Bobbi Kristina, daughter of the late Whitney Houston, took to her FaceBook page to announce that she is officially engaged. She didn’t stop there, she went on to say, “”Let me clear up something, we aren’t even real brother and sister nor is he my adoptive brother. My mom never adopted him. In fact, mommy was the one who even said that she knew that we were going to start dating.”
Many people were first introduced to her fiancé, Nick Gordon, on the show which was filmed approximately three months after Whitney’s passing entitled, “The Houstons.” It was obvious from the show that the Houston family was opposed to the newly introduced union. The late Houston brought Gordon into her home when he was 12 and has referred to him as her “son” from that time until she died in February 2012.
America had the opportunity of a front row seat as they watched Bobbi K. make a multitude of horrible decisions as she enduring her grieving process. The family assumed this was just another of those unfiltered choices
Well, from the show Bobbi didn’t show any signs that she was open to any type of counseling or even real therapy. The world can only hope, for their sake, that she’s had a change of heart. Marriage is not joke and should not be taken lightly.
You fall in love, get married, and most times have children and raise a family. Over the years, love deepens; the bond strengthens, but our feeling of marital satisfaction often waxes and wanes. During the “bad times” there is more arguing and fault finding, less sharing and touching, fewer moments of happiness and appreciation. Only those that are really committed to the concept of marriage weather the storms and manage to stay married; not always happily.
What most couples don’t realize is that there are things they can do to ensure that times are better than they are worse, to make riding out the storms smoother and easier.
Marriage requires skill and constant attention. If tended to, it will thrive, but if neglected, it will wither and die. There is no couple that doesn’t have to work hard at improving their relationship. Believing that the good times will continue to roll on their own is a setup for disappointment and disillusionment.
The fact is that all marriages have problems that cause conflict and strain the relationship. Among the most common problems:
- Money: There never seems to be enough, or if there is, one person is upset about how the other spends it and how to invest or protect the rest.
- Sex: It’s the reason 50 percent of couples seek marriage counseling. Usually, one partner desires sex more often and on different terms than the other. Often times it gets so bad that neither spouse can recall the last time they enjoyed it together.
- Work: Partners have different role expectations about who does what within the home as well as outside of the home.
- Children: Couples often disagree over how to raise and discipline children.
These problems won’t lead to marital meltdown if people can talk about them constructively with their partner. Healthy communication is the key! Marriage is much like having a job, it takes commitment, knowledge, and trust to make it last. Each partner has important needs in a marriage that have to be met.
Taking a marriage from mediocre to great, can mean an unexpected lunch date, a mid-afternoon call at work, a stop at the local florist, a quick kiss in the morning, or a simple “I love you”. Partners can trigger their memory by moving their thinking away from the problem and back to the core of the relationship. How? By thinking of how they felt, in the beginning of the relationship, during the dating stage, sometimes it can be hard to get those feelings back, because life has become busier with family, and work.
All in all, marriage is a partnership, and being an active participant in your marriage is critical in having that 50th Year Anniversary. Men need to feel respected by their wives, and told often how much they are appreciated, and loved. Women need to be celebrated, loved and a feeling of security.
Bobbi Kristina concludes her announcement with this, “People need to seriously stop judging my relationship. Pretty sure it’s my own decision who I want to be with. Yes, my relationship may not be perfect. We will have rough patches, just like every other relationship. And we have had our rough patches. You may or may not agree with my relationship. You may or may not respect it. Judge me, go ahead. Your opinions are yours and mine are mine. It is my life and not yours. The decisions I make have nothing to do with you. Goodnight.”
She couldn’t be more right, there are times as a couple they will have arguments or disagreements, but if they always keep at the forefront of their minds the reason they fell in love in the first place, this will take their marriage from mediocre to great and help it endure the test of time. Let’s hope they’re up for the challenge.
By: Cherese Jackson (Virginia)