Just like that, your session is over. Now you are sitting with your mind racing a million miles a minute. Part of you wants to conquer the world, the other part wants to ask your coach who the hell they think they are? This is the plight of many who employ the assistance of a life coach and are not sure of what they should do next.
In America, the rise of the self-help industry and coaches, in particular, can be seen everywhere. From reality shows, television networks, and even talk shows, coaches have seemingly stepped into the limelight over the past decade. There was a time when you referred to a “coach” you were talking in reference to sports. However, today, celebrities and top CEOs have made having a coach on your team a popular trend.
The most important thing in the relationship between a client and coach rests in two major areas: trust and accountability. I personally tell clients as we are deciding if we should pair up and collaborate, “If we cannot have the synergy that produces both trust and accountability we CANNOT work together.” After all, as a coach, I want to see my clients get their breakthroughs and be successful. Therefore, I am not in the business of stalled results. I want to collaborate with people who get the value of this connection and, frankly, are ready to do the work.
As I have navigated working with people in the capacity of a coach over the years, I have found myself including this sentiment many times in my pre-session meeting. This is a time where I break down what is going to happen. Remember, I said coaching has gotten national exposure and a Hollywood makeover. Therefore, people are walking into the real world of coaching expecting results in the span of an hour. They have seen Iyanla do it. Dr. Oz can wrap it up before the next commercial. However, that is not how it really works. It is a commitment made that allows someone to get into your world, turn things upside down, and challenge the hell out of you in the process.
Here are a couple of things to do after you have had an appointment with your coach:
- First, slow down and process what just happened: The real deal is, depending on the type of coaching you are involved in, you opened up in a vulnerable manner with your coach. This type of vulnerability is not the norm. We typically keep our personal issues to ourselves or within the confidence of our family and close friends. I have had clients say that they are feeling so raw after a session and the experience is like an emotional rollercoaster. That is normal! After a session try to work into your schedule some down time to process things. Rushing back to work or off to your next responsibility may prove to be difficult. Think of how your body needs a cool down period after a strong workout. Give your emotions that same opportunity to recover.
- Go over your homework: If your coach is like me (and I hope they are), they give you assignments to stay engaged between sessions and hold you accountable for doing them. First, know that they are not in your life to make you do work. If they have to make you, save your money because you are not ready for transformation. Coaches thrive with clients who are willing to put in the effort to see results. A trainer is no good if you eat like crap between workouts. You are a major part of the outcome expected from a coach. So do not put your notebook away and keep it hidden until the night before the next session. When you are scrambling to remember what you said in the moment, trust me; we know when you are feeding us BS. Honor the relationship and time you are investing enough to jump on assignments and get the most out of them.
- Start looking for ways to implement and take action: It is all about the action folks. Right or wrong, I can work with someone who is willing to try. So when you hang up or walk out of your coach’s office, start looking for ways to practice what you discussed in your session. Life responds to those willing to get on the dance floor. If the session was on forgiveness, make the decision to release someone you have had an issue with. If it was about taking action, tomorrow when you hold your staff meeting, put it into action. If you never act on them, the principles your coach is sharing will be impotent. However, mixed with your action they will explode into major results in your life.
I tell people I am in the business of empowerment. When you say, you “helped” someone it has the implication they are deficient in some way. As if the coach is on top and they are not. When a person says they “empowered” someone, it to declare they had the power the whole time and just needed someone to show them how to flip the switch. Our firm, New Direction Coaching Associates, has had the privilege of empowering people individually and through professional development workshops. It never gets old; I get excited every time I see the lightbulb come on and someone’s life just made a shift.
As a coach, it has been proven that clients who show enthusiastic participation in and after sessions have a far greater rate of success. In short, you get what you are willing to put into coaching. You would have to be crazy to throw away the money you are paying a good coach if you never intend to do the work. The next time you are wrapping up your weekly session, remember what I have shared. You deserve the best life and coaching can play a huge part of the process.
Written by Early Jackson
(Edited by Cherese Jackson)
Top/Inline Images Courtesy of New Direction Coaching Associates
Featured Image by Paul Abell/Elevation Photos Courtesy of Lwp Kommunikáció – Flickr License