Father’s Day Is Not for Single Mothers

Father's Day

Contrary to the cultural campaign identifying single mothers as candidates for Father’s Day, this day is designed to honor the men who acknowledge their children and hold their roles as dads in high esteem. According to the dictionary a father is a male who has child, a male parent or father-in-law, an adopted father or step-father. Any person that does not fall under those guidelines Father’s Day is not for them.

Although there are many painful and legitimate reasons women find themselves raising their children alone, that does not qualify them to be considered fathers. Often women are thrust into the role of a single parent due to circumstances outside of their control; things like abusive relationships where the woman had to leave her abuser, her partner dies or she was raped and decided against an abortion. There are also times when a woman finds herself rearing her children alone as a result of her own decisions and the consequences thereof .

With divorce rates being at an all time high sometimes the father splits and abandons his responsibilities where the children are concerned; his responsibilities are not just financial. Far too often when couples separate the mother forces the father to stay away and even uses “child support” against him. Whatever the reason a mother finds herself a single mom, being celebrated on Father’s Day is ludicrous and makes as little sense as a single father being recognized on Mother’s Day.

Do not misunderstand the point being made, the mothers who have the difficult task of managing the lives of their children alone should be honored and respected but according to the definition a woman simply cannot be a father. A child needs both parents but the roles these parents occupy are unique and equally invaluable. Even within the current culture that appreciates and encourages same-sex parents there will either be two dads or two moms.

The concept of Father’s Day was inspired by a single dad who embraced the challenge of raising his six children alone after his wife died. By including mothers who are single on a day designed for fathers helps the male role in the child’s life become further devalued. Men who are involved in the upbringing of their children should be honored, celebrated and appreciated; not undervalued. Mother’s Day is always in May and, for those that do not know, Single Parents’ Day is in March.

To spread the “love” to single moms on Father’s Day is not as empowering as it might seem. Contrariwise it capitalizes on a self-inflicted wound and stunts the process of healing. The truth is parents should be honored and appreciated every day in their respective roles.

This is not a personal issue it is a community crisis that leads a woman to believe she can do the job of a man. No matter how courageous a woman is, just as many men who are left to raise their children alone are not mothers; the role of the father is not one that can be filled by a woman. This does not take any credit away from the “Wonder Woman” that she is and the hard work she invests in taking care of her family. These things just make her an amazingly strong woman but biologically not a father.

By all means as a society we should continue to find ways to strengthen, empower and honor single women who continue to hold it down for their families. They deserve honor for their extreme commitment and dedication – just not as an equal to a male on Father’s Day, this day is for men.

There are many who will disagree with this thought process primarily because their emotions are tied to their reasoning. The definitions are clear; a male parent is a father and a female parent is a mother. When a mother is the sole party responsible for her children she is being a parent; a great one but not a father.

There is a cultural campaign which seeks to honor motherhood on Father’s Day. This day is designed to celebrate the men who embrace their roles as dads. Although a well-intentioned gesture, telling single moms that they are fathers too does not help the crisis many women are now left in or does it encourage men to step in and step up. As much as it pains some hardworking mothers to accept, Father’s Day is not for single mothers. In conclusion, from the newest father to the most seasoned grandfather “Happy Father’s Day!”

Opinion By: Cherese Jackson (Virginia)

Source:

Alabama.com

Top Image Courtesy of Kelly Sikkema – Flickr License

466 Responses to "Father’s Day Is Not for Single Mothers"

  1. Pam   June 19, 2017 at 11:24 am

    Clearly, the people bashing the author for writing this article don’t have a clue…precisely the reason she wrote it. Nuff said.

  2. Cay James   June 18, 2017 at 11:30 am

    There’s not one single solitary word here that is going to stop me from wishing my mother a Happy Father’s Day because she was there in all the ways that counted when my father was not! If people are so hard-pressed to keep “Father’s Day” focused on males then maybe men need to start encouraging other men to actually BE fathers and to remember that being a father has more to do with raising your child well than it has to do with the 10-60 minutes it took to conceive one.

    • Alex   June 19, 2017 at 2:15 pm

      My problem is that nobody, literally NOBODY mentions single FATHERS on mother’s day. Fathers day is for fathers. NOT mothers. A mother can’t be a father. it’s physically IMPOSSIBLE.

    • Matthew McCann   June 19, 2017 at 4:34 pm

      believe it or not, cay, the world does not revolve around You. your world is Not how everyone else should live simply because your ego says so. your comment here only indicates that you lack emotional intelligence. until your mom grows a penis, despite taking you fishing or teaching you how to change the oil in your car, she will Never be a father.

    • Belle Madame   May 21, 2018 at 5:46 pm

      Cay James any parent playing both roles deserves the acknowledgement and appreciation. I invested my all as a single parent; what chioce did I have. There is a saying a “Women have children” but for a mother to fill in the void of a father who chooses to abandon his child/ children is a big load. I’m applauding you……

  3. Tiffany Booker   June 4, 2017 at 6:29 am

    You know reading is fundamental.. Comprehension is vital. Women please let go of your anger about being a single parent. Whatever the reasons that led you to becoming a single parent is not the issue. The author made a vital point. I’m a single parent myself, but we all know or should have known the man we slept with, WE MADE A CHOICE TO HAVE A CHILD BY THAT MAN!
    Learn from your mistakes and do better choosing a better man. You don’t get to devalue a man’s worth. The children are going to acknowledge their mother’s grief and hurt by rewarding you on Father’s Day and if the CHILD wants to do that then so be it, but learn to correct that with them, they are only holding on to your hurt and pain as well. Put your BIG GIRL PANTIES on and deal with your hurt and pain and YOUR CHOICE OF MATE! LET THE MEN HAVE THEIR DAY! I DIGRESS!

  4. Cindy   June 27, 2016 at 7:35 am

    I have been a single parent of five for 12years, I do everything for my children, and their father only acknowledges them when he needs to look good. My children have wished me happy Father’s Day every year since my divorce, not because I want them to but because they want to. For what ever reason mothers are single, it does not make them less worthy of being mom and dad. And yes some women can do a mans job, sometimes better than a man, but not always because we want to, but because we have to. This is an absolutely ridiculous post, to try and be politically correct on the meaning of Father’s Day, and your damn right it’s personal, and I do believe single fathers should be recognized on Mother’s Day, especially when there the sole parent in there children’s lives and stepping it up and doing the mom part. And this has nothing to do with same sex parenting or a women trying to fit in a mans world, or a man wanting to fit in a woman’s role, it has to do with good parenting, being there for your children and doing the right thing, for ones kids, and if the kids are wanting to honor there single parents on these special days, who the hell are you to say anything. The children know and love there parents enough to honor there parent the way they see fit, for whatever occasion married or single.
    Signed a hard working single mom…

  5. JW Kireru   June 21, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    A story well thought of.

  6. Leigh   June 21, 2016 at 7:54 am

    My good friend lost her husband to cancer when their daughter was 10. Every year since that time her daughter makes her a gift on Mothers AND Father’s Day.
    Why write needless articles like this? Why not write something celebrating great dads or encouraging dads to BE great?
    Sadly, this was a well-written waste of words. It did nothing but diminish the joy it gives that child to celebrate someone who has taken over both roles in the face of unbelievable tragedy.

  7. Beth   June 21, 2016 at 6:18 am

    Sort of a silly article. Who are you to tell anyone what folks should or should not do on Father’s Day? If a child wants to acknowledge their parent on Mother’s Day and Father ‘s Day, so be it. You can pooh pooh all you want, but people will do whatever makes them happy, and you shouldn’t judge.

    • lrh   May 17, 2017 at 7:38 am

      The author has every right to judge this the same as anything else and I agree with it fully. I’m sick of all of this “inclusiveness,” keep everything in its proper place and stop goofing around with the titles and definitions. The latest addition to this nonsense are “fur parents” celebrating Mother’s and Father’s Day, so apparently now being a “pet parent” means you’re honored on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. It’s a bunch of silly nonsense by a bunch of idiots who probably come from San Franwacko. Let all mothers (of human children, duh!) single married or widowed be honored on Mother’s Day, if you’re not a mother tough luck who cares how you feel, it’s not your day and that’s that. Let all married/single/widowed fathers be honored on Father’s Day and if you’re not a father tough luck who cares how you feel, it’s not your day.

You must be logged in to post a comment Login