The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon was great tonight, the start of Thanksgiving week, with Fallon’s guests Tim Allen, who competed in a Turkey Scooter Race with Jimmy, and musician will.i.am. The musical guest of the Tonight Show was Dej Loaf, who performed with the house band, The Roots. Though Jimmy Fallon raced Tim Allen riding Turkey Scooters, this week will not have any episodes that are “turkeys.”
Host of the Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon, began the show by standing outside of 30 Rock and turning on the new Tonight Show marquee sign for the first time. Then, he warmly welcomed his audience and launched into this nightly monologue, joking about people and events in the headlines of today. Some of the jokes, paraphrased, follow.
“Defense Secretary, Chuck Hagel, resigned today after criticism of often contradictory statements he made. At which point, Vice President Biden overheard and also started packing.”
“Over the weekend, President Obama played Derek Jeter golf. Jeter enjoyed listening to what it’s like to be the President, and Obama enjoyed listening to what it’s like to be retired.”
“PETA is asking President Obama’s daughters to go vegan for Thanksgiving,” Fallon said. Then, he talked about the turkeys presidents have “pardoned,” and the bad ways their lives have turned out since then.
“Last week, Colorado approved the first credit union that uses marijuana as credit. So, if you think the wait in your line is slow…”
At his desk, Jimmy Fallon said that Apple is partnering with Project Red. All proceeds will go to fighting AIDS. “We turned our computer red to support this great cause,” Fallon said. “Bill O’Reilly will be here, and Iggy Azalea will be here,” he said. Then, Fallon announced the great lineup tonight, and mentioned he will be in a Turkey Scooter Race against Tim Allen.
“Guys, it’s November. Christmas is only a month away. Everybody likes getting a good book. Here’s my latest installment of my ‘Do Not Read’ list. These books are actually real. The first book is The Disadvantages of Being Dead. Then, there’s Motorcycles for Beginners, by Jeff Carless — his actual name. The next book is Raising Your Cats: A Complete Illustrated Guide. Cats shown on the book’s front looked as if they were fighting.
“Here’s another pet book — sort of a pet book. It’s Painting Pets on Rocks.”
“The next one might be too exciting — Bottles in Canada. You’re very lucky to be seeing this,” Fallon said. The last book was The Muffin Muncher, about a dragon who likes to munch muffins, apparently.
When the Tonight Show returned from a commercial break, Jimmy Fallon introduced the first guest of the show, from Last Man Standing, comedian Tim Allen.
Jimmy Fallon asked him how he was doing and offered him water. Tim said he went to “see the Radio City Rockettes” earlier.
Fallon asked him if it was true his name was “actually Tim Dick.” He said that it was true, and he was ribbed for years about it, growing up. Tim said he came up with “Allen” without really thinking about all of the possible cooler choices. Allen, he said, was really his middle name.
“Gosh, I love Toy Story,” Fallon said.
“Nobody wants the little cowboy without a groin,” Allen said. “They all want the spaceman.”
He related a story about yelling “To infinity and beyond!” at an unruly child and how the kid looked at him “as if that ugly man ate Buzz Lightyear.”
Tim Allen confirmed that there will be a Toy Story 4. Fallon mentioned that Last Man Standing is in its fourth season.
“I just love this cast. I have three daughters instead of three boys now,” Tim said. He said he liked the intimacy of a studio audience.
Tim Allen will be performing stand-up comedy in Las Vegas, but he warned “Don’t bring your kids,” to it, as it is not a G-rated sort of comedy show. Then, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon went to a commercial break.
When the Tonight Show was back, Jimmy Fallon and Tim Allen raced Turkey Scooters in the studio and out of it, backstage, past hungry pilgrims and other obstacles. The Turkey Scooters looked pretty cool. Allen took the early lead. He led the entire race, crossing the finish line way in advance of Jimmy Fallon. After that, the Tonight Show went to yet more commercials.
Back from the break, Jimmy Fallon welcomed his second guest of the show, rapper will.i.am. of the Blackeye Peas, who did the very funny Ew! video with Fallon that went viral. “There’s so much to talk about,” Fallon said. He showed a photo of how they both looked in the video.
Then, will.i.am. had a beard and they were both dressed up like teen girls. will.i.am. came up with the idea and sent Fallon the song, except without the fast rap Fallon did. He said he had to do the take over and over again to get the fast rap right. will.i.am. played mir.i.am. in the video. The song not only broke the Billboard Top 100, the song eventually broke the Top 20.
Jimmy asked will.i.am. about his invention, Puls. It is a watch that is a smart computer, but not exactly a smart watch — it is a “wearable cuff” that can be used as a phone and has many other applications, like playing music.
He played Ew! using it. will.i.am. called up his mom and talked to her. Fallon also talked to will.i.am.’s mom. will.i.am. said he will be DJing from Bloomingdale’s using a pimped out version of it, the white one on his other wrist, on Black Friday.
The Tonight Show went to another break. When it came back, Jimmy Fallon introduced his musical guest, Dej Loaf. She sang her smash hit Try Me with The Roots. She was terrific, though she kind of looked like she was wearing a colorful bathrobe as she sang. Nothing wrong with that, though — her voice was what counted, and she showed off her vocal skills with Try Me.
What a terrific Tonight Show episode it was to begin Thanksgiving week! It might not have been as delicious as turkey and stuffing, but the episode was low in calories. Jimmy Fallon had on, as his guests, comedian Tim Allen and rapper will.i.am., and the show concluded with the talented singer, Dej Loaf, performing Try Me. Now, where did that last slice of pumpkin pie go to?
Written By Douglas Cobb
Jimmy Fallon Races Tim Allen on Turkey Scooters