The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon this Wednesday, February 11, 2015, featured Fallon’s guests NBA legend and sports commentator, Charles Barkley, actor Hugh Grant and comedian Kyle Kinane. Later in the episode, Jimmy Fallon played the game Hallway Golf with Hugh Grant and Barkley.
Jimmy Fallon started off the Tonight Show with his comedy monologue, joking about current topics in today’s headlines. He made jokes about David Axelrod’s tell-all book, saying that Obama chose Biden because of his “energy and enthusiasm, which is the same reason he picked his dog, Bo.”
Fallon then joked about Andrew Garfield not being Spider-Man any longer. He said that many people would like the next Spider-Man to be black. He showed what Spider-Man would look like if he was played by a black man, just showing a man dressed in a Spider-Man costume.
Then, Jimmy Fallon made a series of jokes about movies that have been delayed in Russia, so that other movies could be shown. He also cracked jokes about the upcoming movie Fifty Shades of Grey, like about a new candy product called Fifty Shades of S&Ms.
He mentioned the game show, Family Feud, with host Steve Harvey. “Name something that a doctor might pull out of a person,” Harvey asked.
One lady answered “A gerbil.” Fallon said her husband was looking like he was thinking “Why are you looking at me?”
Jimmy Fallon said who would be guests later this week, then he said that tonight’s guests would be Hugh Grant and Charles Barkley. He said that they would all play Hallway Golf later. Fallon also said that comedian Kyle Kinane would be on.
After that, Jimmy Fallon did his weekly “Tonight Show Superlatives.” During football season, Fallon jokes about what the players were Voted Most Likely to have been; now, he is doing the same thing with NBA players. From the Miami Heat, Chris Bosch was Voted Most Athletic Voldemort. Stephen Curry from the Golden State Warriors was Voted Most Likely to be Carded When Ordering Milk. Kyle Lowry from the Raptors was Voted Most Likely to be Posing for a Sixth Grade Picture.
Jimmy Fallon welcomed his first guest of the Tonight Show, Hugh Grant, who stars in the new movie, The Rewrite. “Already, you look like you’re upset,” Jimmy Fallon asked him.
“I like to see a specialist at least once a week for a life threatening disease.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Fallon said.
“So far, they’ve found nothing wrong with me,” Grant agreed. He said that he sometimes feels as weak as a kitten, and as if he is being picked up by the scruff of the neck. He called it “Kitten Syndrome.” Grant said he has been to doctors on both sides of the Atlantic.
Hugh talked about being bullied in high school by a guy named Halet. Jimmy Fallon said it sounded like someone’s name from Game of Thrones.
“Do you watch any adult shows?” Fallon said. “No, no — I don’t mean adult shows,” he said, “I mean ones that adults watch with other people, like sitcoms.”
“I watch Peppa Pig,” Grant said, “with my kids.” Grant said that he has a three-year-old daughter.
“You’re great in movies,” Jimmy Fallon told him, and then talked about the movie Grant is in, The Rewrite. Hugh plays a person who started off as a drunk, but then got a job teaching at a university, and he becomes a much nicer acting person by the end of the movie. Fallon impersonated Grant, then said “Don’t walk out.”
“I’m just going to slightly freeze you,” Grant replied. “I will be slightly quieter.” Fallon then showed a clip from the movie, in which Grant talked about movies which feature women who are martial artists.
“You know how to do it, buddy,” Fallon told Grant. “Again, please don’t leave. Will you stick around and play a game of Hallway Golf?”
Grant agreed, saying that he used to play indoor golf when he was in college. He said that the hole would be his brother’s “open mouth.”
Sir Charles Barkley drove up in a golf cart, and they all played Hallway Golf. According to Jimmy, it was a race to see who would finish the round first. Strokes would not be counted.
“Is this the finish line?” Barkley asked.
“Yes, it’s the finish line, Fallon answered. “That’s exactly what it’s called in golf.”
Fallon missed on his first swing, but he finally hit the ball. Then, Hugh and Barkley shot and hit their balls really well, and after that, they all just tried to use their golf clubs like brooms, and sweep their balls toward the hole. It was a messed-up, but funny version of golf.
When the Tonight Show came back from another commercial break, Jimmy Fallon welcomed his second guest of the evening, NBA great and sports commentator, Charles Barkley. “You make life so great! Thanks for joining me tonight!” Fallon said.
“Jocks don’t have bad days. You’re making $20 million a year — even if your team loses a game, life’s not bad at all,” Barkley said.
He told Fallon that he likes drinking vodka, but just vodka, not some different flavored version of vodka. He said when he goes to a pizza restaurant, he just wants pizza, not chicken wings or bread sticks, etc., “just pizza.”
Charles Barkley griped about working this weekend, saying he will have to be in the studio maybe 5 or 6 hours. He said that was too much like a job. This weekend is the NBA All Star Weekend. “Bill Russell always comes, and Tiny Archibald,” Barkley said.
Jimmy Fallon called Charles Barkley “the best in the business.” Then, the Tonight Show went to yet another commercial break.
When The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon returned, Fallon introduced the final guest of the show, comedian Kyle Kinane, who did a stand-up routine that was pretty hilarious.”His new special is called ‘I Liked His Old Stuff Better.’ Kyle Kinane, everybody!”
Kyle said he is now 38, and did not think he would live that long. He said when he wakes up in the morning, his “bones sound like the last 15 seconds of a popcorn bag popping.”
“When I age, I want to age catastrophically. I want to be okay up to the very end of my life, then have the doctor say he’s going to have to replace all of my bones with metal ones.” Kyle said that “the mental slipping is happening. I’ll read signs out loud to nobody. Chipotle — like my brain is running diagnostic checks. Can you read that sign out loud? Okay, then — all systems go!”
“I bite my tongue now, and I’m not in pain — I’m disappointed. My brain says, ‘It’s been there all this time, and you’ve had it longer than your teeth –c’mon!'” He said that he likes to look at pictures of dogs from the humane society on his computer now more than he likes to look at pornography, and at three in the morning, the light coming from under his door is not him looking at naked women, but him looking at a picture of a dog and wondering if they can find clues and solve crimes together.
Kyle Kinane’s stand-up comedy routine marked the end of this Wednesday episode of the Tonight Show. Fallon went up the aisles of the audience, giving everybody high fives and pressing the flesh. He hugged one man in the audience. Fallon’s guests were NBA legend, Charles Barkley, actor Hugh Grant, and comedian Kyle Kinane. Be sure to tune in tomorrow night, to watch another episode of the Tonight Show!
Written By Douglas Cobb
NBC Universal Media Village
Kyle Kinane Official Site