Obama Fights For Minimum Wage Among Drunken Zombie Public (Satire)


President Obama has been parading across these Divided States, in order to “fight” for a minimum wage increase. Depending on your political view, if you have one, it is assumed that this thing could go either way. There are those that say a minimum wage increase could hurt the economy; and on the other side, there are those that believe a minimum wage increase would help pull a decent amount of workers up and out of poverty. Really, what most analysts, journalists, economists, trend-setters, and non-partisan bullhorns seem to concede is that, something must be done. It seems exactly the thing to do, whatever it is, although why this country has been steered into this debacle in the first place is something that usually fades into the hot air of our highly corrupted political process. It’s getting more steamier and more lurid, by the second.

The entertainment industry is booming, and it is no wonder. Who really wants to be bored with dissecting how far this country is plummeting? It is much easier to put on a green shirt, to go out and celebrate the current holiday in whatever the current month happens to be. It is much simpler to go with whatever everybody else is doing. Leave the big decisions up to the President, and his trusty administrative politicians, tentacled to labor, profit and purchasing-power, by the endless tax code of which no licensed American citizen is able to escape or ignore. Surely it does not matter that the jackals with whom we have entrusted to represent our views, opinions and ideals have endeared themselves to banks, millionaires, Fortune 500, lobbyists, insurance companies, in order for themselves to become rich and stay elected. If the green on your shirt instead ends up representing a little splotch of vomit, then it is just as well. Probably it is time for a nap!

As for the rest of us watching the specters of the recent past haunting Obama and his declarative teleprompter speeches, we only seek humbly for the facts. In order to maintain a healthy and effectively functioning democracy, we need to understand what it means to foment proper discourse and debate. The non-political CBO (Congressional Budget Office) tells the uncaring public that if the minimum wage were to be increased, it would likely lead to the evaporation of 500,000 jobs. On the other hand, which is covered in warts, psoriasis, eczema and unsightly hairy moles, the CBO divines that raising the minimum wage would aide 900,000 out of their poverty. (Poverty, as is defined by the Feds.) It does not take a genius to understand here that Uncle Sam, and likewise Obama, has his hands tied, as per usual. With such a complex issue at stake for our workforce, does it not seem better to block it all out and go shopping for a Spring dress?

This is how the sleeping public begins to awaken to how badly it has underestimated its indifference to the crumbling world about them. They will have to cough up more dough, while getting less in return for their precious, pernicious buck. To say that this is how the game works would be insulting to the intelligence of a great deal of people. We all have work to do, and we all deserve something along the lines of a fair wage for our efforts. However, it seems that when one conducts itself criminally in positions of power and leadership, a behemoth amount of buying power is necessary to stave off the blame of being ruinous and catastrophic to the economic structure that does not even realize it is routinely being looted and degraded. At least this is what our local, state and federal institutions have come to represent.

Obama is fighting for an increase in the minimum wage because that is what he is expected to be doing. Some economists will regale his theory as a triumph; others will deflate his political ego faster that it was even inflated. The importance of this matter does not lie in the spewing of facts, charts, graphs or grandeur. What is important? Acknowledging and putting into action the resistance of a political system in an absolute bundling and transfer of wealth, as the population is continually convinced it is to be spoken for. Though as the money train slowly rolls off and into the abyss there is no telling how raucously it will resound our unspoken fears.

Satire By Bryan William Myers


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