Mother’s Violent Outburst at Elementary School is Poor Example to all Children

Principal Kent Vallier
Principal Kent Vallier

By Dawn Cranfield

Mother’s Violent Outburst at Elementary School is Poor Example to all Children

Violence begets violence.  A threat made by a Reno, Nevada, mother at her child’s elementary school certainly could not have been Valerie Bourquin-Brown’s shining moment.  Bourquin-Brown was having a heated discussion with her son’s principal, Kent Vallier, at Double Diamond Elementary on October 3, 2012, when she threatened to have her husband come back to the school and “kick the principal’s ass”.  (rgj.com)

Bourquin-Brown, 34, is the mother of Dylan, a second grader at the south Reno school.  Dylan is afflicted with sensory integration or sensory processing disorder (SPD), according to his mother.  While SPD is not currently recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), many believe it fits into another category such as the now-known autism-spectrum disorder, ADHD, or that it may be associated with an intellectual disability.

“The disorder is characterized by behavior problems. It can interfere with a child’s functioning and can be found in people with autism, developmental delays or with no diagnosis at all.  Dylan has been accused of kicking and throwing items. Bourquin-Brown said that on several occasions, her son has been restrained and handcuffed by school police.” (rgj.com)

Principal Vallier met with Bourquin-Brown to confer about Dylan’s behavior after an incident where his classroom had to be cleared.  Vallier believes the boy’s outbursts are causing a disruption to the other students and making the parents of the other children uncomfortable.

Dylan’s mother feels her child was mistreated and claims she simply wants the staff to establish an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) for him.  She asserts that he can get overwhelmed at times, but “It’s about my son, and all anyone wants is for their child is to be treated fairly.  He’s a smart kid and has made progress.” (rgj.com)

Vallier ended the conference after what he claims was her “elevated volume” and “her past pattern of volatility.” (rgj.com)  He then IEPput the school in a lockdown mode and called police.

According to arrest reports, Bourquin-Brown also made threats to staff after her meeting with the principal and said they should call school police.  She also stated, “She was going to have her husband come back and kick the principal’s ass.” (rgj.com)

Poor Example to all ChildrenVallier filed a temporary restraining order against Bourquin-Brown who was arrested the next day at her home.  Although Dylan is back at Double Diamond Elementary School, along with his brother Jacob, a kindergartner, their mother is not allowed on the property.

Vallier has been on leave since the October incident.

Bourquin-Brown will appear in the Justice Court of the State of Nevada on March 12 to defend herself against the charges of threatening Principal Vallier.

Bourquin-Brown said she was angry when she said her husband would come to the school and “kick the principal’s ass.”

There are so many diagnoses these days that every time they revise the DSM it seems there are a plethora of new mental illnesses to ascribe our everyday woes; what used to be an energetic kid is now ADHD, somebody who was very meticulous is now OCD, and violent kids are now SPD.

If this child is acting out in class and cannot control his impulses, look to the mother; violence begets violence.

 

http://www.rgj.com/article/20130227/NEWS02/302270057/Reno-parent-s-threat-at-Double-Diamond-Elementary-ends-up-in-court

http://www.mcintoshneurology.com/blog/2009/04/09/what-is-a-sensory-processing-disorder/

7 Responses to "Mother’s Violent Outburst at Elementary School is Poor Example to all Children"

  1. Advocate   September 12, 2014 at 11:25 am

    Love how the author of this piece failed to mention that the mother left the school in tears because the principal was making her son take naps with him every day and not allowing him to eat his lunch. If you had actually cared you would have also learned that the District continued to fail this child two years later and the family has had to file state and federal complaints. This district is now going thru a federal investigation for violation of ADA laws against this child. The principal was actually fired and there is discussion into possible legal action against this man for sexuals abuse. I was there the day this happened and do not know the family. But I watched the principal spit in the mother’s face. I comment now because it is a shame no one cares to do the real story on this. I have seen this family in action and have never seen a more caring loving family.

    Reply
  2. Thomas Offal   April 2, 2014 at 5:31 am

    This SPD thing is a total crock — it isn’t even listed as a disease in the DSM5!

    It is also very clear where this mom’s little monster of a son comes from — his mommy!

    Reply
  3. Limejellogirl   March 15, 2013 at 11:20 am

    My daughter has SPD, and yes, she has some tendencies to tantrum when she is overwhelmed. Neither my husband nor I are violent people. But SPD is a real diagnosis, and I’m glad that my daughter has an understanding teacher and principal. It sounds like the mother is extremely frustrated by the school refusing to take proper steps to actually help her child succeed. She asks for an IEP. Why can’t she get one? Obviously the child is struggling, but with funding the way it is, a child that is not struggling academically can’t get help.

    My child’s teacher is in contact with me often, sharing the good and the bad. We had a special meeting at the beginning of the year to discuss how we could help EVERYONE in the situation. Of course the other children will suffer if mine is having a tantrum and throwing chairs. So the best solution to the problem? Prevent meltdown mode, recognize the signs of when it will happen, and take the proper steps to prevent it! For example, she was getting overstimulated when they transitioned to “specials” like music and library. So she’d show up for music and be completely unable to sit still and listen, and would behave much like a child with ADD off his Ritalin. Instead of kicking her out of the class, her teacher now walks around with my daughter, one extra lap of the halls, to help calm her down before entering the class. By then the rest of the group is settled, and it isn’t overstimluating. And everyone wins.

    This school doesn’t sound like they are particularly trying, especially since they are blaming the mother. Should she have threatened the principal? Probably not. But if that is all she did, I hardly think that locking down the entire school was necessary.

    She’d do best to pull her boys and find a school district that cares.

    Reply
  4. Jenn   March 15, 2013 at 9:53 am

    Who are YOU to pass judgment on this mother?
    I can’t believe the way you ended your article. Is this an OpEd?

    Obviously, this mother is a HORRIBLE example of what can happen when we let our frustrations get the best of us, however; your thoughtless summarization at the end of this article is a perfect example of what is happening across the U.S. in many of our public schools. Due to cutbacks, they can’t help us parents with children who have behavioral issues WITHOUT VIOLENCE/ABUSE IN THE HOME and this leaves many of us extremely frustrated.

    You should speak more carefully when writing your thoughts. I’m disappointed that your report failed this mother again. She may not be an innocent at all, but what you failed to address OBJECTIVELY is that those of us with children on the autism spectrum are constantly struggling to figure out ways to help our children with their behavioral issues because the spectrum is FULL of behavioral issues.

    If I were to make a broad generalization about you and your newspaper, I would say that you are a bunch of lazy writers who never took a journalism class in how to write objectively or do research. Were you tired last night when writing for your deadline? What a judgmental, disgusting, LAZY summarization of our children and their disorders. Shame on you.

    “There are so many diagnoses these days that every time they revise the DSM it seems there are a plethora of new mental illnesses to ascribe our everyday woes; what used to be an energetic kid is now ADHD, somebody who was very meticulous is now OCD, and violent kids are now SPD.

    If this child is acting out in class and cannot control his impulses, look to the mother; violence begets violence.”

    Believe me Dawn, we all wish it was this easy…it would save all of us parents from spending hundreds of dollars each month on therapy to “get them to shape up”.

    Reply
  5. Kim   March 15, 2013 at 8:28 am

    I read an article about a mother who threatened a principal because her child wasnt receiving help and was having behavior problems. This hurts my heart. Yes, this mother was way out of line, but in a way I can understand from her perspective. Her child has special needs which the school, school system, and state apparently don’t acknowledge. So he is labeled as a “behavior problem”. From her actions, it does seem that perhaps she contributes to the overall problem, but deep down the frustration has been felt by all parents of children with Special Needs. What strikes me the most is one of the last paragraphs in the article:

    “There are so many diagnoses these days that every time they revise the DSM it seems there are a plethora of new mental illnesses to ascribe our everyday woes; what used to be an energetic kid is now ADHD, somebody who was very meticulous is now OCD, and violent kids are now SPD.”

    This “journalist” obviously did little or no research on the subject matter of Sensory Processing Disorder. To attribute violence to a broad diagnosis is not only factless, but dangerous and to indicate that SPD (ADHD or OCD) is a label that is overused for our “everyday woes” is simply ignorant.
    It is media like this that leads to misconceptions and assumptions that do so much harm to our children.
    If the author or anyone else would like to read more about SPD including relevant research and what it’s like to have a child with SPD …

    Reply
  6. spdmama   March 7, 2013 at 8:51 am

    I just found this article and will share a link on our website, which is dedicated to offering into to parents of children with Sensory Processing Disorder.

    Reply
    • Jenn   March 15, 2013 at 9:58 am

      SPDmama do not share it. It is horribly written, unfair, pejorative, divisive and LAZY.

      Reply

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