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Megachurch pastor John Gray is in jeopardy again with alleged infidelity. In early 2020, After being on the air for three seasons, the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) pulled the plug on Gray’s reality show, “The Book of John Gray” due to similar allegations and other controversies. Among those disputes were an apparent scandal that involved an extramarital affair that Gray seemed to acknowledge before insisting the relationship, while inappropriate, was not physically cheating with “that strange woman.” Additionally, he became the victim of a lawsuit from a former employee of Gray’s Relentless Church.
At that time, the South Carolina pastor told his congregation that his wife, Aventer Gray, discovered that he had started “listening to the wrong voices and let some people get too close … she set it off just like a good wife should.” His wife then revealed to their congregation that one of those wrong voices belonged to a “strange woman,” whom she fought off with prayer and Scripture. During that revelation, Gray’s wife stood stoically by his side.
Less than one year later, the pastor is in jeopardy again with another infidelity. This time, Gray FaceTimed himself into another cheating scandal. In a recorded video posted on “unWinewithTashaK,” the South Carolina pastor lands another high-profile cheating scandal. In addition to the video, texts allegedly between Gray and Mary show him offering to pay her $200 to put her cleavage that was nestled in a pink two-piece on display for him. Another video shows Gray offering a Cabo rendezvous for the two of them, promising a feast that signals one’s most predatory tendencies. After news got out, fans who had previously forgiven his actions sounded off.
On Sunday, in the wake of new allegations of infidelity, some of which he admits is true, Gray faced his church alone and publicly apologized to his wife and his church, declaring that this time, his repentance would be true. The pastor told his congregants that he is submitting to “a process of restoration” that will at times take him away from his church. Gray said:
To my church, I am sorry. You have gone through enough. From cars to meetings with leaders that have caused great pain and deep division amongst political ideologies to one thing after another. I want to tell you I’m sorry. The standard has not changed. Holiness is still right. And I want you to know that it is my prayer from this moment of true repentance that you will see emerge from this moment a pastor that you can be proud of.
I’m sorry for the areas of my life that I left unattended, that I was apathetic about, the areas where I have treated the calling of God, the grace of God, and the hand of God casually in my life. For every area of behavior that has dishonored the holiness of God, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. There have been a number of things, blogs, some of them accurate, some of it not. But all of it, my responsibility.
I apologize for putting the name of God in harm’s way and I and I alone take the responsibility for the actions that harmed and injured God’s sheep. No matter how many pseudo-excuses one can hurl in a moment like this, for the purposes of self-preservation, all of them ring hollow when all that is truly needed is the truth.
This strenuous process was not sought after previously because, according to Gray, “he incorrectly assumed that his church could not survive financially without him always at the helm.” He now understands that change is not an option but something he must aggressively seek. He added:
I never submitted to anybody in those other areas, whether through shame fear or an inflated sense of worth. Well, the church needs me to keep preaching so that everybody can be able to take care of their families. If God needed someone who was stuck in sin to help Him then I ain’t read the Bible.
God’s Church is His business and it is my prayer that a mature Relentless Church will continue to sow into this great work while I continue to seek the help, the health, the healing and wholeness that I deserve. My kids deserve a whole father, not a fragmented puzzle piece of a man. Some weeks you’ll see me. Others you won’t.
Gray is in the hot seat again with another alleged infidelity. When referencing his wife after the initial infidelity allegation, Gray spoke about how immature he was and how much pain his wife endured while he navigated the growing pains of manhood. Despite having their own children to raise, far too often, the African American male shows up for their marriage and/or fatherhood late. He spoke of it in a positive manner, but the truth is this “Peter Pan Syndrome” which includes the growing phenomenon of men who refuse to grow up is abuse. Men who expect their wives to raise them are abusing – abnormally using – their spouses. This is a common cycle that needs to be broken.
Women can be great helpers and allies but projecting one’s unmet mothering needs (and related psychic injuries) onto a woman is a recipe for disaster for both the man and the woman. This can never be an acceptable excuse for infidelity. While Gray is a great orator of the Bible, he must now rededicate his efforts to practicing what he preaches.
Pastor Gray is in jeopardy again with alleged infidelity It is not known what the end will be concerning Gray’s recovery process, however, the pastor has assured his congregation that as an organization it will “continue to serve the Lord, reach the lost, and serve the community.
Opinion by Cherese Jackson (Virginia)
YouTube (TashaK): Pastor John Gray’s Other Woman EXPOSES Him for being UNFAITHFUL to his Wife!
Huffington Post: Men and the Mother Wound
Greenville Online: John Gray: Relentless Church pastor apologizes
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