Not something you thought you would read one day, right? Superman versus Batman, is an age old discussion, but might they now compete, for the best erotic love story? I mean it’s not like there is any love lost between Superman, and Batman. However both super hero’s most definitely have their erotic moments. If erotic is defined as arousal, desire, or excitement, and leaving the sexual part out of it. Because Superman is super wholesome, and never goes for the porno route, an erotic anti- hero if you will. (Unless we would still be living in the Mad Men era, then maybe it might be considered arousing to see a man being more wholesome than apple pie.) In one of the comics Sleez, the ultimate villain, knows how to control people’s minds, and tries to make Superman have sex with a super heroine on camera. However Superman’s wholesomeness, and strong morals get the better of him, and he stops this horrible porno from ever happening. (What a pity right, wouldn’t you have wanted to see the man of steel showing off? Superman versus super hot heroine?)
Batman is not really that much more of an erotic love story. Sure the Michael Keaton version had more steamy women in them than the Christopher Nolan versions. Because come on, who can compare Nicole Kidman, albeit in her glory days without botox, steamy Jerry Hall, and Posion Ivy ,portrayed by Uma Thurman, in a green leotard, (By the way, why did Christopher Nolan decide not to incorporate this character into the movie with Bane? Weren’t they supposed to be linked together?) with Doe eyed Katie Holmes, sister of Jake Gyllenhaal – Maggie, and Princess Diary Anne Hathaway? (Also apparently in this new version there was no longer any room for blondes. Admittedly in the Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Batman installments, the ladies were usually blond. So now we can call it even. Blondes versus Brunettes, who would you want to win?
Will the next installment of Superman, Man of Steel, finally show off his steel nerves, and ask Lois to dinner, and maybe some dessert at home? Wouldn’t we love to hear some form of the exclamation that Andrew Garfield’s real life girlfriend, Emma Stone, uttered in Crazy Stupid Love: “Seriously? It’s like you’re Photoshopped!” in the new Superman movie? Because that scene with Ryan Gosling was pure sexy erotic steamy stuff. It would mean Lois Lane versus Superman, an erotic love story, finally, we just had to wait for decades to witness that. A cross over could also be very interesting, Lois Lane falling for Batman, and Superman going after them both. True Italian vendetta style. Maybe even going as far as putting a horse head in their love nest, and calling them up with a deep voice making them both an offer they can’t refuse. This might have been possible if Mario Puzo was still alive. (Mario Puzo wrote Superman: The Movie and The Godfather.)
Here is hoping that one day the super hero’s star together, and create the most epic erotic love story, for sure nobody would hesitate to see this wondrous thing. However for now: Superman versus Batman a never ending comparison.
By Georgina Pijttersen