Kim Kardashian’s smile looked like fireworks dancing to orchestra music at San Francisco’s AT & T stadium Monday night, and her wish to marry her best friend came true. Kanye West went down on his knee to Kim Kardashian and sparked fireworks – real and heartfelt – as family and friends admired the romantic moment captured on video, and wished that this time, new beginnings would last.
Kim Kandashian’s fireworks at the stadium displayed her heart’s love for West, and his passionate devotion to her. In her third attempt at marriage, friends, family and fans hope that the fireworks will last throughout the inevitable challenges of marriage.
Hollywood stars such as Kim Kardashian face many challenges keeping marital relationships intact due to constant pressures from the public eye, media and scrutiny from many sources including the paparazzi.
The fact Kim Kardashian has called rapper Kanye West her best friend makes the fireworks from West’s proposal shine brighter, and with her past behind her, the reality show star is making a fresh start from what analysts say tainted her reputation in the past and subsequently led to Kim Kardashian’s previous divorce from basketball player Kris Humphries.
Psychologist Melanie Tannenbaum analyzed interactions between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, and as a result, asserted that hopefully Kim Kardashian would learn what behaviors to avoid so that her future relationships could succeed. It is hopeful that she has learned from these errors to move forward to happy new beginnings in her current marriage to rapper Kanye West.
Tannenbaum did an analysis of interactions between Kim Karbashian and Kris Humphries on the documentary from all the awkward scenes of her previous battlefield and short-lived marriage to Kris Humphries –72 hours to be exact – shown on the reality show
Tannenbaum based her analysis of Kim Karbashian and Humphries interactions using a framework by psychologist John Gottman who set out to ask, what makes couples happy or not? This question poses a formidable challenge to all of us, even to movie stars like Kim Kabashian and Kanye West as they enter their new life together.
Gottman’s framework hones in on four destructive behaviors, termed as the “Four Horsemen of the apocalypse”, with the term ‘apocalypse’ referring to an annihilation or termination. These behaviors, called horsemen, are ‘contempt, criticism, stonewalling and defensiveness.’
Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries displayed all of these ‘horsemen’ during the marriage aired to the world.
Now people may ask how could these four behaviors – or ‘horsemen’ – be the sole cause of predicting whether a couple will break apart? This startling insight came from Gottman and his assistant researchers who performed copious observations every 15 minutes on recordings from of some 80 marriages engaging in conflicts. Then they evaluated recordings to compare contented and discontented couples to see what patterns of behaviors emerged.
Over the long span of 14 years, Gottman and his partner Robert Levenson copiously noting each kind of conduct they saw until a pattern emerged into four categories of contempt, criticism, stonewalling and defensiveness. The findings showed that couples exhibiting these types of behaviors would likely divorce over the 14-year span and this research predicted correct outcomes at a startling average rate of 93%.
In the case of Kim Karbashian’s fireworks in the proposal video with West, wearing her sparkling diamond, hand in hand into new beginnings, the challenge remains daunting to juxtapose the ‘Four Horsemen of the apocalypse” with behaviors that communicate praise not contempt, approval not criticism, cooperation rather than stonewalling, and openness rather than defensiveness.
Written By: Danelle Cheney