Millions of people are currently scraping the bottom of the proverbial barrel looking for great sex. However, it never fails that when one finds a partner worth sharing the goods with, everything afterward seems to snowball on a quick discouraging road straight to Hades. Marriage does not seem to be shielded from this heart-aching phenomenon as more and more couples are complaining about their shared intimate life. Leading the march on masturbation, dateless singles who are 30-years-old and up are discovering that sex is better off done alone!
Masturbation has by far been one of the most taboo subjects in many circles. Intimacy (period) is often a subject that separates people faster than race, education, or political standing. However, if one is lucky enough to get past the taboo of it all, masturbation is still an awkward and uncomfortable discussion to have. What toys does one use? What type of lubrication does one like? All questions that many people often find out on their own, without the help of friends.
In a poll done on Facebook, users were asked how many times they masturbate. The results were surprising. Whereas men were found to masturbate more times in one day, women were found to masturbate more times in one week. Of those coupled and single, the latter group of people masturbated only 20 percent more than those in an actual relationship. With numbers like these, some may think that people prefer fingers, toys, and palms more than the actual act involving a partner. However, according to Sexuality and Disability, a website dedicated to education and exploration, masturbation is still considered sex!
Google defines the word as the attempt to or act of arousing someone. According to Sexuality and Disability that someone can very well be one’s self. The problem that most single people have with talking about masturbation is that it makes them feel as though they are seen as “less than.” The stigma that sex equals popularity or some heightened level of coolness is a trend that many are trying to escape. Therapists say that masturbation can actually be healthy as it not only helps a person discover who they are sexually, but releases tension that can build up from everyday stress.
Religious groups, on the other hand, deem the act as an abomination saying that any such act done, alone or with someone else, is an act that defies the very rules of God. Nyke Harris, a Christian sex therapist and life coach, however, disagrees with the masses and endorses the idea that masturbation is, in fact, better single. “The Bible says nothing about masturbation directly, however, it does speak to lust which could be a biblical standing on why masturbation is wrong. However, as a sex therapist there are some health benefits for a person who engages in the act. Emotional stability being the at the top of the list.”
Could the exploring of one’s cavernous genitalia or caressing one’s protruding member actually help stabilize an emotional state? Many who regularly engage in the act say yes! Yes, it can! Leading dating experts agree that being single comes with many perks, above all, the ability to sexually please one’s self without the hassle of considering another person’s feelings, needs, dislikes or hang-ups. All in all when it comes down to the taboo subject of sex with self, the consensus (especially on social media) is that it is definitely better single. Whether because it is with self or because of the freedom to choose multiple partners, one may never truly know.
Opinion by Danyol Jaye
Sexuality and Disability- Masturbation
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Feature Photo Courtesy of Bjo_’s Flickr Page- Creative Commons License.