Magic: The Gathering . . . Of Butt Cracks

Magic The Gathering

One of the world’s largest tournaments for the infamously dorky card game, Magic: the Gathering, transpired quite wondrously last weekend in Richmond, Virginia, reminding the world it still existed and proving that the game is indeed quite magical after all. The event caused boisterous social media buzz due to the intimate way in which Reddit user OB1FBM captured the whimsical occasion: secretly taking 16 photos with the abundant array of tragically stereotypical butt cracks on display. As he made his epic journey through the perilous aisles of practicing arcane mages, he digitally documented each and every dark crevice he encountered with a stoic and contemplative stare. The result was a collection of side-splitting reminders that this global guilty pleasure for nerds is not just a gathering of magic, but a magical gathering of butt cracks as well.

Who knew that Magic: the Gathering (MTG) was even still a thing. The game became commonplace decades ago and since then, seemed to vanish from whence it came. Apparently, there are over 12 million players remaining worldwide, and for brief fantastical moments, they get together and play. Reddit user OB1FBM, on behalf of those not privileged to be part of the exclusive event, took full advantage of his rare opportunity and showed the world the real magic behind the gathering: the butt cracks.

It was not long before the wise elders of the Magic: the Gathering high counsel, assumably what they are called, found out of OB1FBM’s indiscretions and banished him for a period of no less than 6 months.  What is worth it?  Most definitely.  At least the thousands of enamored onlookers who were lucky enough to have discovered the precious photo-op think so.  The heads of the event should probably be thanking this gem of the MTG community for the press he has ungraciously bestowed them.  After all, one cannot keep a such a cornucopia of punchlines all to themselves.

The only unsettling part of the riotous montage is the physical girth and lack of awareness prevalent in every plumber’s crack pictured.  The average size of these unsuspecting magicians is well above the normal and healthy range to the point where they simply cannot be contained by their clothing.  Perhaps that is why OB1FBM stares directly at the camera in every shot, letting the viewer’s eye notice his piercing glare before switching focus to the featured gap.  Is he trying to open a national dialogue about obesity and the stifling lack of cardiovascular activity plaguing America?  Probably not, but the potential lends to the humor.

The world will sadly not be seeing any more Magic: the Gathering candid captures from user OB1FBM for at least six months, but there is bound to be an influx of scrutinizing eyes on the next MTG tournament, wherever it may take place.  Now that the portly patrons have been made aware of their exposed cracks, however, they will most likely be more careful next time.  Or maybe not.  Either way, it is nice to know these loveable nerds have a common ground for gathering both their magic cards and their magically breaching butt cracks.

By Brandon Duringer
Twitter Handle @BrandonDuringer



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