On The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, there was a fantastic line-up of guests, like Martin Short (Mulaney), who played Pictionary with Fallon, Jerry Seinfeld and comedian Miranda Sings; and, actress Gabriel Union (Being Mary Jane). The musical guest on the Tonight Show was Mary J. Blige.
Jimmy Fallon began the Tonight Show by welcoming his audience and then he did his nightly monologue. Some jokes from it follow, somewhat paraphrased.
“What a show to come to! What a show to be at! Here’s what everyone’s talking about. Last week, President Obama and Michelle sent out the very first ever interactive holiday card. It opens up and you have to sign up for ObamaCare.”
“Bit of a scandal — President Putin bribed a soccer official with a Picasso. ‘It wasn’t a Picasso, it was a warning — eyes here, nose there,'” Fallon said, imitating Putin.
Then, Jimmy Fallon joked “A brewery in Oregon is coming out with a Sirachi flavored beer. It’s perfect to find out if you’re really an alcoholic.”
After that, The Roots played Jimmy Fallon to his desk, where he talked about upcoming guests like Reese Witherspoon, Cameron Diaz, Chris Rock and The Foo Fighters. He also mentioned tonight’s guests, like Martin Short, and Gabrielle Union from the movie Top Five. He and Steve Higgins, the announcer of the Tonight Show, then mentioned seeing the musical guest at dinner and sending over their bill to her table, to mess with her — Mary J. Blige.
“There’s a guy who asks the hard-hitting questions — Jiminy Glick, from Talk of the Town,” Jimmy Fallon said. Glick is, of course, Martin Short. He told Fallon “I usually talk to celebrities. I can tell from the grammar, limited education.”
Glick asked him how doing American Idol was, and Fallon said “I’m not Ryan Seacrest.”
“Oh, God — I’m really not prepared for this,” Glick said. He stuffed and entire doughnut into his mouth, then grabbed Fallon’s doughnut and put it into his mouth. Fallon had to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on him.He asked Fallon about Timberlake, saying “Top or bottom?”
Fallon said “You’re trying to get a reaction out of me.” It was a pretty hilarious comedy segment. Fallon said he will be interviewing Martin Short when the Tonight Show comes back. Short has a new book out, I Must Say: My Life as a Humble Comedy Legend.
“I adore being overwhelmed by love like that!” Martin said. “This is my first appearance on the Tonight Show! I mean your energy, it’s so insane! You look tremendous. You lost the muffin top.” Short then called the announcer, Steve Higgins, “Andy Richter,” and said he had not seen The Roots “since the Charlie Manson bachelor party.”
“If you love comedy, you have to read this book,” Jimmy Fallon said about Short’s book. Martin told him the characters he created were based on real people he has known. There is also an audio book people can get. Fallon also talked with Martin about a new movie he is in, Inherent Vice, where he plays “a cocaine-addicted guy obsessed with having sex with younger women,” in short’s words.
“You pretty much always play that guy,” Jimmy Fallon said. He showed a clip from the movie, then said they would be playing Pictionary when the Tonight Show returned from another commercial break.
Jimmy Fallon introduced Miranda Sings and Jerry Seinfeld, his special guests who will play Pictionary with Fallon and Martin Short. Fallon and Short were on one team, while Miranda drew first for Jerry.
“You can go now, Miranda! There’s a time limit on this,” Jerry said. She had hardly anything drawn, when the time ran out. It was supposed to be “Mistletoe.”
Jimmy tried to draw “Hang Gliding.” Short eventually said “Hang Glider,” which was close, but they did not get the points.
Next, Jerry drew for Miranda. He tried to draw “Foot in the Door.’ “It’s an expression,” he told her. Jerry talked too much, trying to give clues; but, Miranda still did not get the answer right.
Martin Short was next to draw, a “Piggy Bank.”
“Devil bank, bank teller, snowman,” Fallon said.
“I guess you don’t know art,” Martin told Fallon.
Martin told Miranda “You’re going down!” and she acted as if she was crying. Both Miranda and Martin drew at the same time — it was supposed to be “Mrs. Claus.” Jerry was looking at Short’s drawing, which did not help at all. “You guys, this is the first-ever tie,” Fallon said. Nobody got any points whatsoever.
When The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon came back from yet more commercials, Fallon introduced his second guest of the show, Gabrielle Union. “Please welcome to the show the lovely Gabrielle Union!” Falon said. He asked her about her marriage, saying the last time she was there, she was about to get married.
“We had John Legend perform, we had Questlove. The highlight had to be the Dance Off,” Gabrielle told Fallon.
“How’s your husband? How’s Dwyane Wade?”
“God has given him many gifts,” Gabrielle answered. “Inside, he’s Usher. Outside, he’s like a toddler.”
Jimmy asked her about Top Five, and she said that Chris “is a cool cat.” She also talked about going to a Prince party. “You can’t have a Plus One,” she said. “You just have to hope that someoen you know is also going.” She said she told him “If I had known there was food, I would have brought a tuna casserole.”
“You play a reality star. There’s a big made-for-TV wedding coming up,” Fallon said.
“Yes, and he goes off the rails,” Gabrielle replied. Then, Fallon showed a clip from Top Five.
“Mary J Blige performs next, everybody!” Fallon said, and the Tonight Show again went to a break.
From her latest album, The London Sessions, Mary J. Blige performed the song Therapy. She knocked the song dead, as usual. The record has her singing with a ton of collaborators, like Sam Smith. Blige had platinum blond hair. She had the audience in the palms of her hands as she sang, and then they clapped along as she sang. Fallon came onstage with her new album, and said it is in stores, now.
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon was terrific tonight, a great way to start the week off right. Martin Short is always funny, and tonight was no exception, though he was not very good at guessing what Jimmy Fallon tried to draw in Pictionary. That was okay, because Jerry Seinfeld and his partner for the game, Miranda Sings, were not very good at the game, either. It was funny watching them try, though. Gabrielle Union was a very entertaining guest, and Mary J. Blige put on a great musical performance singing Therapy.
Written By Douglas Cobb
NBC Universal Media Village