We’ve all heard it before. You’re out with friends and one guy keeps going on and on about his girlfriend issues. It starts the moment you pick him up. And by now you and the rest of the guys are just sick of hearing it. “She won’t talk to me, she’s ignoring my calls”… he just won’t stop. But someone has to tell this guy the cold, hard truth; you are about to be dumped, my friend!
The real question is why it’s so easy to identify pending relationship ruin for others but miss those same signs when it comes to your own situation? The reality is no one wants to be dumped. Many times it isn’t the result of one fight, one misunderstanding or one thing; it is the culmination of maladies that have gone unresolved. If you know anything about men, we tend to avoid conflict at all costs. But if we are never willing to deal with what’s going on, it festers until the next time and compounds until there is an explosion. That’s when we decide to fix it. Unfortunately, that can be too late.
So how do you know when the woman you’re dating is ready to call it quits? I’ve talked with several people during coaching sessions and have discovered a pattern that transcends ethnicity, age and socioeconomic backgrounds. No matter who they are, when a woman is fed up, an iron gate 20 feet tall couldn’t stop her from leaving. After some years of observation, here are a few signs you may find yourself on the verge of getting dumped guys. I hope you’re paying attention:
- She’s no longer willing to argue: Yikes! You are in deep stuff if this is where she is. This means she isn’t even vested enough anymore to use her energy to fuss. When a woman is actively engaged in a relationship, her passions, her emotions manifest through her willingness to speak out. We misinterpret this as nagging. But her voice is her signal she still sees room for it to work. Once she goes silent, that spells trouble! She’s now keeping her ideas, frustrations and future plans to herself because you just aren’t worth it anymore in her eyes.
- Her social media goes dark or cryptic: If you’re reading posts like “Sometimes life makes you choose yourself” on her Instagram, it’s a Code Red my friend. Especially if she is typically a cheerful, positive person online. Often we use our social media platforms to say things behind a veil we wouldn’t normally say in public. If you’ve been with her and suddenly begin to notice cryptic messages about relationships or worst, those crazy memes, it is a sure sign she is unhappy in the relationship.
- Other obligations have become her priority: You used to have the highest place in her day. Texts, calls and LIKES on your posts. But now you can’t even get her on the line. You could send smoke signals at this point and they wouldn’t get her attention! Why? Because her priorities have shifted. You are about to get dumped. We tend to give time to what is important to us. Once we change our minds, our hearts follow closely behind. So she’s not rushing out from work to meet you anymore and even when you two are spending time together she will take calls and answer emails. Simply put, you’re no longer at the top of her list.
Ne-Yo wrote the lyrics for the girl power anthem, which were inspired by his aunt and her unfaithful lover. The lyrics of the song were penned from the standpoint of a woman who is addressing her lover, who has been cheating on her. In the monster hit song Irreplaceable Beyoncé sings these words:
So since I’m not your everything
How about I’ll be nothing
Nothing at all to you
Baby, I won’t shed a tear for you
I won’t lose a wink of sleep
‘Cause the truth of the matter is
Replacing you is so easy
The truth is no guy wants to hear…To left, to the left! Most of us genuinely want to see things work out with our lady. But due to neglect or plain old taking her for granted, it happens to the best of us. The key to anything in life is not to view it as isolated incidents or random acts, but part and parcel of how we do life. Chances are … if you’re missing these cues from your lady, there’s some other stuff going on around you that you’re missing as well. So wake up dude, pay attention and make the investment in relationships that yield a profitable return.
Written by Early Jackson
(Edited by Cherese Jackson)
BOOK: The Modern Princess: The 21st Century Guide to Fairy Tale Relationships
Top Image Courtesy of New Direction Coaching Associates
Inline Image Courtesy of Tony Alter – Flickr License
Featured Image Courtesy of Savoir-faire Linux – Flickr License