4 Funny Reasons for Going Off or Taking a Break From Facebook

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People usually just throw empty threats about going off or taking a break from Facebook. Few people manage this divorce amicably. A friend has been trying to wean herself off Facebook for a few years now. She routinely goes off for a few months and then joins again to check updates about what is happening in everyone else’s life. A male friend tried it too after going through a painful breakup. He did not want all the condolences from the common friends that would start pouring in as soon as their relationship status would change. He deleted his account.

Going off social media is like an experiment. A 2013 study conducted by the Pew Research Center said that 61 percent of current Facebook members said that they had taken extended breaks from it, lasting a few weeks or more. Below are some funny reasons for going off or taking a break from the popular social networking site.

The Ex is Not Single Anymore – That is probably a common reason to delete one’s account. As soon as images of one’s ex with their new “squeeze” start popping up, in fact, as soon as their relationship status changes, common friends start commenting. Whether it be congratulations or a simple, “You guys look good together,” or even a heart emoticon, Facebook sucks the life out of you. As the ex’s relationship progresses, so does the festering wound.

Watching the new couple check in at one’s favorite restaurant or even going to the same place where the ex professed their love, is like a slap in the face. Rather than torture yourself more, just take a break from Facebook and come back after their “honeymoon” phase is over.

Taking Stalking to Another Level – This one is an extension of when the ex starts dating. If one starts stalking people, spending hours looking at pictures dated 2010, then they need to go off Facebook soon. Stalking the ex’s new love interest in detail, means that one does not have a life and the easiest way to get it is to get off Facebook.

Looking up a new crush’s photograph or checking out their profile is fine, but if one starts looking up all the times they were in a relationship and then starts digging into their girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s profiles, then they have just crossed a line. Similarly, looking up a high school friend is fine, but then looking at her brand new fiance’s profile to find out what he is like just to find out how he compares to what one has (read: one is dating), is stalking. Knowing an unshared detail and accidentally revealing it because their Facebook profile was thoroughly scrutinized, is also thoroughly humiliating.

Parents!! – If un-friending them or never adding them was not enough, going off Facebook is the only solution left. If they are not adding baby pictures of their children doing weird, cringe-worthy things, then it is those agonizing pictures of their child as a pimply faced, brace wearing sixth grader. These come to haunt their kids once it shows up on the timeline. Even changing the privacy setting quickly does not help.

If the parents were commenting on a friend’s photograph of their child then it is, if possible, even worse. Then the commenting takes on epic proportions. “My daughter the prettiest,” wrote a parent on a group photograph taken at a party. Another parent soon chimed in with, “My daughter is looking so cute.” Thus started the parent wars. Just go off Facebook, already.

Tagging Images – This threat is two – fold. One is that nobody wants to see themselves tagged in another picture of a beach or a pretty sunset where they were not present. People understand that they were being missed, but seriously, which wave were they or were they that plant sitting in the corner? What is expected of them in such a situation? It is worse if they are marked randomly in a corner of a group photograph of unknown people and then notifications start showing up of some unknown person liking your images.

The second problem is when one gets tagged in an embarrassing photo. At 25, when they have grown into themselves and their body, people do not want to see their photos from a kindergarten mud-slinging competition. Worse, if it was shot in a bar doing things which should not have been done anyway. If on a “sick day” from work, they checked in watching a movie at a theater or shopping with friends while having a good time, then they are dead. If coworkers and bosses are Facebook friends, then career suicide is what will happen. So why not get off Facebook, when the job still exists?

The author has experienced a few of the above mentioned reasons and has seen what has happened in each instance. This piece was written in jest, but should be taken seriously if whenever a person does something new and their first thought is to update their Facebook status. Taking a break from Facebook has also been tried before by the author, though not very successfully.

Opinion By Anugya Chitransh


Mind Body Green: 7 Amazing Things That Happened When I Got Off Facebook

Mashable: 20 Things Your Most Annoying Friends Do on Facebook

All Womens Talk: 15 Excellent Reasons to Quit Facebook

Pew Research Center: Coming and Going on Facebook

Top Photo Courtesy of Eston Bond’s Flickr Page – Creative Commons License
Featured Photo Courtesy of Ted Rheingold’s Flickr Page – Creative Commons License