Michelle Bachmann Funny and a Fool


crazy eyesTea Party favorite Michelle Bachmann has made more “gaffs” than Vice-President Joe Biden.  In her case, she often meant what she said, and proved she was both funny, and a fool.

“I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970’s that the swine flu broke out under another Democratic President, Jimmy Carter.  And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it’s an interesting coincidence.”

According to the TEA Party, everything is Obama’s fault.  That’s almost as foolish as saying “every time we have a Republican President, we go to war.”

“Not all cultures are equal.”

She’s right about that, and the United States government has the responsibility to help our nation become equal with others.

“A woman, Terry Schiavo was healthy.  There was brain damage, there was no question.  But from a health point of view, she was not terminally ill.”

She wasn’t the only one who was brain dead.

“And what a bizarre time we’re in, when a judge will say to little children that you can’t say the pledge of allegiance, but you must learn that homosexuality is normal, and you should try it.”

That’s too dumb for me to make a comment.

“Gay marriage is probably the biggest issue that will impact our state and our nation in the last, at least, thirty years.  I am not understanding that.”

There are a lot of things she doesn’t understand.  Maybe her husband can help her understand more about homosexuality.

“Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful.  But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”

Ah, I get it, another ‘science class’ dropout.  If carbon dioxide replaces oxygen, does she believe we could still breathe?  Global warming is all a hoax?

“There are hundreds, and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”

If those scientists studied you, they would be more certain that there is ‘no intelligent design’.

“Normalization (of gayness) through desensitization.  Very effective way to do this with a bunch of second graders, is take a picture of ‘The Lion King’ for instance, and a teacher might say, ‘Do you know that the music for this movie was written by a gay man?’  The message is ‘I’m better at what I do because I’m gay’.”

Was Michelle Bachmann the model for the “Forest Gump” character?

“I just take the bible for what it is, I guess, and recognize that I am not a scientist.  I’m not a deep thinker on all of this.  I wish I was.  I wish I was more knowledgeable, but I’m not a scientist.”

If the words are un-jumbled, she’ saying she doesn’t believe in science.  And she doesn’t understand the bible.

And lastly, my favorite Bachmannism.

“If we took away the minimum wage, if conceivably it was gone, we could potentially virtually wipe out unemployment completely because we would be able to offer jobs at whatever level.”

I don’t believe she’d be willing to work for one dollar an hour.  As a comedian once said, “what is this minimum wage?  Does it mean that if it didn’t exist, employers wouldn’t have to pay workers anything?”  Yup.

On behalf of the somewhat intelligent members of the human race, thank you for not running for reelection.  We need intelligent, thinking individuals in Washington, and you certainly weren’t one of them.

James Turnage

The Guardian Express


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