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Getting what we want in life

By Phyllis Dolinsky

As we go through our daily lives, many of us tend to look around and see things that we want for ourselves: a new car, a large screen TV, a great sound system, etc. It could also, more importantly in the long run, be non-material things, such as good or better relationships with the people around you, good grades in school or doing well in the work place.

These things are all attainable. To do this, we have to change how we ourselves go about getting our personal desires. During this process, we may also come to see the reality of how important these desires are in our lives.

Here’s how it works: You see a car drive by and you say, “Wow, someday I am going to have a car like that!” Then the car goes around the corner: out of sight, out of mind. The secret to getting what you want is simple. KEEP IT IN YOUR MIND. Don’t let the thoughts run away until you see your desired wish again.

When you were a child and you saw something you wanted, you were actively doing everything you could to get it. You daydreamed and dreamed about it. You told people you knew who could help you. You asked (begged) your parents. Could it be a birthday present? Could you take the trash out forever to get it? It was constantly in your thoughts. In fact, these thoughts could even interfere with your getting other things done in your young life.

The significance of this behavior as compared to your adult behavior was that by keeping your goal in mind, you were always working at some level to attain it.

Well, the same thing can happen to you as an adult. Again, the secret is to keep it in your mind, only this time you don’t share this with other people. It is your secret. The way to go about this is simple. Make a list of what you want. When you wake up in the morning, when you eat lunch at noon, when you have dinner at night and before you go to bed, spend about three seconds reading or just thinking about your wants. Again, don’t share them with anyone. By doing this, with time, the thoughts go from your conscious level to an unconscious level, and you start working towards what you want in life. Your goals become easier to get, and you are more relaxed about them.

If better grades are what you want, you will find yourself making the time to do what you have to without the negative effort. If it is better relationships, you will find yourself being a better listener, and you will be more relaxed and open to the people you care about. If it is a new car you want, you will see opportunities open up that you didn’t see before even if it is only a way of saving for it.

This does not happen overnight, but it actually works.

Again, make your private wish list. Think about it four times a day (about 10 seconds total). See what happens. You have nothing to lose and can reap big gains.