Top Five Weird Google Sex Searches


What is considered to be weird is highly subjective, but there are certain subjects or things that people in the United States who have typed in Google searches related to sex that probably most people would find to be weird. Coming up with a Top Five list of these Google searches about things people have wondered about sex was difficult, as there are so many weird Google searches people have made about the subject. Also, there are likely people who will quibble about the exact order of the Top Five Weirdest Google Sex Searches. This article also does not deal with overtly pornographic Google searches that people have, more than likely, done in the past.

There are a growing number of companies who are learning more and more about the sexual habits of consumers than most people would care to admit. Besides Google, where we reveal all too much about ourselves through our searches, an article at The Next Web website points out that companies such as Target and Amazon — Walmart could be added to the list — can roughly figure out when a woman has become pregnant by the types of products they search for to buy, like larger diaper bags, magnesium and zinc supplements, and other products.

The companies can also approximate the due dates of women. They do not necessarily care about when people have sex, but being able to figure out the buying habits of people can benefit the companies economically.

5.) At number 5, it is interesting to know which sexually-related terms or topics people search for the most from state to state. The costs of various products or services searched for by using Google have been compiled into the form of a map, it turns out. An article about this in the Daily Mail, with a map of Google searches done in the United States, shows that “Prostitute” is a service that people in Nevada have searched for the most, as far as how much one costs.

On a perhaps related search, people in two states seem to the the most curious as to how much vasectomies cost. The two states where more people have used Google the most to search for the cost of vasectomies are…drum roll, please…South Dakota and a state the happens to neighbor Nevada, Arizona.

The costs of “Breast Implants” was searched for the most in Arkansas and Indiana. The state in which the most people have searched for the cost of “Breast Lifts” is Oklahoma.

4.) “Sex in a Walmart” is an actual Google search people have sometimes wondered about. At least one couple has, it seems, practically tried to have sex while shopping in a Walmart, according to an article in the Huffington Post that was also reported on by several other media sources. The two people were arrested at a Walmart in Hutchinson, Kansas, for having allegedly stolen K-Y Jelly and then fondling each other in front of other store customers.

There have also been some people who have engaged in sex while inside of cars in the parking lots of Walmart stores. A high school teacher in Pennsylvania, for example, was accused of having sex with a student while parked in a Walmart parking lot, and in North Carolina in 2009, an 83-year-old man reportedly had sex with a 25-year-old woman in a Buick, and both wound up getting arrested. Now, if it was a Lexus…but, that probably would only happen in front of a Dillard’s, not a Walmart.

3.) Oh, Wise Google, why is my marriage sexless? An article at the Fusion site states that the search term “sexless marriage” was searched for by users of Google far more often than “loveless marriage.” How much more often? Try three and a half times as often. Perhaps this Google search is more sad than it is “weird.”

2.) Type into Google the search term “sex with a tree” and very likely one of the first million hits showing will be a story reported by, about a man in Florida who was high on a drug called “Flakka.” Witnesses who called the cops stated that he had sex with a tree and kept yelling that he was “God.” Police who arrested the man said that he told them he was “Thor.” He was fired at by Tasers twice, and it did not slow him down, at all. He just pulled out the probes. He also attempted to stab one of the officers with the policeman’s own badge.

1.) A Google search for “Strange Sex Laws” might prove to be very useful to any adult who enjoys traveling and having sex in America. Knowledge can be power and it just might keep a person out of jail, as well.

Do not travel to Minnesota with the intent of having sex with a live fish, as it is against the law there. Also, Note to Fans of PDAs: Beware the town of Halethorpe, Maryland, where it is against the law to kiss for more than a minute in public.

All of these five topics are actual Google search terms, some more odd or weird than others. Birds do it, bees do it — one of the things that separates humans from them is that have neither the ability nor inclination to Google and read about “it.” Silly, non-computer=using birds and bees….

Written and Edited By Douglas Cobb

The Next Web: These companies know more about your sex life
than you might be comfortable with
Daily Mail: Facelifts are favorite in California but more
North Carolinians want a nose job: Map of the most searched
for goods and services in each state
Man Cave Daily: 5 Weird Search Terms You Used, You Goon
Huffington Post: Walmart Sex Arrest: Couple Accused Of Stealing
Lubricant, Sexual Fondling In Store
Fusion: Do these Google searches really reveal our deepest sexual anxieties?
Fox News: Man high on Flakka attacked officer, said he was God,
had sex with tree, police say
Metro: 14 of the strangest sex laws which could land you in the slammer
Photo Courtesy Toshihiro Gamo’s Flickr Page – Creative Commons 2.0

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