Constantine: The Saint of Last Resorts (Review)

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At the beginning of the two part Constantine episode The Saint of Last Resorts a newborn baby is taken from his mother. she has her throat ripped open and all this takes place in a convent in Mexico. A nun rushes into the room to find the baby gone and the mother dead, the husband comes in and seeing his dead wife, screams. Up in the U.S. John and Zed have a quick chat over a sketch the she is working on and after this short bit of bonding, Constantine heads upstairs. Zed is surprised by a woman’s sudden appearance in the living room and she tells the woman that she did not know she was there.

This new visitor, clad in a nightgown, shouts for John. He comes back downstairs and sees that it is an old friend from England, Ann Marie Flynn. Zed asks if John knew she was here, Constantine replies, “she isn’t.” Ann gives him an address and tells John to hurry. Constantine explains that it must be pretty bad for his old former friend to look him up via by-location. He tells Zed that the woman hates him.

After a little preparatory work, John tells Zed to sit this one out as she is still resting. Instead, Chas accompanies him to Mexico, despite Zed telling Constantine he will need a Spanish speaking companion. Back at the cabin the woman completes her sketch, which turns out to be a sort of premonition, and south of the border, the exorcist finds his visitor and seems to be the only man in the world who calls a nun “love.”

As John and Chas investigate, Zed explores the cabin and finds a room that appears to open into a fog filled area with no boundaries. Constantine gets told off for flirting with another nun and an incantation to help them find out what took the baby starts a fire. They go to dig up the baby’s placenta which was buried in the family’s backyard. On the trip over to the house, Ann reveals why John fell out of favor with her.

Upon arriving at the house, the two start digging at the base of a tree to get the placenta, Constantine looks up and finds pear-shaped bit of fruit hanging from the tree. Ann looks at the “pear” and asks, “Is that skin?” John sticks a knife into the fruit and blood pours out of it and the other pieces hanging in the tree. The baby’s father, Hugo, rushes out and Ann explains what they are doing. A little later, they tell the man that the flesh fruit means that his son is still alive and that dark magic is involved. John says that the culprit is one of Eve’s (as in Adam and Eve) sisters.

Back in America, the art model Eddie shows back up and invites Zed out. When she agrees, he texts someone the message, “I got her.” At their date, Zed touches the model and instantly knows that he is up to something. She tells him that they should head back to her place. Constantine learns that a second baby has been taken and back at the church they find out that the new infant is from the same family. Hugo’s other son, a teenager, has had his child taken, but this time the mother was not killed.

John goes outside to a fountain to cast a spell and is approached by the flirtatious nun from the start of the show. She turns out to be one of Eve’s sisters and when Constantine guesses her name, she morphs into a vampire type creature and attacks him. As Eve’s younger sister tries to drown him, John stabs her and she flees. Zed overpowers Eddie and after he calls her Mary, she knocks him out. In The Saint of Last Resorts Constantine learns that ancient wizards are behind the rising darkness that Manny told him about earlier in the season. John makes a trap for Eve’s sister using a dead chicken filled with the baby’s father’s blood this combined with a spell will convince the vampire sister that this is a real baby.

As Zed questions Eddie two people, a man and a woman sent by her father show up, she threatens to kill the model and the man shoots Eddie dead. As John and Ann make last minute preparations they seem to settle their differences. Flynn agrees to hand over the chicken baby, and John gives her the amulet of Isuzu, the vampire sister’s former boyfriend, for protection. As the creature takes the bait, Hugo shoots at her and they chase the vampire down into tunnels under the church/convent.

Back at the cabin, the woman tries to capture Zed and after they fight, Zed pushes the intruder into the room and the screaming assailant vanishes. Chas, Constantine and Ann head into the tunnels and split up. John and Flynn find the babies and rescue them. The demon comes back and John forces her to tell him what the plan is. The vampire reveals that there will be Hell on Earth and that man will belong to the demons. After learning the plan, Constantine banished the vampire sister using the amulet.

Zed is captured by the other intruder who injects her with some sort of white drug. In the tunnels, the creature that Zed sketched at the beginning of episode shows up and to save the babies Ann shoots Constantine in the side. As she runs to the exit, the camera pulls away from John who is lying on the floor bleeding and in pain. In The Saint of Last Resorts, it looks like Constantine is in serious trouble, right along with Zed. With only five episodes left, since NBC has shortened the season to 13 episodes, the two part cliffhanger may be the last really exciting part of the first and perhaps only season of this excellent series.

By Michael Smith