Kim Kardashian Beaten by Jennifer Lawrence?

kim kardashian

There’s talk going around the Twitternetz about how Jennifer Lawrence is more awesome than Kim Kardashian. I daresay that isn’t a real competition but let me count the ways.

  1. Kim Kardashian can’t act. Jennifer Lawrence has been acting since she was 14. She was in this indie film called “The Beaver,” playing this cool chick who befriends an odd guy whose parents are getting a divorce. It wasn’t a flashy role at all, but she has only improved since then, with her awesome portrayal of Tiffany in “Silver Linings Playbook,” for which, need I remind you, she won an Academy Award. What has Kim Kardashian acted in? I mean a real acting role, not her sex tape with Ray J. Or that godawful short-short-lived reality show H8trs. (Oh, Mario Lopez, you embarrassed yourself with that, too.)
  2. Kim Kardashian can’t dance. Want to see Jennifer’s cool dances? Check her out in Silver Linings Playbook. Kim bombed on Dancing with the Stars. She sucked so much she rated below Cloris Leachman, who had way more pep than Kim did.
  3. Kim Kardashian has no personality. Just watch a few episodes of her reality show, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, and you’ll soon discover everybody else has a personality but her. She’s as flat as cardboard. (Sorry, clearly I don’t mean  Kim’s bumpus rumpus.) Now, Jennifer Lawrence? Has oodles of personality. She is down to earth and funny as hell. Did you see when she photobombed Sarah Jessica Parker at The Met Gala earlier this year? She became speechless after Jack Nicholson approached her at an Oscars party. And she fell while walking up the steps to accept her Oscar. Countless funny moments, and charming as hell.
  4. Kim Kardashian was best friends with Paris Hilton. Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t have any embarrassing friends that we know of, but if she did? I wouldn’t mind, actually. I’d think it’s hilarious. Can you imagine Jennifer having a friend like Paris? Kim Kardashian and Paris had a lot in common, though I will be fair and say at least Kim works for her money. Yeah, it’s a cheap clothing line at Sears, but still.
  5. Kim Kardashian can’t sing. Kim sang and performed in this video called Jam. Don’t look it up, you’d just embarrass yourself, but yes, I watched it (the power of the devil compelled me) and I’m convinced that no matter how bad Jennifer would sound as a singer, it would be 10 times better than Kim Kardashian’s voice.
  6. Kim Kardashian’s wedding cost millions. I didn’t bother looking up the amount it cost but I remember reading everywhere that it was in the millions. Her wedding even cost more than Donald Trump’s wedding to his wife Melania. And then Kim divorces her husband after nearly three months? After all of that hoopla, that’s what it came to? Millions of dollars literally wasted. I just don’t picture Jennifer Lawrence being that wasteful.
  7. Kim Kardashian appeared in Playboy. This was after Kim’s sex tape came out. The weird thing is not that she posed for Playboy but that she acted so weird when previously unshown nude pics came out a few years later. She was embarrassed. I think it may have had something to do with her mother Kris, who is a domineering freak. Now, Jennifer? Would have done Playboy and probably laughed about it afterwards. That’s how cool she is.

By Juana Poareo


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