Will Charlie Hunnam Make a Good Christian Grey?


As the lead actors for the adaptation of “Fifty Shades of Grey” have been cast, the many ardent fans of the book have taken to the internet to voice their opinions on the casting choices. Some love them, some hate them. Dakota Johnson (which, by the way, would make an excellent stage name for a male gay porn star) has not; however, received near as much attention as Charlie Hunnam, who has been cast in the role of Christian Grey, and who some literary fans think would be good, and some others think should burn in hell.

Now, you might have noticed that I do not have a good opinion of the books. However, you might want to hang on for a few more paragraphs before you start calling me names in the comments (water off a duck’s back, I am writing this to save you from spending more money on something awful, not to vent). In the interest of full disclosure, I have not read the books, nor will I ever, and I will tell you right now exactly why: I have no interest in BDSM, and if I did, there is plenty of BDSM porn and clubs out there that could more than sate my thirst for that. I would not be waiting around for some softcore movie to come out on the subject, I would be living the fantasy. Also, “The Secretary” is available on the internet for free download, and has been for years.

As to the question first asked, will Charlie Hunnam make a good Christian Grey? That depends on who you ask. Many fans of the book were expecting Robert Pattinson, and Kristen Stewart (AKA Dead Eyes) to play the parts of Christian and Anastasia. But why?

Because “50 Shades of Grey” started out as fanfic of the “Twilight” series, starring Pattinson, and “K-Stew” as the protagonists in the movie adaptations.  Unfortunately for E. L. James, both of those actors now have more money than they could spend or give away in a lifetime, so they would never be interested in playing the lead characters in her first draft, titled “Master of the Universe,” which ,unfortunately, is not about He-Man, nor even in the finished novel, which has become a joke.


Now THIS is a movie I want to see.

As far as I know, Pattinson has never acted in any nude scenes in his career (I am not about to look that up, not in your wildest dreams), not even in “Cosmopolis,” where he pretends to get a prostate exam in a limo. And yes, that is an incredibly bad movie (Seriously, Paul Giamatti used to be a decent character actor, he needs to fire his agent).

Stewart, on the other hand, has done nude scenes in “On the Road,” presumably to avoid being typecast, so that is a “no” on her part too.

Now, when I was younger, I was in a relationship with a woman who wanted to be dominated. It was not a healthy relationship. For starters, she hardly ever said much of anything to me, and then, see if you can top this: Her husband was always in the room, and she was always blindfolded. She never saw my face, and that is how she wanted it. That is about as much as I am willing to say about the matter. If most people knew what bondage is like, they would turn around and run the other way. It is never sexy nor glamorous; but then, again what could E.L. James possibly know about sexiness or glamour?  Here is a picture of her:


I tried to look for a flattering picture.  Honest, I tried.

So will Charlie Hunnam make a good Christian Grey? That depends on whether he wants to be typecast the same way that Mickey Rourke was after he did “9 ½ Weeks” and “Wild Orchid.” It was all pretty much downhill from there. Smart people learn from their mistakes; but the smartest people learn from other people’s mistakes. In my lifetime I have seen porn actors starring in mainstream films gathering more acclaim than vice versa.

By Milton Ruiz

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