Satire – Black holes don’t exist–or so renown astrophysicist Stephen Hawking now believes, which has Representative Michele Bachmann livid about science. Hawking now claims that his original theories concerning black holes may have been his “biggest blunder.” In a recent paper Hawking wrote, which has yet to go through peer review, he has stated that black holes do not exist as we understand them.
The basic theory of black holes: they are regions of space/time so dense that light cannot escape the gravitational pull, and that they have event horizons, that is, a point of no return. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity allows for the existence of black holes, though quantum mechanics throws a paradoxical wrinkle in the equation in the form of a “firewall,” a region around the black hole made up of particles that have escaped it. This firewall, in a thought experiment, is believed to burn an astronaut to a crisp long before the black hole’s intense gravity could crush him or pull him apart.
So what does all of this have to do with presidential candidate hopeful Republican Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann? Nothing, besides inciting her to launch a diatribe against science in general and Hawking in particular. She was not shy about expressing her opinion that society’s biggest blunder is listening to scientists like Hawking. She goes on to say that if the theory of the existence of black holes was a mistake, how many other theories, such as evolution and climate change “foisted” upon society are also untrue? Bachmann goes on to suggest that students who were forced to learn about black holes in college should sue Dr. Hawking for a refund. She also proudly admits to not having taken any science classes in college.
Michele Bachmann’s livid attack on Hawking and science has also gained enough attention to result in a statement by Republican Representative and Chairman of the House Science Committee Lamar Smith:
“Going forward, members of the House Science Committee will do our best to avoid listening to scientists.”
Exactly who do the members of the House Science Committee plan on listening to on matters of science? That contradictory statement should have people scratching their heads trying to figure that one out.
Science is responsible for such things as the use of electricity for lighting and heating and power. Science is responsible for NASA’s existence and the plethora of space missions as a result, past and present. Science is responsible for advances in technology and the general increase in the quality of life since the use of rock and wooden tools. This is but a few things science is responsible for. Perhaps Bachmann could do without her cell phone, her computer, or her tablet? These devices are the result of computer science.
Bachmann has the potential to become a strong presidential candidate. Should she win, will her first major act in office be to dismantle NASA? Perhaps completely do away with the House Science Committee altogether? Remove the teachings of science in schools? Abolish all scientific research including those that may lead to cures of major diseases? Are scientists not allowed to make mistakes and reverse their thinking on such theories as the nature of black holes? The list could go on, but the real worry is that someone so lividly anti-science should gain power to accomplish any of those objectives.
By Lee Birdine
Satire
Sources:
The New Yorker
National Geographic Daily News
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24 Responses
Now we only need the US military to stop listening to generals and other sorts in uniforms, and they will be on the right track as a superpower.
These people are misquoting Hawkings…he NEVER said BLACK-HOLES DON’T EXIST!!! His question on his theory is whether something can escape a black-hole or not! He proposed nothing could escape but now that may not be so…and science never said they had the entire truth…it is a means and method of determining the truth! This entire area of theoretical physics is also to be given wide latitude for error!
This woman, whose IQ is on par with that of a turnip, has the temerity to challenge Stephen Hawking?
Ms. Bachmann went on to confirm the world is indeed flat
“Going forward, members of the House Science Committee will do our best to avoid listening to scientists.” Republicans – HAHAHAHHAHA
This article may be entirely satirical, but the actions and opinions of Bachmann and the Chairman of the House Science Committee are so true to form that it’s easy to take as reality.
This is the way science works. There never is a final answer; information is constantly updated and remolded.
In any event the change in Black Hole theory Hawking his talking about is on a pretty esoteric level and does not at change the facts that there are entities with near infinite gravity that do not allow the escape of light. The details of this Hawking himself for does not change that basic information.
Bachman is just looking for an excuse for her breathtaking ignorance of everything.
So when will the spherical nature of this planet be challenged?
It’s also a good thing that Stephen Hawking realized his error as the book TIE will demonstrate unequivocally exactly what these black hole effects are. Stand by America, the book of a lifetime will soon be released with all of the answers that have been sought.
What does TIE stand for?
Here we are living in the twentyfirst century and we are still electing people with degrees that are not based upon science. What does she think life is magic, supernatural, lol. Time is about transition from one old form of thought to new ones, and that is what the evidence proves. Those who continue to attempt to gain power using old ideas end up where they belong, in antiquated museums. The facts that are about to be revealed are irrefuteable, non-refundable, and will finally put most of this nonsense where it belongs, in a museum.
lol, well if she’s livid about this issue, when the book TIE is released it will shatter all of her remaining ideas about life. How is it that these kinds of people are able to have power over others. Besides, he only stated that black holes aren’t what he originally suggested, he still knows that a form of black hole effect exists.
Bachman is like the clown in the house. Bachman criticising Stephen Hawkings is like the ant shouting at the elephant. Religion is the only thing that has not changed for centuries, since it is a set of beliefs based on NO evidence. Science is based on evidence and as better understandings of that evidence comes on, we get a much better understanding of the fact that develops from that evidence. Do not look at science through the prism of religion. That is a mistake. ANyway, Hawkings did not say that blackholes dont exist, he only said that our understanding of black holes and how nothing escpaes from it might be flawed, since that is against Einstein’s laws of relativity and quantuan mechanics. He now believe based on evidence, that things do escape and the event horizon might just be an apparent horizon. But black holes do exist. but that would be a bit dense for a dense person like Backman. She should just stick with the bible.
She’s obviously a proponent of a return to the Dark Ages.
Anything from the mouth of Bachmann deserves a quick trip to the trash can. Aside from being an ill-elected comic character, she is the very voice of stupidity.
Hi guys,
We entirely agree that the article should be updated to reflect that its material is based upon satire. We are already planning edits to the article and apologize for the oversight.
Many thanks,
James.
To those pointing out that the piece is accidentally based on satire- you are absolutely correct. Please accept our sincere apologies for the error. We are working to get this corrected as soon as possible. We deeply regret the mistake. Thank you for your understanding.
It may be satire and is labeled such, but the basic premise of Bachman’s stupidity remains a fact as does the alteration in Black Hole theory by Hawking.
It is not scientists that deserve scorn, it is those in the popular culture that hold “science” as a religion that must not be challenged. Bravo Ms. Bachmann and anyone else willing to challenge the dogma.
presidential candidate? my gawd… just declare defeat in the next elections already, repubs.
You’re not the only person fooled by this piece of satire. Please acknowledge the error, clear things up now, and help keep others from making the same mistake!
Thanks Steve Fuller, sad thing is I thought it possible”.:-(
You DO realize that the New Yorker column you used as a source is a satire column, correct? I’m far from being a MB fan, but to try and paint this as any sort of truth is completely misleading.
Pearls before swine.