Green Bay Packers Singles Can Now Find Love [Satire]

Green Bay PackersFans of the Green Bay Packers can now find love anywhere thanks to the latest dating web site, Cheese head singles looking for the love of a significant other who also who is a Green Bay Packer fan finally have a place to go. Obviously this was long overdue.

Of course some would argue Wisconsin is also a place where Packer fans can find one another but that would be missing the point. No Scrooge type views here. There really is a necessary service being provided here or so the web site would have you believe. Wisconsin native have spread all over the country, especially for warmer climates as they bravely left home to find a better (i.e. warmer) life for themselves.

These warriors will no longer have to go it alone though, thanks to this new website. Packer fans can connect from anywhere now, via the world-wide web and apparently they already are. A quick check of the web site showed over 1,500 members, with one-third of that group being women. What Packer fan dude would turn that down? That is much better odds than they usually get.

What sort of screening process is there? Questions like Brett Favre or Aaron Rodgers? Lombardi’s Packers or Lambeau’s Packers? Do you actually own a cheese head? Born a Green Bay Packer fan or was there a conversion? One would think these are deal breaking questions for a cheese head relationship.

Apparently this is what dating sites are coming to. Various factions of our society are insulating themselves even further, so why not football fans? If Christians, senior citizens and even Republicans have their own dating web site now (see Farmers Only) then why not cheese heads?

There can really be only two schools of thoughts on this. Fans of the NFC North Division, Chicago, Detroit and Minnesota (Vikings, Lions and Bears oh my) who have long hated the Green Bay Packers and their fans can sit back and laugh at this. As long as Packer fans stick to themselves and do not mix with others then no harm is done to anyone. (Truthfully, Bears fans view this as something akin to inbreeding.) This is a good thing.

Cheese heads would likely concur. Celebrating all those championships and wins over their lesser rivals without the bother of inferior fans is clearly preferable than having to mingle with them right? Actually the most ardent of Green Bay Packer fans likely view as a sort of fan purification, where they preserve their own kind. No comment is really necessary on that.

Is this really needed? Packer fans are everywhere. Even in Chicago, much to the chagrin of Bears fans. Right in the heart of Lakeview resides Will’s Northwoods Inn, a Wisconsin bar in Chicago. A Wisconsin bar that celebrates the Green Bay Packers and is full of Packer fans every Sunday during football season and surely an eyesore and source of shame for Bears fans in the neighborhood. 

No matter, Packer fans cannot be put down. This kind of scene exists across the country in every major city across the country. Packer fans always find a place to reunite. Celebrating their home, their common heritage and especially the Packers is a ritual for cheese heads. If they can do it in warmer weather or some than good for them.

The internet is just another extension of this. So what if Green Bay Packer fans can now find love on the internet. Good for them. Weird? Maybe. A running joke for their rivals? Definitely. Neither would have it any other way.

*Warning! For non-fans of the Green Bay Packers there has now been a confirmed incident of a Viking fan entering the site to cause mischief, only to fall in love with a cheese head.

Commentary by Mick Varner


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