Adult ADHD in Relationships: 6 Tips to Help


Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder can be found not only during childhood, but also in adulthood, with the difference that the symptoms change from excessive energy to excessive daydreaming. In relationships, adult ADHD is usually seen as an ordeal, but helping a person with this condition can be done through six tips. However, this disorder sometimes goes untreated and relationships or marriages are severely damaged because of the person’s forgetfulness and inability to stay still. Approximately five percent of Americans have this disorder in adulthood, which ultimately affects the quality of their relationships.

More often than not, people who are in a relationship with a person with undiagnosed ADHD perceive the inability to honor commitments and the poor listening skills as a sign of carelessness. For this reason, in order to survive through adult ADHD in relationships, one should take into consideration six tips that can restore and maintain the harmony between two people.

Since the divorce rate is about twice as high for people with ADHD, marriage consultant Melissa Orlov stated that the symptoms of this disorder should be recognized and the motives of the behavior understood. Otherwise, the uncertainty of not knowing why the person suffering for this condition is acting in a different way will cause tension, stress and resentment in the relationship.

Seek Help

Adult ADHD in relationships is sometimes hard to understand, which is the reason why seeking help is one of the six tips that can help a couple to deal with the disorder. Most problems appear when the condition is unidentified or untreated, but once the issue is diagnosed, the person not suffering from the disease should learn to respond to it differently.

Focus on the Person, Not on the Condition

If the spouse suffering from ADHD cannot remember anniversaries or trivial duties like running errands, the other person should always remember that the forgetfulness stems from the condition and it has nothing to do with the person.

Always Give Minor Tasks

Adult ADHD in relationships is hard to grasp, but by treating the person suffering from the condition with patience and giving him or her minor tasks rather than major chores, the likelihood of carrying out project increases.

Count on Digital Assistants

Terry Matlen, the author of Survival Tips for Women with ADHD stated that people suffering from this disorder have two time zones, namely “now” and “not now.” For this reason, having a device which can set reminders and bring them to the present is one of the best ways to deal with this condition and be more efficient.

Outside Resources

If the person who suffers from this disorder forgets to mow the lawn or fix something around the house, the best way to handle the situation is to hire a service that can do the job. Although it is more costly, it will save the couple from endless discussions.

See the Glass Half Full

ADHD does not begin in adulthood and it is not likely to stop, so the ones who are embarking on a relationship with a person suffering from this condition should see the glass half full and understand that for each moment of forgetfulness, there is another of spontaneity, excitement and energy.

Adult ADHD usually makes it difficult to succeed in a fast paced world, both professionally and personally, but even if relationships are harder to maintain because of the restlessness, daydreaming and disorganization, there are at least six tips that can help a couple overcome the hard times.

By Gabriela Motroc


U.S. News


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