On The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, his first guest was legendary guitarist, Keith Richards, from The Rolling Stones, and Fallon talked with him as if they were best bros. Richards talked about both the group and a children’s book he wrote, called Gus and Me. Fallon’s second guest was actress Debra Messing, who plugged her new series The Mysteries of Laura. Then, Jimmy’s musical guest was the band The Replacements.
Jimmy Fallon begun the Tonight Show with his monologue. He said that “Amazon just cut the price of the Fire phones to .99 cents. Blackberry said ‘At least go out with some dignity, man.”
He joked about the House Republicans hiring a law firm to sue President Obama. He showed a fake commercial from the law firm, in which a “lawyer” said “We’ll fight for your right to make the President’s life a little more annoying.”
“There’s a man in Australia making news. He woke up from a coma speaking Chinese. Then, an actual man from China met him and said, ‘Nope; he’s only being racist.”
Jimmy Fallon then mentioned that Morgan Freeman landed a plane all on his own. He played an audio clip of someone imitating Freeman’s voice supposedly landing the plane that was pretty funny.
Jimmy said “The show’s almost too good tonight, that’s how good it is. This man is an absolute Rock ‘n’ Roll legend, and now he’s added being a children’s author to it — Keith Richards! And, from The Mysteries of Laura, Debra Messing! I’m very excited about this — for the first time in 25 years, The Replacements!”
Then, as it is a Tuesday, Fallon did his “Pros & Cons” comedy bit. “Pros and Cons: of Dating Britney Spears,” Fallon said, adding “Let’s hear it from her, herself: Ladies and gentlemen, Britney Spears!”
“You’re out there, in the dating pool, looking for Mr. Right. Before the show, you let us sign you up for Tinder. You’re excited about being on Tinder?”
“Oh, yeah– I’m thrilled.”
Jimmy said the “Pros,” and Britney said the “Cons.” They mentioned more than the two below, but the two will give an idea of what the comedy bit was like.
“Pro: You can cuddle in bed and watch TV together,” Jimmy Fallon started off. Then, Britney said “Con: “It’s the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.”
“Pro: Today she released a brand new lingerie and sleep wear line.” Britney said “Con: Jimmy is wearing it right now underneath his clothes.”
After that, Jimmy Fallon introduced his first guest of the show. “Our first guest is one of the best guitarists of all time. And now, he has written a children’s book about a boy who gets his first guitar called Gus and Me. Ladies and gentleman, Keith Richards!”
“Is there anything about arrests or drug abuse in this book?” Fallon asked.
“Not in this one,” Keith said, and told him that The Rolling Stones just wrapped up their tour and they were writing songs for another album.
“The last time I saw you, I stopped by the studio and you were recording a solo album.”
“I made the album with Steve Jordan, but it’s not out yet. I have to wait for the Stones to say it’s okay.” This is slightly paraphrased as are pretty much all the “quotes” in this recap.
Jimmy Fallon then held up and showed a photo of Richard’s fifth grandson. He asked Keith what the bracelets on his wrist were for. “This one is to remind me never to get arrested again. And this one is to remind me that beauty is only skin deep.”
“Are you on the couch? Do you watch cartoons now?” Fallon asked Richards.
“Yes; among my five grandchildren, I have one that’s 18 years old and is modeling in New York, and I have one who is younger and that’s happily crapping in his pants.”
“Happily Crapping in Your Pants is the name of your solo album, right?” Jimmy Fallon asked, jokingly.
Keith laughed, and then told Fallon the plot of his children’s book that his grandfather hung a guitar on the wall and told him “When you can reach it, it’s yours.”
Talking about Richards and asking him about one of his idols, Chuck Berry, Fallon asked “I heard that Chuck Berry punched you in the face?”
“Yes, he did.”
“What did you do?” Fallon asked.
“We were in his dressing room and I was messing with his guitar. He walked in and said ‘Nobody messes with my guitar!’ and he hauled off and punched me in the face.”
Keith Richards said that his grandfather told him if he learned how to play Malaguena, he could learn to play pretty much anything. He said that he is still learning, though. He said that the first song he ever wrote was with Mick.
“Last name, please?” Fallon asked him.
“Jagger, Sir Mick Jagger,” Keith answered him.
He said their manager locked them both in the kitchen and told them “Don’t come out until you have written a song.’ Eventually, we came out with As Tears Go By.” The audience applauded.
Keith’s daughter is the artist who drew the illustrations in Keith’s book and there is a CD included with the it, of Keith Richards reading the book out loud. His granddaughter who illustrated the book, Theodora, was in the audience. Fallon brought Theodora onstage.
“You actually drew us talking?” Fallon asked.
“I did, I did,” she said, and gave Jimmy Fallon the picture she drew.
“This is awesome,” Jimmy Fallon told her. “I will frame it.” Then, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon went to a commercial break. When it comes back, actress Debra Messing will be his second guest.
“You look gorgeous! Welcome to the show! I like your earrings!”
“Just for you, baby!” she said. She told him her son, Roman, wanted to say “hi” to him.
Fallon said when her son talked to him, he talked like he was an adult. Then, he told her “You were born in Brooklyn — so was I. Why don’t you have a Brooklyn accent?”
She told him it was going to NYU, but confess that when she got drunk the New York Brooklyn accent came out. She then told him that she learned Circus Skills in college, how to walk the tight rope and even juggle.
Jimmy Fallon happened to have three balls for her to juggle with, and she did a great job. Fallon tried, and dropped them all.
“I would call home and I’d be crying, saying ‘I can’t juggle!'” She said that her parents commented that that was sure not a waste of their money, for her to go to college to learn how to juggle.
Jimmy asked her about The Mysteries of Laura. She called it a “Dramady.” She said that Josh Lucas, in the show, is soon to be her ex-husband. The reason is he is a “philanderer.” Their kids are hellions who get kicked out of school about every week, she said. The video clip Fallon showed from The Mysteries of Laura looked like it will be an amazing series.
The Tonight Show came back from yet another commercial break and Jimmy Fallon introduced his musical guests, the band The Replacements. “They are in the midst of their first tour since 1991. Performing Alex Chilton, The Replacements!” Jimmy Fallon said.
The Replacements ROCKED THE SONG OUT! Paul Westerberberg and Tommy Stinson of the original band, The Replacements, have remade the band and they are on tour now. They got banned from Saturday Night Live for being drunk the last time they performed there in 1986.
It was another great episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. It is not every night of the year that the legendary Keith Richards appears on a talk show. He is looking his age, 70 (he was born on December 18, 1943), but he has lived an exciting life and he has done more than his share of illegal substances. Still, he has had the time to also establish a family and have kids and grandkids and Jimmy Fallon talked with him as if they were best bros. Debra Messing’s new show, The Mysteries of Laura, looks like it will be a winner. It was great news for fans of The Replacements that they have gotten back together and are on tour and they did a great job singing their classic hit, Alex Chilton.
Written By Douglas Cobb