The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon continued the feast of having wonderful guests tonight during Thanksgiving week, with Fallon’s guests, right-wing political pundit and author Bill O’Reilly and Lorde, who also performed one of her hit songs from Pure Heroine. As always, Tonight Show announcer Steve Higgins was funny, and the house band, The Roots, were terrific.
Jimmy Fallon began the Tonight Show by welcoming his audience to this Tuesday night show, and then he began his monologue. Some paraphrased jokes follow:
“Everyone’s on edge about Ferguson, Missouri — but don’t worry. Your Facebook friends have all the answers,” Jimmy Fallon quipped.
“I saw yesterday that President Obama gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Meryl Streep,” Jimmy Fallon said. He showed a clip of Obama at the event, saying “Her husband knows I love her, my wife knows I love her, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it,'”
“A lot of people will probably go to the movies this weekend to see The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1. 28 people now have named their daughters Katniss Everdeen.”
“Parts of the Great Lakes are already covered with ice,” Jimmy Fallon continued. “Make sure to send the kids you like the least out first to try out the ice.”
“I heard that the mayor of Seattle pardoned a tofu turkey last week. It was strange when he said ‘Now, fly away!'” Fallon mimed throwing a platter of tofu turkey into the air.
Then, Tonight Show host Jimmy Fallon made a couple of jokes about how Starbucks has supposedly become a family, a home-way-from-home. “I thought this was nice. A church in Chicago gave their regular members $500 each to do something nice for the holidays.”
“Tomorrow night, Christopher Walken and Iggy Azalea will be here,” Jimmy Fallon said. “On Thursday, Whoopi Goldberg and Rashida Jones will be here! Tonight, Bill O’Reilly will be here, author of Killing Patton! Also, Lorde is stopping by! Not the Lord, but Lorde. Yellow Flicker Beat is her new jam. She was on our show when she was 16 or something…and, now she’s 17.”
“Now, it’s time for Pros & Cons. Tonight, we’ll be talking about the Pros & Cons of Thanksgiving. Pro: It’s a time when families come together. Con: It’s a time when families realize why they’re usually apart. Pro: Watching a parade of giant gas-filled balloons. Con: They’re members of your extended family. Pro: Honey-glazed hams. Con: Everything reminds me of Kim Kardashian’s butt. Pro: One more slice of pie won’t kill you. Con: That’s what they told Uncle Jeff. We don’t talk about…Uncle Jeff. Pro: You got a leg, a thigh, a little part of the breast. Con: So did I in college. Pro: Hearing your uncle say ‘Pull my finger.’ Con: Your uncle is Jose Canseco.”
When The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon came back from the first break of the night, he asked the audience if they had ever seen anything on TV that was “accidentally funny.” He then showed some humorous “Screen grabs.”
One was about an invitation to a dinner where they were serving “lump crap cakes.” Steve Higgins said “It was the number 2 special on the menu.” He cracked Fallon up talking about “stool samples.”
Another one was also from a menu, featuring “1/2 pound Anus Burgers.” Higgins said “I can’t do a whole pound — that’s just too much.”
Higgins said “I know — we’re running behind. I’ll just go by the back door and—” Jimmy could not help but laugh.
Somebody sent in a photo of a person she thought looked like Fallon, and Jimmy put on a long shaggy wig to try to see the resemblance better. Then, he looked a lot like the Russian in the photo. After that, the Tonight Show went to another commercial break.
Bill O’Reilly was Fallon’s first guest when The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon returned. “Our next guest has his 13th best seller on the New York Times list with his latest book, Killing Patton. Ladies and gentlemen, Bill O’Reilly.”
Fallon asked him about Ferguson. Bill O’Reilly said “You have to accept it. That’s our system. Then, there’s the African Americans — not all of them, but some of them. You don’t burn down stores. The prosecutor believed it was a fair verdict is why he had it announced it during prime time, so that everybody could hear the verdict.”
“Do you get into controversies with your family during Thanksgiving?” Jimmy Fallon asked him.
“No, that’s not allowed,” O’Reilly said. He told Fallon that when he was young, he was grateful to have turkey for thanksgiving, as it was a special meal. He said he was not picky, like some kids today, about food.
“You’re currently on tour with Dennis Miller?” Fallon asked.
“Yes, we’re at Caesar’s Palace now — sold out. I interviewed President Obama three times. I give the inside information about what I talked to him and others about when the cameras go off. Miller makes Edgar Allan Poe seem like Mother Teresa.”
“Congratulations on another number one book. I don’t know all that much about Patton…” Fallon said.
“I wrote it because we need a leader,’ O’Reilly answered. “Patton was a guy who told it like it was. After WWII, Patton wanted to go after the Soviets while we had our troops in Europe. He gets smashed by a truck on a clear day. No autopsies were performed. He was put into a grave. I think that Stalin got Patton with a clear poison. We have the documentation. I’m not a conspiracy-minded kind of guy.”
“Have a good Thanksgiving,” Fallon told him. “It’s good to see you.” The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon went to, yes, another commercial break.
“Our next guest is a three-time Grammy winner, whose music is in The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1. Ladies and gentlemen, Lorde!” Bill O’Reilly had stayed, and he shook her hand as she sat down.
“Does your family call you Lorde?”
“Are you serious? They call me Ella (her actual name is Ella Maria Lani Yelich-O’Connor.”
“When you first sang Royals, people told you it wouldn’t fit on the radio. How did you get it out there?”
“I liked it. It was literally the demo.”
“And now you’ve won three Grammys.”
She talked to Jimmy Fallon about being awestruck at meeting so many famous people at various awards shows. Taylor Swift even sent her flowers to congratulate her.
“She’s really funny, and people don’t expect it. Her humor is really dry.” Lorde talked about sitting with Taylor at a table at a party. Somebody pointed at Lorde, and asked Taylor “Is this person your manager?” Lorde said that Swift said “Yes, she is.”
Lorde told Fallon she did it, the album, without really knowing what she was doing. she made it in about two-and-a-half months. She said she will be performing a song from The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 after the commercial break, Yellow Flicker Beat.
It sounded so great! Lorde gave an electrifying performance of the song. It just might be her best song since Royals. She got very energetic, as she often does when she performs live, shaking her head around, getting her hair tousled. Lorde gave a tour de force performance of the song.
“That’s how you do it!” Fallon said, then the Tonight Show went to more commercials. That was, effectively, the end of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
Though there were just two guests on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon tonight, they were pretty great ones. Bill O’Reilly definitely has his own viewpoint about many political issues, but his book about Patton, Killing Patton, sounded like it is a very interesting book. Then, the amazing Lorde was Jimmy’s second guest, and she talked about her friendship with Taylor Swift and sang Yellow Flicker Beat from The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1. One more day until Turkey Day, folks! Woo-Hoo!
Written By Douglas Cobb