Why Do We Have to Say ‘Gay’?

Why do we have to say gay

We live in a world defined by our beliefs.  We largely shape our beliefs by what we see, or think we see in the world around us.  It is a catch-22 of sorts as the lines become muddled between what we believe, and therefore see – and what we see and henceforth believe.  We have also all been gifted with what appears to be either a ‘man’ or a ‘woman’ suit.  That’s right, our flesh covered skeletons are either adorned with breasts and vaginas or male genitalia, with very few variations.  In many cases, the womanly forms are accompanied by what we like to call ‘feminine’ behaviors, beliefs, emotions and attractions while the appearance of the masculine form often comes with ‘manly’ actions, desires and a somewhat an emotionally shallow nature (no offense guys).  Until very recently in human history the lines between the sexes seemed to be drawn nice and clear, though in today’s day and age this is not anymore the case.  One could say that we are rising above our external monkey suits in order to embody a more whole version of the divine human we are all capable of – so why do we have to say someone is ‘gay’ anyway?

Battle for Equality

I suppose if we have still not gotten over the difference in skin color after all this time and battle for equality, the mess that has been made over religious differences and cultural separation, why should it be expected that the human race could overcome the gender thing?  Yes, maybe we are not that advanced as a people just yet, though can we all just stretch our imaginations far enough to see a world where everyone is looked at as simply a whole human, not defined by their body parts and hormones?  If we can do this in the work place, which we are stretching to accomplish, why can’t we do it as an over-all practice of basic decency?  Do we really feel that someone is limited by the genitals they possess?  Are we really so shallow?

Crimes are being committed today in the name of ‘protecting’ the differentiation of sexual preferences.  A pastor in Iowa thought his behavior, which included raping over a dozen young boys in order to ‘rid them of gay tendencies’ was somehow legit and warranted, while he himself denied such tendencies within.  What is happening to the human race?  A Minnesota Archbishop blames his idea of the ‘devil’ as the force behind what people term ‘homosexual behavior’ while Joe Biden, the Vice President of our country condones ‘gay marriage’ as ‘the issue of our day’ – as legit as any heterosexual marriage – but still the distinction remains.

Could our hormonal system and body anatomy show up as one gender, but our essence be in fact, androgynous?   What if we contain the elements of both the masculine and the feminine inside each one of us no matter our physical gender?  According to eastern philosophies, this is exactly the case.  Perhaps we are just starting to wake up to our true identities as androgynous beings trapped in gender-specific forms.

Eastern philosophy and Androgyny 

In yogic philosophy as well as many other spiritual traditions worldwide, it is taught that the human system contains both the positive and the negative pole- masculine and feminine, pingala and ida or yang and yin.  When one is balanced in these energies they will use both hemispheres of the brain equally, experience a certain flow of balanced energy in the spine and exhibit qualities of both sexes purely and equally – in a natural holistic way.  For example, a woman, who has balanced her inner nature, would find that she was not only emotionally sensitive and nurturing, but also able to take action, use reason and conjure the attitude of a strong leader.  A man who has contacted his feminine nature would not only be strong physically, full of drive and ambition, but could just as easily tune into the energy present in a space, have empathy for others and be intuitively tapped into what is needed in any given situation.


In India, the terms to describe the masculine nature are: Shiva, Krishna, Rama, pingala, the sun, solar dynamic force and action.  The main deities that are ‘male’ tend to embody consciousness rather than action and are the force of awareness and ‘holding space’ for the other half – their consort – represented by the feminine force.  The female energy is known as Shakti, Rhadha, Sita, ida, the moon, chandra or the lunar force.  These energies are seen as active principles of life and can only be enlivened through the balance with their masculine – consciousness.  These concepts are not separate from each other, but instead denote the need for balance within.  When deities are shown as ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ there is also a deeper understanding that these forces both exist within each person, and must be joined or ‘married’ in order to find peace and enlightenment in life.  This in no way points to the need for two differing manifestations to marry each other in the external world – this is all inner symbolism for the masculine and feminine inside each being.

A New Relationship Model Emerging

So here we are, living in a day and age where much of this old knowledge is resurfacing.  People are practicing yoga, balancing their inner nature and seeking to live more authentically from a place of wholeness.  The new ‘relationship’ model is one where both partners find wholeness within themselves first, rather than ‘needing’ another to compliment or complete them.  The partnership occurs when two balanced people come together for mutual enhancement and joy, not ‘opposites attracting.’

These words ‘gay’, ‘lesbian’, ‘bi-sexual’, even ‘trans-gender’ seem to be losing their potency as one by one people are finding their wholeness within.  Why do we have to say someone is gay just because they find another whole person as a compatible partner existing within a similar body frame to their own?  The forces which enliven and activate each and every body are the same, when we look at the model of wholeness.  We all have the capacity to dynamically express masculine and feminine energy equally all the time.  Our bodies then become just enjoyable forms to dance within, but they do not define us, how could they?

Maybe instead of voting for ‘gay rights’ or ‘homosexual rights’ we ought to be making a stand for whole-humanness.  Let’s stand up for wholeness and if we have to vote at all, vote to see one another as equal, complete beings, no matter our external appearance or beliefs.

I may have a woman’s body, and maybe cannot pick up something as heavy as a male form can, but everything I am – which exists in my mind, emotions and energetic sphere are equal to what is accessible to anyone else – in a male or female body.  True, a male form cannot birth a baby, but they can still feel, tap into, experience all sides of what is happening on the inner realm.

Is it yet time that we stop defining people by their genitals?  When are we, as humans, mature and capable enough to stop with the judgments that separate us from one another – in any and every possible way?  When we can truly see equality – no matter the body form, color, race, religion, age – then we will know peace, and not until.  Why do we have to say someone is ‘gay’ or ‘Christian’ or ‘Asian’ or ‘young?’  When do we stop labeling and start seeing the being behind the eyes which is ageless, timeless and so much like us?  Hopefully the time is soon.


Written by: Stasia Bliss

Salon.com; Joe Biden Calls Gay Marriage ‘Issue of the Day’; Minnesota Archbishop article

4 Responses to "Why Do We Have to Say ‘Gay’?"

  1. Stanley James   September 16, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    we will have reached the promised land when we dont have to say “gay” (or str8)

    Soon SSM and SS couples will be seen as natural and fully accepted in progressive societies. We will when eg fixing up a SS attracted person hardly need to consciouly think about who to fix them up with – it will come naturally. M>M, F>F

  2. Cody   September 15, 2013 at 11:51 pm

    Chandra is not feminine in Hinduism.

  3. confidential   September 15, 2013 at 11:28 pm

    Excellent thesis on humanity! Gives me hope for reason overcoming humanity’s past mistakes. Maybe one day, when we can truly see people it will also be equally obvious that might fails to equal right and that the ends never justifies the means. Maybe. In the meantime, thank you for asking out loud “When do we stop labeling and start seeing the being behind the eyes which is ageless, timeless and so much like us?”


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