I can not be the only lazy lady in the world who wakes up tired of being a woman. I recall many days where I would wake up exhausted of walking in the ever confusing and unfair shoes of being a female. Those days I get up with an all too familiar itch of wanting to disappear.
There have been points in my life when I have wanted to be invisible. The reasons have varied based on my age and life path at that point. However, they do all have one common denominator. I do not want to be seen, at that moment, because the expectations of my womanhood are far too overwhelming.
Occasionally, I would just avoid human interaction and read, take baths, go for walks, and remind myself of who I am. Then, I grew older, and the technological tides changed. I would delete all social networks, and disappear from the intersperse for months at a time.
I truly enjoy a quiet far away place to decompress and shed some layers of life weight and have been known to book a flight and leave. Sometimes, I would book a flight to a cheap and private place, like Treasure Island, Florida. And, picture the Gulf of Mexico beaches were somewhere far more exotic, like my lifelong dream of Italy. If I can not run away to some far off beach in Italy, at least I could learn to make myself feel like I AM Italy.
Today I am wearing glasses and a thick gray t-shirt that makes me feel comfortable and like myself. However, I knew the outside world would not approve of my natural look, and think I am a lazy lady. I grow weary of the rituals we woman have to go through to make ourselves acceptable.
I have to wake up, shower, shave, pluck, groom, lotion, powder, perfume, dress, match, put on makeup, brush, style, and cover myself while exposing enough to show I still have a sexy feminine side. All of these things occur before eight in the morning, and frankly, it is exhausting.
Alas, I came to work in glasses and my ratty T-shirt. I am a maze of different times, experiences, people, and places. I am made up of a trillion pieces of the galaxy. Pouring out of me is dust, balance, love, and life.
I may as well learn to love myself, instead of running away. Perhaps I could try staying and learning to let go of my invisibility. I could learn to be a louder and prouder woman. Maybe all these moments of wanting to run away, are just my cosmic Mother Earth ancestors, telling me to take control, to change the way the world views me, and other ladies like me.
Perhaps it is time for a lazy lady like myself to drop the negative connotation adjective associated with the title of this article and realize that our feminine, and human, prerogative is to be different. It will take every kind of woman to change the way this great big hunk of land views us, and maybe my mind is just what this world needs.
Opinion News by Magaly Ordonez
Edited by Tracy Blake
Opinion: By Magaly Ordonez and Her Mind and Self-righteous Anger.
Image Courtesy of Silke GerstenKorn’s Flickr Page – Creative Commons License