MENLO PARK, CALIFORNIA (Satire) – Forbes Magazine has recently ranked Mark Zuckerberg in the top 20 of the top 400 of the richest people in the United States of America. Bill Gates, as usual for the past 20 years, took the coveted spot at the top of the list, even beating out Carlos Slim, last year’s richest person in the world, for the title of wealthiest worldwide.
Facebook, which started as a social networking site in 2004 at Harvard, has now expanded into most countries with an internet connection. It is an extrovert’s dream come true. After signing up and adding friends, you can have multiple conversations (both public and private) with as many people as you see fit.
Anyone can join. It doesn’t matter your creed, religion, sex, skin color, ethnicity, place of birth, current residence, race, or sexual orientation. It is not exclusive and even better, as it says on its homepage, “It’s free and always will be.”
However, there have been some complaints stemming from the overuse of the social networking site. Marriages and relationships have broken up over Facebook with one person who has filed for divorce citing the reason for their split that her former significant other, “just spends too much time on that stupid Facebook when he comes home from work. He doesn’t even say ‘hello’ anymore and you can probably guess how much ‘we’ time we get. I’m sick of it.” But it’s not just the social networking site itself that can be addicting.
Let’s not forget about the games. From the craze that was Farmville to the never-ending saga that is Candy Crush, some people have developed an almost chemical-like dependence on the social networking site and the temptations associated with it.
Mark Zuckerberg has built an empire with Facebook, especially considering when it officially went public, giving investors the opportunity to capitalize on the social networking fad that just won’t seem to go away. He has been happy with his success so far and since its inception, Zuckerberg has spent most of his waking hours developing, honing, and perfecting his site that has made him so successful; until now.
Mark Zuckerberg, due to how busy he was with Facebook had not watched much T.V. He recently, however, heard about a show called Breaking Bad, a television drama about a high school chemistry teacher who when diagnosed with lung cancer, turned to making and selling crystal meth and in doing so, earned quite a bountiful profit. This piqued Mark’s interest.
Zuckerberg thinks all drugs should be legal, so not seeing anything wrong with it, he decided to do something he describes as “getting people hooked on something less addictive than Facebook.” “It consumes less of people’s time and with selling crystal meth, it’s not like I’m selling anyone’s personal information to companies for a profit.” he said with an maniacal laugh. Despite becoming a criminal, Zuckerberg hasn’t been charged with anything illegal yet because as he says with a laugh, “What? Are you kidding me? Rich people don’t go to jail. This is America where prison time is for poor people.”
Written By: Jon Webster