing so much.
“I don’t know how to do this, but we have to do it,” Fallon said. “Maybe when we take the hats off — ” They both removed their visors and wigs and still cracked each other up.
“His name was Joseph Merrick,” Cooper said, “but, the doctor didn’t even get his name right, calling him ‘John Merrick.'”
“I want to challenge you to a game,” Fallon said. “A game of Russian Roulette.” Cooper accepted the challenge, and the Tonight Show went to another commercial break.
Announcer Steve Higgins explained the rules of the game to each of them. They had 12 eggs, six of which were raw, and six that were hard-boiled. They had to take turns hitting themselves on their head with the eggs. The person who got two raw eggs smashed on his head first would lose. The first ones each chose were hard-boiled ones. They were getting pretty lucky, until…Jimmy Fallon smashed his forehead with the first raw egg. Higgins said “The yolk’s on you!”
Bradley Cooper chose an egg and also hit his forehead with a raw one, getting the yolk all over the place. Fallon then chose — it was a hard-boiled one.
The tension was mounting — they were both tied. Bradley chose another hard-boiled egg. With three eggs left in his carton, Fallon also picked a hard-boiled egg.
They each grabbed an egg and smashed one on the opposing player’s head. They were the last two eggs, both raw, so the game ended in a tie.
After the Tonight Show returned from a commercial break, Jimmy Fallon introduced Neil Diamond. His latest album, Melody Road, will be in stores this October 21.
“The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is big, but this is the big time,” Neil Diamond said.
“You have written some of the best songs ever,” Fallon said, listing off several of Diamond’s hit songs like I’m a Believer and Sweet Caroline.
“One story about the song is that it’s about Caroline Kennedy,”
“No, it was kind of about my wife. I needed a name with three syllables and chose Caroline,” he said. “Now, the cat’s out of the bag.”
“And, Diamond is your real name,” Fallon said.
“Yes, it is,” Diamond answered.
Neil Diamond said he thought of changing his name to Ice Cherry. Jimmy Fallon said that name sounded like a drag queen’s name from downtown. Then, the Tonight Show went to another commercial break.
When the show came back, Neil Diamond sang a song off of his upcoming album, Melody Road, called Something Blue. He sounded great, as usual, his voice still the same magnificent voice he has always had. He held the audience in the palms of his hands as he sang. Melody Road will be Neil Diamond’s 32nd album.
Written By Douglas Cobb