Jill Duggar Will Go From One Man Controlling Her Sexuality to Another

Jill Duggar Will From One Man Controlling Her Sexuality to Another

Jill Duggar, the reality television star from the show 19 Kids and Counting on TLC will soon go from one man, her father, controlling her sexuality, to another: her new fiancé Derick Dillard. Duggar met Dillard over Skype after being introduced to each other by her father. Dillard used to be prayer partners with Duggar’s dad, who thought his daughter and Dillard would make a good match.

In extremist households like the Duggar’s the men often take it upon themselves to control the women’s sexuality and how that sexuality is allowed to be expressed. Duggar will not be allowed to kiss Dillard until their wedding day because she has been brainwashed by her fundamentalist Christian parents to think of sex as unnatural outside of marriage instead of the normal, natural and healthy expression is in when undertaken in any loving relationship.

In a new book called Growing Up Duggar, some of the Duggar’s gaggle of 19 children state that sex outside of marriage is wrong. “It’s easy to put yourself into physical and moral danger and give into those emotions or sensual thoughts that promise pleasant, but only temporary, fulfillment,” they say. According to their rationale, all relationships in which the couple is not married are unfulfilled; an assertion which is not backed by any actual evidence.

Interestingly, the boys and men in these types of fundamentalist Christian families don’t seem to have the same obsession with “purity” as do the females. They are content to control women by brainwashing them with negative messages about sex. Now, Jill Duggar will go from one man controlling her sexuality to another.

Duggar’s father Jim Bob personally controlled the decision about who his daughter would marry, and hand-picked Dillard for his daughter, further cementing the reality that her sexual choices are fully within his jurisdiction of power rather than hers. Since she is not even allowed to kiss Dillard until her wedding day, she currently has no idea whether or not the two have sexual chemistry together.

In the fundamentalist Christian tradition known as the “Quiverfull” movement, women are treated as no more than baby-making machines, and they have zero choice over their own reproductive desires. They are convinced that it is their very purpose to keep popping out as many babies as possible without regard for how many babies they may have wanted had they not had the misfortune of being born into a family that views women as nothing more than incubators.

An online blogger who was raised in a fundamentalist Christian household says she was taught that women’s sexuality was inherently unclean but at the same time, that childbearing was her only real reason for existing. “I grew up with a mix of ignorance and shame about sexuality that was no accident,” she writes. She also learned that “women’s sexuality and reproduction (is) inherently unclean at the same time that this is considered a big part of their purpose in life. And there’s the attitude we keep coming up against everywhere – women are dirty whores who should just be making babies.”

In an editorial for the Daily Beast, author Amanda Marcotte says that the Quiverfull movement is all about men controlling women completely and that women in these types of families are not even allowed to seek higher education. Marcotte says the movement is focused on “absolute female submission, a ban on dating, homeschooling, a rejection of higher education for women, and shunning of contraception in favor of trying to have as many children as humanly possible.” In these kinds of families, the man is the absolute patriarch while the woman is fully expected to submit to him.

Thus, Jill Duggar will go from one man controlling her sexuality to another, and will never know the personal freedom that other women enjoy—freedom which should be granted to all people: the right to control their own bodies, sexuality and reproductive choices without being brainwashed and controlled by a male patriarch, whether that be a father or a husband. So, while Duggar is all smiles in the photos of her and her new fiancé who her father selected for her, deep down, she may feel a justified sadness; the sadness that comes with knowing her life never was and never will be fully her own.

Opinion By: Rebecca Savastio


Daily Mail


The Daily Beast

44 Responses to "Jill Duggar Will Go From One Man Controlling Her Sexuality to Another"

  1. Meaghen Powers   February 20, 2015 at 8:34 pm

    The way the Duggars live is not true Christianity and not based on the Bible. Jesus never taught for Dad’s to select their adult children spouses or to decide the career paths or control dates of their adult Children. The Duggars treat their adult children like they are preteens/teenagers. I am a 29 single Catholic educated female and I work and yes I believe in God and believe Sex is for marriage; however, I was raised in a household and in Church community that believes marriage is 50/50 takes both male and female to make marriage successful, children are a Gift from the Lord, but most Catholics have between 2-3 kids not 19 like the Duggars. Also, most Catholic women in North America work or have some education/business and are not living like the Duggars.

    Most Catholic women wear pants, some go to College/University, most work either part-time or full time and few Catholic women I know are submissive housewives, most Catholics date one on one before they marry, kiss before they marry and yes many have premarital sex and are still practicing Catholics because they believe God can forgive sins and adult life is about making choices/decisions and we believe although a mortal sin we all fall short of the Glory of God and are in need of a Saviour Jesus Christ and that Jesus Christ can forgive premarital sex. For the Duggars even kissing before marriage is considered wrong, which Biblically it isn’t only sex before marriage is.

    The Duggars are obsessed with keeping their children chaste/virgins for their wedding night, that is sick. They do not allow wedding receptions/dancing or any form of alcohol at weddings which is so unbiblical considering Jesus changed water into wine at a wedding himself and danced with guests. Basically the whole focus of a Duggar wedding, is to get married, toast with a rootbeer float, take some pictures, then get into the car to head to consummate the marriage. These couples go from doing nothing not even kissing, holding hands, spending any time alone together, to full on intercourse over a course of a couple hours, that’s sick and wrong. I am sorry I cannot even imagine marrying the first guy I kissed, there is nothing special about saving your first kiss ever for your wedding day as the Duggars claim. The point of dating is to discover if there is Chemistry, to get to know each other one on one, to get to know each other families, to experience things alone together as a couple without family or friends involved, to work on boundaries together- the couple not parents must decide what is appropriate and what isn’t appropriate in a relationship, the couple should spend as much time they can together before deciding to marry.The point of dating is not corrupting the soul but to discover if you are truly soulmates and should marry or not.

    The Duggars are not true Christians, in the Bible God gave humans free will and parents do not have authority over legally aged/adult children, parents only have spiritual authority over under-aged children. Jesus also came to Save not Condemn the world and the Duggars condemn everyone who doesn’t follow or believe in their Quiverful lifestyle. If Jill was my daughter and she was under 18 years of age and still in High School you bet as a Catholic I’d be supervising her and discouraging serious dating and premarital sex, but I couldn’t do that to my 23/24 year old daughter. Because adults are responsible for their own sin and decisions they make, and they are not children/teenagers to be told what they can or cannot do.

    I think it is sad that JIm Bob would not allow Jill to go to nursing school, what type of a father does not want his daughter to go to College, an idiotic one!!!!! Most dads are happy and proud when their daughters get to go to College and are even more proud when they graduate and work in fields they love. This has nothing to do with supporting or not supporting premarital sex, this has to do with how cult like and demeaning the Duggar family is towards their adult children.

    Anyways the Duggars lifestyle has nothing to do with Christianity or their relationship with Jesus Christ.

  2. Sherry   October 7, 2014 at 10:24 am

    EVERYONE will have their answers one day. I find most of the above comments absolutely disgusting. Why is everyone soooo interested in what one family is doing? Is there not more news worthy topics out there for people to write about? All this behaviour of tearing people down because they don’t fall within the “norm” is childish! God (yes, I believe!) demands absolute faith in him and that is exactly what they are doing. And guess what…they have raised THE MOST respectful, happy, well rounded children I have seen. They don’t throw hissy fits when they don’t get the newest phone. They don’t DEMAND their parents pay for the latest and greatest! Instead they are building a servants heart and giving/serving others and WITH A SMILE AND A THANK YOU. I seriously fear for the younger generations nowadays. Their sense of entitlement is preparing them to fail in anything they do. I think a lot of people young and old could learn a lot from families like this! I can’t wait for the rapture (many of you will have to look that one up) because the world we live in makes me ill

  3. Elizabeth   October 4, 2014 at 8:25 am

    HOW SAD is it that nowadays the “normal” IS to be having sex before marriage…. The author is ludicrous enough to say that people must test their sexual chemistry before getting married… That is what is wrong with this world…. everything is about sex and not about God… God wants what is best for all of us, that is why He clearly states to stay abstinent and flee from all sexual sin… That’s why our world is the way that it is! And it’s only going to get worse and worse.

    • vardarac   October 5, 2014 at 9:20 am

      You and the secular world will never see eye to eye because you believe there is a God and we do not.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login